


when one door opens

by matslightwood (unbrokengibberish)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Background Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Background Isabelle Lightwood/Lydia Branwell - Freeform, Background Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago, Flashbacks, M/M, Masturbation, Nightmares, PTSD, Rated E for later chapters, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-06-06 16:35:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 45,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6761695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbrokengibberish/pseuds/matslightwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Alec heard the incessant knocking coming from outside his apartment, the last thing he expected to find was a fairly tall, slender, but muscular Asian man standing in his underwear. But that’s what Alec saw when he looked through the peep hole.</p><p>-or- </p><p>Alec Lightwood has PTSD, three obnoxious siblings, a complicated past, and no sense of self-worth. Enter Magnus Bane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This came out of no where, but I'm excited about this concept. Bare with my nerds, hopefully it'll pay off in the end :)

When Alec heard the incessant knocking coming from outside his apartment, the last thing he expected to find was a fairly tall, slender, but muscular Asian man standing in his underwear. But that’s what Alec saw when he looked through the peep hole. 

He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t spent a moment or two longer than necessary checking the guy out, before unlocking his own door and stepping slightly into the hallway. 

The man froze, realizing he’d been caught, lowering his hand from where he’d been knocking against Alec’s neighbor’s door, and turned around slowly. 

Alec’s eyes dropped to the sharp cut of the man’s hips before jumping back up to meet the wide, rich brown eyes of the strange, almost naked man. Alec smirked a little, folding his arms, and leaning against the side of his door. 

“Problem?” Alec asked, trying not to laugh. 

“Uh--I was kind of, um, locked out,” the man said, obviously flustered. “My friends are in there, but they’re being assholes and won’t just unlock the door.” This part was said towards the door in a louder voice. 

“You might want to get some new friends,” Alec suggested. 

The guy raised an eyebrow at him and Alec really looked at his face. The man’s hair was combed tall, ends tipped in a bright turquoise that matched the glitter eyeliner framing his eyes. He had what looked to be a shiny pink gloss on his lips and Alec found himself distracted for a moment, before his eyes traveled back down and over the rest of the man. His boxer briefs were leaving very little to Alec’s imagination. 

The man cleared his throat and Alec felt a blush take over his face. His eyes bounced back up to the man’s face. 

It was Alec’s turn to stutter. “Um--so what exactly are you, um, doing practically naked in my hallway?” 

“Our hallway, sweet cheeks,” the man replied with a smirk. 

“What?” 

“I’m your new neighbor,” the man said, holding out his hand. “Magnus Bane.” 

Alec hesitated, before reaching out to shake the man’s hand. “Alec Lightwood.” 

“ _Alexander_ ,” the man, Magnus, purred. “It suits you.” 

Alec coughed, face heating up. “So--um--” He gestured to Magnus’s mostly naked body, other hand coming up to rub at the back of his head. 

“Right. See my friends are exactly five years old,” Magnus started, yelling again in the direction of the door. “So they decided it would be a totally normal and adult thing to play truth or dare, and well honestly, darling, I’m never one to turn down a dare.” 

“What exactly was this dare?” Alec asked, feeling the corner of his mouth pull up in a smile at the way Magnus spoke. He could already tell that Magnus was quite fond of his friends. 

“To run around the building in my underwear of course. However, when I got back, I realized that they locked me out. Sorry about the noise, again.” 

Alec shrugged. “I wasn’t doing anything important.” He was about to say something else when two things happened almost simultaneously. 

First, Magnus’s friends decided to stop being assholes and unlocked the door. Two men with dark hair, one wearing glasses while the other wore a haughty expression, and a woman with red hair opened the door laughing. They only glanced at Alec momentarily before turning their attention back on Magnus. 

Second, the elevator chimed, opening to reveal Alec’s siblings, Jace, Izzy, and Max. The three of them froze coming out of the elevator probably questioning the sight in front of them. Izzy was the first one to break the trance, sauntering down the hall on mile high stilettos. 

“I see you’re finally making friends, Alec,” she said, smirking up at him as she stopped. Jace and Max, carrying their take out dinner, followed her, pausing directly behind her. “I’m Isabelle Lightwood,” Izzy said, introducing herself dramatically. 

“Magnus Bane, pleasure,” Magnus replied, taking Izzy’s outstretched hand and placing a kiss on it. He seemed to have lost all his shyness regarding his unclothed state. “And you two?” Magnus asked, turning his attention to Alec’s brothers. 

“Jace.” 

“Max.” 

“I’m Clary,” the redhead in Magnus’s apartment interjected. “This is Simon and Raphael,” she continued pointing toward the other two men. Alec noticed that Jace seemed rather distracted as he stared at Clary. Alec barely stopped himself from scoffing. 

“Well, as stimulating as this has been, meeting the entire Lightwood clan and all, this hallway isn’t exactly warm and I’d kind of like to put my clothes back on,” Magnus said, smirking, looking at Alec once again. 

Alec felt himself blush. “Yeah, yeah, of course. Uh, it was nice to meet you. See you around.” 

“Oh, you most definitely will be seeing me around,” Magnus replied, before shoving Clary, Simon, and Raphael back into his apartment, following behind them. He turned, sending a wink in Alec’s direction, before closing the door behind him. 

Alec could feel all three of his siblings’ eyes on him. He chose to ignore this. 

“So what did you bring for dinner?” Alec asked, stepping back into his own apartment, not bothering to hold the door open. He walked over to his fridge, opening it, and pulling out a few beers. He handed one to each of them, before opening his own and taking a long drink. 

“What the fuck, Alec?” Jace and Izzy blurted out at the same time. Max just laughed behind them, taking the food from Jace and setting it down, before opening and drinking from his own bottle. 

“You have some explaining to do, mi hermano,” Izzy said, a wicked grin painted on her face. 

Alec momentarily wished the floor would open and swallow him up. When that didn’t happen, he told them the story of naked Magnus in the hall. It would be a story told for many years. When he finished, Izzy was the first to speak. 

“You definitely have a hard on for your neighbor,” she said, easily, taking a sip from her own beer. 

“I do not!” Alec shouted, voice going a few octaves higher than usual. “I don’t even know him.” 

“And yet, you’ve already seen him naked,” Max piped up. Alec shot a glare at his little brother. 

“She’s right, dude. You definitely have that look on your face, and hey, I don’t blame you, that was a pretty fine piece of man,” Jace replied. 

Alec snorted. When Jace had come out as bi a few years ago, no one had really been that surprised. 

“It doesn’t matter. He’s my neighbor. I’m not going to hook up with my neighbor. Chances are I’ll never see him again.” Alec busied himself with taking the food containers out of their bags and setting them out on the counter, before grabbing plates and silverware. 

“I’m sure, Alec,” Izzy said, laughter ringing in her voice. “Just wait. You two will be dating by the end of the month.” 

“I’d say two weeks,” Jace argued. 

“Hell, no. He’s going to be on that by the end of the week,” Max said. 

“I’ll bet you five dollars,” Izzy said, seriously. 

“Deal,” Jace and Max replied. 

“No betting on my love life,” Alec blurted out, before realizing what he’d said. The three other Lightwoods burst out laughing and Alec buried his face in his hands wishing for the sweet escape of death to come. This wasn’t how his night was supposed to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I cannot even promise a vague update schedule on this. This is like the worst possible time for me to start this (lmao of course!), but I only have 4 and a half weeks left of school and then summer, so by then it will get a bit better. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Also I know this is short, but think of it as more of a prologue-y type thing. The chapters will get longer as it goes on, I promise :)
> 
> Also, feel free to come chat with me @[matsdaddario](http://matsdaddario.tumblr.com)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He finished getting dressed, ran his hands through his still wet hair, took one last sip of coffee, grabbed his phone and keys, and stepped out into the hallway, closing his door behind him. 
> 
> The sound of the door behind him opening had Alec freezing momentarily. He scolded himself internally for a moment, before turning around to see a fully clothed Magnus looking even more breathtaking than the last time, if that were possible.

Alec didn’t see Magnus again for a week. Alec tended to get up early in the morning, getting a workout in before heading out to the office, coming home around seven or eight, eating dinner, and then sleeping relatively early.

Magnus on the other hand seemed to enjoy the nightlife if the sounds Alec heard echoing through the hallway at all hours of the night were any indication.

On Sunday morning, Alec allowed himself to sleep in. He was meeting his family for brunch on the Upper East Side in his parents’ home and he knew he would need all the rest he could before making the trek uptown and having to deal with his parents.

He woke up, stretching in his bed, long limbs cracking with disuse, before lying there just looking up at the ceiling. He’d been subconsciously thinking about Magnus for the last week, thinking about what his stupid siblings had bet on, just thinking a lot. He didn’t know why he couldn’t get the other man out of his mind. Sure, he was one of the most attractive men Alec had ever seen with his own two eyes, but it wasn’t just that. There was something there. Something comfortable. Something familiar. Even just meeting Magnus that one time, Alec felt as if he’d never grow tired of the other man. Felt almost like they’d known each other much longer. It had been easy to talk to him. It had been easy for his family to talk to him. Alec tried not to let himself think about what any of that could mean.

Shaking thoughts of Magnus from his brain, Alec slowly rose out of bed, walking to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. While that was brewing, Alec hopped in the shower, quickly washing his body and hair. Getting out of the shower, he dried off, making his way back to the kitchen with a towel slung around his waist. He poured himself a cup of coffee, before finishing getting ready for brunch.

He glanced at his bedside clock as he was buttoning up a navy blue shirt, blanching a little when he realized it was already 10:45. He needed to leave in five minutes. He finished getting dressed, ran his hands through his still wet hair, took one last sip of coffee, grabbed his phone and keys, and stepped out into the hallway, closing his door behind him.

The sound of the door behind him opening had Alec freezing momentarily. He scolded himself internally for a moment, before turning around to see a fully clothed Magnus looking even more breathtaking than the last time, if that were possible.

Magnus was wearing the tightest wine red pants Alec had ever seen. His shirt was a bright purple inlaid with small gold flowers that matched the colored tips of Magnus’s styled hair and the eyeliner rimming his eyes. Alec felt himself swallow at just the look of him.

When he remembered how to be a normal person and dragged his eyes up Magnus’s body to meet Magnus’s eyes, he found Magnus staring just as distractedly at the tight navy shirt he was wearing. Looking down he realized he’d missed a few of the top buttons and a small section of his chest was visible. Which was nothing compared to the fact that the first six or so buttons of Magnus’s shirt were undone, leaving almost all of Magnus’s chest exposed. It was decorated with various gold necklaces and Alec swore he’d never seen anyone prettier in his life.

“Good morning,” Alec said, finally finding his voice.

“Good morning, Alexander,” Magnus replied, snapping his eyes up to meet Alec’s. He had a small smirk planted in the corner of his mouth and Alec tried not to think about how good it looked on him. They were just neighbors. Just neighbors who barely knew each other. “What brings you out at this ungodly hour on this fine Sunday?”

“It’s 10:50, Magnus,” Alec replied, a little amused.

“And no one should be up until at least noon on a Sunday. I’m fairly certain it is the law.” Magnus’s smirk grew into more of a cheeky smile and Alec couldn’t help but smile back.

“Well, not all of us are out until the wee hours of the morning every single night,” Alec said.

Magnus’s face fell a little. “Shit, have I been too loud? I’m so---”

“You’re fine, Magnus. I was just teasing,” Alec said, cutting Magnus off from apologizing. Magnus shouldn’t have to apologize for anything about himself. “I’m actually just heading uptown to meet my family for brunch. What are you doing out at this ‘ungodly’ hour?”

Magnus’s smile was much more genuine when he answered. “I’m meeting Clary, you met her right? We’re going to do some Sunday shopping as payback for her encouraging those other two to have me run practically naked around this building. I’m sure you haven’t forgotten about that.”

Alec’s face blushed; he could feel it, which only caused him to blush more. “Yeah, I might have an---a vague--- vague recollection of that.” Alec turned back around to lock his apartment. “I should really get going. I’m going to be late as it is and my parents are kind of big on punctuality.”

“Of course, darling. Don’t let me keep you. Hopefully, we’ll see each other around soon,” Magnus replied, with a smile. Alec waved awkwardly and took the opportunity to walk down the seven flights of stairs instead of waiting to take the elevator with Magnus. He wasn’t sure if he could handle that close of contact this early in the day.

When he stepped outside into the muggy Brooklyn air, he took a deep breath, before making his way to his train.

 

* * *

 

Magnus smiled a little to himself as he watched Alexander bound down the hallway, veering off in the direction of the stairs. He turned around to lock his own door, before making his way to the elevator. He took his time, not wanting to accidentally pop out on the lobby floor at the same time as Alexander. He wouldn’t torture the man too much. Yet.

Magnus had been wondering when he’d see the other man again. After that first night a week ago when Alexander had found him in such an awkward position and had only teased him in a friendly way not even commenting on the strange man wearing makeup, he could tell that Alec was one of the good ones. Not to mention that he could be the most beautiful man that Magnus had ever seen with his own two eyes.

The fact that he was taller than Magnus had already done something to Magnus’s insides, but those deep, luminous brown eyes and the way they crinkled when he laughed had Magnus longing to get to know Alexander Lightwood better. It’d been a long time since Magnus had actively sought out anyone new in his life, even friends, but something told him that he would be making a few additions to his little group.

He walked out of the building and onto the sidewalk almost bumping directly into Clary.

“Watch it--Oh, Mangus! Hey,” Clary said, enveloping him in a hug. “Sorry, I thought you were some random guy trying to grope me.”

Magnus shuddered a bit at the thought. “No, biscuit. Just me.” He smiled.

Clary narrowed her eyes at him. “What’s with the look?”

“What look?” Magnus asked, feigning ignorance.

“You look like you just got smacked upside the head with a piece of hot ass,” Clary retorted.

Magnus let out a barking laugh. “Now there’s an image. Unfortunately, no hot asses have been anywhere near my face as of late. I just happened to bump into Alexander in the hall.”

“Ooo the hot neighbor?” Clary asked, as she linked her arm with Magnus’s and they started walking down the block. They always stayed in Brooklyn on Sundays, choosing to shop in local areas instead of dealing with the train.

“The very same.”

“So no ass has been had, but you want it to be.”

“The things I would do to that ass and imagine what he could do to mine.”

“Okay, Magnus, sharing time is over. I do not need to imagine you and your sexual activities,” Clary said, but her voice was full of laughter. “Are you planning on seeing him again?”

“Well, of course, we are neighbors after all. I might just have to lurk by my door a few times to wait for him to leave, but it will be worth it, my dear.”

“A true romantic stalker,” Clary said, placing her free hand over her heart. “Now let’s shop and stop thinking about hot ass.”

“Never stop thinking about hot ass, biscuit,” Magnus replied, as they stepped into the first shop.

 

* * *

 

Alec arrived outside his parents’ place twenty minutes late. That time was increasing as he paced on the sidewalk. Alec loved his parents, his family, they were the most important part of Alec’s world. But sometimes he was really glad he had moved out on his own.

Alec knew his parents loved him. He knew his mother was proud of him in her own way and that she would do anything to protect him. He knew his father, while not exactly comfortable with Alec’s sexuality, would always be there for him if he really needed him. But there was always that part of him, that little part in the back of his brain, that screamed at him whenever he screwed up how horrible he was, how not good enough he was. That voice always took on the tone of his parents.

Alec took a deep breath, stepping up to the door, and was let in by the doorman. He took the elevator up to the 50th floor, stepping out onto the plush carpet that lined the hallway outside his parents’ penthouse. He didn’t bother knocking, no need to waste any more time, and opened the door. He was greeted by loud laughter that made him smile.

He toed off his shoes, placing them under the coatrack by the door, and made his way into the house. Max was the first one to see him.

“Alec!” he shouted, getting up from the table and running over to give Alec a hug. It always made Alec smile when Max acted like a little kid.

“Alexander, you’re late,” his father said in way of greeting.

“Yeah, sorry, Dad. I overslept.”

Five pairs of eyes locked on him as he took his seat around the table that was full of brunch food. He started dishing up his plate when he realized they were all still looking at him.

“What?” he asked, still holding a bowl of home fried potatoes.

“You never oversleep, Alec. Are you doing okay? Have you been taking your meds?” Izzy asked, voice careful.

Alec sighed, deeply. “Izzy, I swear I’m fine. The nightmares have been a bit worse this last week, which is why I was exhausted, which is why I slept so long. I promise I’m doing everything I’m supposed to.”

“I still think you should get a dog or something,” Max piped up.

“You just want me to have a dog,” Alec accused. Max shrugged in response. Alec finished loading up his plate, before taking a bit and looking around the table at his family. “What’s with the uniform?” Alec asked Jace, who was dressed in his full police uniform.

“I got put on freaking weekend duty, just because I was a little late this week.”

“You were two hours late, three days in a row, Jace. You’re lucky they didn’t suspend you,” Izzy said, laughing a little around a bite of food in her mouth.

“Why were you so late so many days in a row?”

“You’re not the only one who’s tired, bro,” Jace replied, a sly smirk on his face.

“Ew, okay that’s enough,” Alec said, swallowing his food and taking a drink of the mimosa that had been poured for him.

“So Alec, how's work going?” Maryse asked, taking a sip of her own drink.

“It’s good, busy. There’s a lot of new work right now so I’ve been reading constantly, which is really good. Even if most of it is crap,” Alec replied. He smiled at his mom to assure her that he was doing fine. “Dad, how are the new recruits looking?”

Izzy gave him a tight smile across the table. They all thought it was best to avoid the topic of the Marines, but it was sort of impossible considering everyone of them but Max had connections to them, and that was only because Alec had refused to let his parents ship his baby brother off to war.

“They’re looking good. I fly out to base next week to check on them again,” Robert replied.

“Weren’t you just there a few days ago?” Jace asked. Alec looked at the tight, fake smile on his mother’s face and knew his parents were having problems again.

“Work never sleeps, Jace. Even if that’s all you do,” Robert said, forcing a smile onto his face.

“I can tell you that sleeping is not the problem,” Jace replied, smirking at Alec, who rolled his eyes.

“Okay, new topic,” Alec said.

“Speaking of,” Max said, clearly not ready to change the topic. “How’s your new boyfriend, Alec?”

Alec shot his youngest brother a glare that gave new meaning to ‘if looks could kill.’

“You have a boyfriend?” Maryse asked, taking another sip of her mimosa.

“No, Max is just joking, Mom,” Alec said, still glaring at his brother.

“I don’t get the joke,” Robert said.

“There’s a new guy living in my building and we all ran into him the other day and now these three are convinced that I’m in love with him, which I am not, and they won’t shut up about it.”

“Okay, I’m pretty sure none of us have said anything about Magnus in the last week,” Izzy supplied.

“That’s because I won’t answer your phone calls,” Alec pointed out, to which Izzy shrugged her shoulders, proving his point.

“So you’re not dating Magnus yet?” Jace asked.

“Of course I’m not dating Magnus. I don’t even know him. God, you guys,” Alec said, before taking a large sip of his drink.

“You lose the bet, Maxy,” Jace said, laughing at the look of utter despair on Max’s face. Alec huffed out a breath, not believing the ridiculousness of his siblings. The rest of brunch passed in semi-peace, Alec turning all attention away from himself.

 

* * *

 

Alec returned to his building a few hours later, exhausted, but feeling happier than he had in a few weeks. It was nice when his whole family got together, no matter how awkward it was between his parents. They were trying to hide the fact that they were having problems and they were failing miserably.

Alec entered the elevator, pushing the button for the seventh floor, before leaning against the elevator wall.

“Wait,” a voice called from outside the elevator, causing Alec to hit the hold button. Magnus, carrying more bags than he could comfortably hold, walked into the elevator like a model on a runway. “Alexander, how lovely to see you again.”

Alec swallowed, hitting the close button on the control panel. “Hi, Magnus,” he said, lamely. “So I take it shopping was a success?” he questioned, trying to make normal conversation. He felt his face flush a little just at the fact that he had to force himself to be normal around Magnus. He was going to kill his siblings for putting thoughts of dating Magnus into his head.

“It was positively divine, darling,” Magnus answered. Alec swallowed again at the endearment. “And how was your brunch?” Magnus asked, easily. The elevator dinged, the door opening onto their floor.

Alec let Magnus go first, before answering. “It was nice. Um, do you need help?” Alec asked, holding out a hand to take some of Magnus’s bags.

Magnus gestured with his head to the bags balancing on top of his stack. Alec grabbed them. They made their way down the hall, stopping at the end, in front of their doors. Alec waited as Magnus opened his door, setting the bags he had in his hands down, before taking the bags out of Alec’s hand. Alec tried not to jolt when Magnus’s fingers brushed lightly against his own.

“Thank you, Alexander,” Magnus said, a soft smile taking over his face. “We should do this again sometime.” Before Alec had the chance to ask what he meant by “this”, Magnus was already saying goodbye and closing his door.

Magnus Bane was definitely something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things have been brought up in this chapter that will be making themselves clearer as the story moves on. Thank you for reading! You can follow the tag #wodo updates on Tumblr to find out more about the writing of this story if you're interested! 
> 
>  
> 
> [matsdaddario](http://matsdaddario.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus stepped out of the elevator onto his floor, carrying two cloth grocery bags, one in each arm. He made his way down the hallway, his nose wrinkling a bit at the smell of something burning. It grew stronger the closer he got to his apartment. By the time he was only a door away, he noticed that Alexander’s door was propped open, a haze of smoke pouring out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, 
> 
> Sorry for the long break between these chapters. I promise I'm not abandoning this fic. Hopefully updates will be sooner, but I'm not making any promises. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for reading. 
> 
> A few notes...  
> 1) I don't know very much about the Marines. I am doing research along the way, but if it seems a little iffy, that's because it is. Hopefully it won't affect the story too much!!  
> 2) Everything will be explored more as the story goes on so if anything seems ~weird~ just bare with me. 
> 
> Enjoy!!

It was finally the weekend. At least there was that. Alec’s messenger bag weighed heavy on his shoulder, stuffed full of manuscripts that he was supposed to get through by Monday morning. Frankly, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to do it.

And yet, he knew that he shouldn’t complain. This was the life he had chosen after all. His path had been carved out for him and he’d decided to take a complete detour and do something he loved instead. He loved reading that much was true and it was a hell of a lot better than being shot at constantly. But sometimes he wondered if he should have followed that path, should have stayed in the Marines and worked his way up and out of the literal crossfires. He’s not sure if he would have survived much longer if he hadn’t gotten out when he did, but sometimes the familiarity of war beckoned to him in a way that the formal world of publishing had yet to do.

Stepping off the train and onto the platform ten blocks from his place, Alec made his way above ground, digging his phone out of his pocket as he maneuvered his way around people. He pulled up Izzy’s contact page and hit call. Holding the phone to his ear, he shuffled the bag on his shoulder and started walking in the direction of his apartment.

“Hola, mi hermano,” Isabelle’s voice greeted him.

“You busy tonight?” Alec asked, in lieu of a greeting. He silently cursed himself when he realized this would just make her worry.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Alec said, sidestepping a few people on the sidewalk. His bag slipped off his arm a bit and he cursed out loud, grabbing at it before it could fall open. The people walking behind him glared at him, stopping themselves from running full into him. He resisted the urge to flip them off.

“Alec, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, Izzy. I’m fine. I just have a shit ton of work to do and I was wondering if you wanted to come keep me company for the night?” Alec asked. He didn’t want to be alone tonight. Sometimes when he was alone he got too in his head, which usually triggered an episode of some kind. It was easier for him to read when Izzy was there goofing around, however illogical that seemed.

“Of course, Alec. I’ll be there soon.” She hung up before Alec could say anything else.

When he got to the corner where his building sat, Izzy was already strutting up the opposite way, arms full of grocery bags. Alec groaned, making his way to his sister.

“How do you already have all this?” Alec gestured to the bags. Izzy was nothing if not a horrible cook who just wouldn’t admit how terrible she was. She spent most of their sibling bonding nights making food that turned out to be inedible. They always ended up ordering take out and the one time Jace had suggested they just order the take out in the first place, Izzy had almost murdered him on the spot. They all just let her do her thing now.

“I was already planning on cooking for myself when you called and I didn’t want to waste any of this food,” Izzy said, a huge grin plastered on her face, but her eyes told him not to say anything. He wondered if she actually ate her own cooking when she was alone. He’d never asked.

“Thanks, Iz,” Alec said, letting her into the building, following her up the elevator, and down the hall to his apartment. He hoped she didn’t see the way he looked at Magnus’s front door.

She saw.

“How is the beautiful man across the hall?” Isabelle asked, as Alec let her into his apartment and she sat the grocery bags on his kitchen table, near the wall in the open living room space. His kitchen was less than ideal, more of a kitchenette along one side of the wall, but the space he had in the living room, leading out to a small, _extremely small_ , balcony, made up for the lack of kitchen.

“I haven’t seen him since last Sunday,” Alec said, dumping his bag of manuscripts on the table.

“Does that mean that Jace loses the bet?” Izzy asked, starting to put food away in Alec’s fridge. “That means I’m the only one in the running. You have two weeks to earn me mucho dinero, hermano.”

“It’s five dollars, Isabelle,” Alec deadpanned. “Also, you can give up, because there’s no way Magnus wants to date me. Not that I want to date him” --Alec added before Izzy could catch him in his slip up-- “I’m saying you should just drop it now.”

“Where’s the fun in that, dear brother?” Izzy asked, grinning at him. Alec groaned, but shook his head fondly at his little sister. She was a pain in the ass most of the time, but she was his pain in the ass and that’s all he could ask for.

“Do you mind if I change and take a shower?” Alec asked, feeling a little guilty, even though he was sure that Isabelle wouldn’t mind being left alone for a few minutes. He hated the thought of disappointing anyone, especially his little sister.

“Of course not. You go get cleaned and refreshed and I’ll start cooking,” Izzy gushed. She looked so happy and young and beautiful that Alec couldn’t stop himself from pulling her into a hug with one arm and kissing the top of her head.

“Sounds like a plan, sis,” Alec said, grinning as he turned to walk down the short hall to his bathroom. He was really glad he called Izzy.

 

* * *

 

Magnus stepped out of the elevator onto his floor, carrying two cloth grocery bags, one in each arm. He made his way down the hallway, his nose wrinkling a bit at the smell of something burning. It grew stronger the closer he got to his apartment. By the time he was only a door away, he noticed that Alexander’s door was propped open, a haze of smoke pouring out.

Unable to stop his own curiosity, Magnus moved to the other side of the hallway, pausing in Alexander’s doorway. Alec’s sister was frantically waving her arms over the stove that sat near the door. A pan of what looked like charcoal was still burning on the stove, small puffs of smoke coming out of it. Another pan had a lid on it in what Magnus realized was an attempt to smother a grease fire. The microhood fan was on full blast and another fan stood in the middle of the room blowing back and forth.

“Kitchen mishap?” Magnus asked, causing Alec’s sister--was her name Isabella?--to jump practically out of her skin as she turned around to see him standing in the doorway.

“Shit, you scared me, Magnus,” she said, her hand coming up to her chest in a very dramatic way as she attempted to calm down.

“Sorry, my dear…”

“Isabelle,” she supplied.

“Well, I didn’t mean to scare you, Isabelle. I was just making sure Alexander wasn’t burning the building down. I’d really hate to move again,” Magnus said, leaning against the door frame.

“No, Alec never burns stuff. I don’t understand what I keep doing wrong,” Isabelle said, looking forlornly at the burnt mess. Magnus felt bad for her for a moment, before the sound of someone walking down the small hallway in Alec’s apartment caused him to turn in that direction. He felt his mouth drop open.

 

* * *

 

Alec hated his sister. Not only was his apartment apparently burning down, but for some reason Magnus Bane was standing in his doorway. And Alec, having rushed out of the shower to quell the smoke engulfing his home, was standing in the middle of his own hallway with a towel slung loosely around his waist, still mostly dripping wet.

He could feel Magnus’s eyes raking over his body as he just stood there. Alec wasn’t exactly sure what to do.

“Um…” Alec said dumbly, causing Izzy to turn finally noticing him standing there. Her eyes were wide and apologetic, but he knew that was only because she had almost burnt down his kitchen. Again.

Alec’s eyes moved back to Magnus’s face and Magnus’s eyes snapped up to meet Alec’s. They stared at each other for a minute, Alec’s hand clenching on his towel.

“I’m sorry, Alec,” Izzy said, drawing Alec’s attention away from Magnus. “I fucked up again.”  
  
Surprisingly it was Magnus who responded. “Everyone makes mistakes, Isabelle. I’m sure your brother doesn’t care.”

Alec’s mouth dropped open a little, because Magnus wasn’t aware that this happened almost every month, but he was also right. Alec didn’t care that much.

“You’re not hurt, are you?” Alec asked, eyes focused on Isabelle. She shook her head. “Then Magnus is right. It’s okay. I know you aren’t trying to burn my house down.” Alec smirked a little at his sister as her eyes lit up a bit. He hated seeing her sad.

Alec’s eyes drifted over to Magnus again, who was looking at him with a curious expression. Alec raised one eyebrow.

“Sorry, I just smelt smoke and wanted to make sure you weren’t burning the building down. But now that I’m here, groceries in hand, and it looks like you have nothing to eat, and I bought more food than I could possible eat for myself. Let me cook you two dinner?” Magnus rambled, glancing between the two of them and seeming a bit flustered.

“Oh, we couldn’t ask you---”

“That would be amazing, Magnus,” Izzy cut off Alec’s protest. Alec sent a glare in her direction.

“Excellent,” Magnus said, eyes dragging down Alec’s body again, before he moved to put his grocery bags on the kitchen table. “I hope you both like Indonesian food. I was feeling a bit homesick.” He pulled out a bottle of red wine, handing it to Izzy, and made himself at home in Alec’s kitchen. Alec shook his head a little to break the daze.

“I’m going to go, uh, put on some clothes,” Alec said, face flushing as Magnus made eye contact with him again over his own shoulder. Alec turned around quickly and made his way to his room, shutting himself inside. He definitely wasn’t glad he’d called Izzy.

 

* * *

 

Alec emerged from his bedroom a few minutes later in a pair of low riding jeans and an old black t-shirt. He pushed a hand through his still damp curls as he walked down the short hallway into the kitchen, where he was surprised to find Izzy chopping vegetables as Magnus threaded some sort of meat onto long skewers.

“Do you think that’s wise?” Alec asked, nodding at Izzy as he picked up the glass of wine she’d poured for him.

Isabelle turned around long enough to stick her tongue out at Alec, before she went back to concentrating on her task. Alec laughed, a low chuckle, before taking a sip of the wine. It was good. It tasted a lot more expensive than anything Alec ever bought for himself.

“I’m fairly certain she won’t burn down the kitchen chopping carrots, Alexander,” Magnus responded, not looking away from what he was doing.

“You don’t know Izzy too well then,” Alec said, smirking a little. He made his way to the table where his bag was sitting. He sighed, sitting down and pulling the pile of manuscripts out of the bag, stacking them together so they looked even more intimidating.

The sound of pots and pans shifting and cupboard doors closing drew his attention back to the two in the kitchen.

“What are you looking for?”

“I don’t suppose you have a wok?”

“In the drawer under the oven.” Alec nodded down. An expression of almost surprise passed over Magnus’s face, before he turned back around and bent down to get the pan. Alec looked back at his manuscripts immediately.

He pulled one out, figuring he might as well put a dent in the pile. He flipped it open, groaning a little at the first line and plunged into reading.

About twenty minutes later and a good two chapters into the manuscript, Alec was drawn out of his reading by the smell of something that definitely wasn’t smoke.

“Wow, it smells delicious,” Alec said, glancing up from the table. Magnus looked over his shoulder, smiling a little, before he went back to tossing around the contents of the wok. “What are you making?”

“Pork Satay and Mie Goreng, which is basically a fried noodle dish with chicken. Shit, neither of you are vegetarians are you?” Magnus asked, suddenly looking a little panicked as if he wasn’t cooking dinner for Isabelle and Alec while they mostly waited around not helping.

“No, that all sounds amazing,” said Isabelle, who had migrated to the couch after finishing her vegetable chopping.

“Yeah, it really does. I can’t say I’ve had a ton of Indonesian food in my life,” Alec said, leaning back in his chair and taking another sip of his wine.

“That is unfortunate. There’s a great place right here in Brooklyn that you should definitely try. It’s called Java, probably a lot better than my cooking,” Magnus said, pulling the Satay out of the oven. “But as I said, I was feeling a bit homesick and I’ve learned it helps if I’m actually cooking it.”

“So you’re from Indonesia?”

“Originally, yes. Although my step-father moved me here when I was about six, so I don’t remember it too much, but occasionally I’ll get that craving,” replied Magnus. A dark look flashed across his face before he quickly turned back around. Alec wondered if he’d imagined it. Magnus turned off the stove, tossing the noodles in the wok once more. “Everything looks done. Bon apetite.”

Izzy hopped up from the couch, excitedly bouncing over to the food, grabbing plates and silverware from Alec’s cupboards and setting the table. Alec moved the manuscripts, dropping them on the floor behind his chair. He stood up, awkwardly, not really knowing what to do. He felt a little out of place in his own home.

“We should just dish up from the stove, if that’s alright with you?” Magnus asked, looking at Alec and Alec had the sudden urge to thank this man he barely knew for some how understanding him.

“That sounds perfect,” Alec replied, picking up his plate and walking over to the stove. “You should dish up first though, since you did all the work. I insist.” He added the last part as Magnus looked like he was about to protest.

They all dished up, pouring themselves another glass of wine each, and sat down at the table. It felt weird having Magnus sitting around his table, where he was so used to seeing only his siblings and a few of his close friends, but it was a good weird, a welcomed weird.

He took a bite and had to hold back a moan. “Good Lord, this is amazing,” Alec said, as soon as he swallowed, eagerly diving back into the plate of noodles and pork. He looked up to see Magnus smiling at him across the table. Izzy was eagerly digging into her own plate as well.

“It really is, Magnus, way better than anything I could have made,” Izzy agreed as soon as she swallowed her own bite of food.

“You two are too kind,” Magnus said, but Alec could tell that he sounded pleased.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, before Izzy’s social butterfly kicked in. “So, Magnus,” she started, taking a sip of her wine. “What do you do?”

“I’m actually in fashion. I’m a designer, but more up and coming than established, I’m afraid.”

Alec looked up at Magnus, taking in his outfit. He was wearing a dark purple shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest. It seemed to be made of an almost sheer material and it complimented Magnus’s tan skin gorgeously. He was wearing a couple of necklaces, each one placed just so they didn’t over shadow each other. His makeup matched the color of the shirt as did the tips of his hair and his nail polish. Alec could definitely see this man in fashion.

“That’s so exciting,” Izzy was saying when Alec tuned back into the conversation. “You’ll have to take me shopping sometime. You must know the best places in the city.”

Magnus beamed at the compliment. “Your fashion sense doesn’t seem to be lacking, my dear. Your brother’s on the other hand…” Magnus turned his gaze toward Alec, causing Alec to flush a deep shade of red. The mischievous glint in Magnus’s eye let Alec know he was only joking. Alec went back to eating. “And what do you do, dear Isabelle?”

“I’m actually in forensic pathology. I work for the NYPD, but I’m still finishing up my last year of schooling,” Izzy said, taking another bite of food.

“That’s definitely not what I was expecting,” Magnus confessed, sounding amused. “May I ask how you got into that?”

“It started when I was over in Iraq. I found myself fascinated by the medical aspect of everything more so than anything else. When I got back here, I found myself even more interested in the medical field, but not enough to be an actual doctor. When Jace, our brother, got a job at the precinct, I just ended up following him. It all sort of just fell into place.”

Alec had frozen a bit at the mention of Iraq, but tried to play it off, sliding some food around on his plate.

“Iraq?” Magnus asked, looking between Alec and Isabelle. Isabelle shot an anxious look at Alec, who was still staring at his plate.

“Um, yeah. Sorry, I forgot that you don’t really know Alec that well. We both served in Iraq for four years. Marines. It’s a family thing,” Izzy answered, trying to brush over the topic.

“Well, that’s noble. Also, not something I would have suspected, however it does explain why the two of you are in such impeccable shape,” Magnus said, smiling a bit. Alec tried to smile back, but he felt a little sick. “Are you still in the military, Alexander?”

“No,” Alec said, too brashly. “I mean, no, not anymore. I actually work in publishing now.” Alec gestured to the pile of manuscripts on the floor.

“Oh, that’s what that was,” Magnus said. “How did you get involved in that?”

Alec easily went into the story of how he fell in love with publishing. He’d always loved books and when he got home after his discharge, he decided to turn his degree in comparative literature into something useful.

Magnus listened to Alec intently, which was something Alec wasn’t used to. He finished telling the story about his career path and finished his glass of wine. He made his way over to the stove to dish up more of the food. It was good and it was rare that he had someone cooking for him.

“So why did you both decide to leave the marines?” Magnus asked. Alec’s hand tightened around his plate. Magnus seemed to notice the sense of quiet that fell over the two of them. “I’m sorry that was rude. It’s none of my business. Please don’t mind me.”

Izzy was the first one to speak. “No, it’s really all right, Magnus. The three of us just didn’t feel like we fit very well. We only joined in the first place because our parents were in the marines and they basically forced us. But we all kind of grew in a different direction.” Izzy was rambling, which happened rarely and only when she was nervous.

Alec sat down with his plate, before meeting Izzy’s eyes. He shook his head gently, letting her know that he was okay.

“So fashion,” Izzy started up, turning the conversation toward Magnus. Alec watched as Magnus animatedly talked about his job. It was almost mesmerizing the way Magnus talked. Everything from the fluid gestures he made to the small shimmy of his shoulders to the rich, satisfied tone of his voice made Alec want to listen to him talk forever.

However, soon a harsh knock was resounding in the hallway. It didn’t let up for a few minutes, continuing to grow more impatient.

“¡Dios mío!, Bane. I swear to fucking God….” A smooth voice accompanied the pounding.

Magnus cringed, pushing out from the table and standing up before walking over to Alec’s front door. “Raphael,” he greeted, opening Alec’s door. From where he sat at the table, Alec saw Raphael jump, turning around harshly. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Raphael brushed past Magnus into Alec’s apartment, ignoring both Alec and izzy, before he started to pace. “I swear that little pasty assed kid is going to be the death of me.” He was muttering under his breath and Alec and Izzy exchanged confused glances with Magnus.

“Are you talking about your dear boyfriend, Raphael?” Magnus asked, voice amused.

“He’s not my boyfriend when he paces around our apartment incessantly practicing every single song he knows in the world. He was trying to play Shakira, to and I quote ‘Get back to his roots!’ I made him dinner and he wouldn’t even sit down to eat,” Raphael said, stopping his pacing mid stride as he looked over at Izzy and Alec still sitting at the table. “Shit, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Izzy waved a hand, excusing him.

“We were actually just finishing up,” Magnus said, looking around the kitchen. “I hate to eat and run…”

“No, it’s fine. Really, Magnus.” Alec stood up from the table, not really knowing what to do.

“Well then, I guess I’ll take my ill behaved friend back to my apartment so he doesn’t pace a hole in your floor,” Magnus said, smirking. Raphael flipped him off, but exited back out Alec’s door without so much as a goodbye. “I’m sorry about him.”

“Don’t worry. Thank you for cooking. It really was amazing--Shit, um you should--yeah you should take the leftovers home considering...considering you did buy them all and cook them,” Alec said, his hand coming to the back of his neck in a nervous habit.

“Don’t be silly, Alexander,” Magnus said, smiling. “You keep it. I should really get back to Raphael.”

Alec nodded awkwardly and Magnus made his way over to the door. He paused, before turning back around to look at them.

“Simon, the annoying boyfriend that Raphael is currently questioning the existence of, is playing a gig at this club downtown tomorrow,” Magnus started, looking at Izzy before locking eyes with Alec. “You’re both welcome to come. You should bring Jace as well. The more the merrier honestly. Simon’s band is pretty terrible.” Magnus smiled, fondly.

Alec couldn’t help but grin back a little. He couldn’t drop eye contact either. “That sounds fun,” he said, lamely. Magnus smiled, nodded, and left, closing the door behind him with an elegant wave of his hand and a friendly goodnight. Alec turned back around to a practically leering Izzy. “Don’t start,” he said, making his way to clear off the table.

“I didn’t say anything, mi hermano,” Izzy said, standing up to help him clean up. “However, I’m about to be five dollars richer.” She grinned at him evilly as she put the leftover food into tupperware containers.

Alec started washing the dishes, but he couldn’t get the elegant movements and sparks of color that were Magnus out of his head. He was still thinking about Magnus when he climbed into bed later that night. He tried to convince himself it was normal how much he was thinking about Magnus.

Magnus had somehow become a friend and it was completely normal to think about your friends. Alec pushed away the part of himself that told him he was lying; the last thing he needed on top of everything else was a relationship. He didn’t need someone else in his life that would drop him the first chance they got. He didn’t need another thing to mess up his mind. As he turned over onto his side, pulling his legs to his chest on the mattress, Alec thought about how easily Magnus fit into his life and how important it was that he didn’t cross any boundaries. He drifted to sleep, the sounds of Izzy snoring in his guest room making him feel somehow safer, and wondered if he’d ever be truly happy again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The bit about Shakira and Simon's roots is an attempt to sneak in a bit of Simon's latino heritage, because Alberto is part Colombian (like Shakira lol). I'm going to try really hard to represent everyone in here to the best of my ability, but also keep in mind it is mostly centered on Magnus and Alec. 
> 
> Come let me know what you are thinking @matsdaddario on Tumblr!! Hint: I'm more likely to answer asks on there than I am to respond to comments on here! But I still love the comments <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m glad you came tonight,” Magnus said, as he turned around to look back at the small crowd. “Your sister and her girlfriend are lovely. Your Jace, on the other hand, will have the pleasure of dealing with me if he fucks Clary over.” 
> 
> Alec caught Magnus’s small smile, glad that he was partially joking.
> 
> “Thanks for inviting us,” Alec said, a small smile on his own lips. 
> 
> Magnus smiled at him. “Thank you for dressing in something other than black,” Magnus said, laughing a little at Alec’s bewildered face. “I must say this is a snazzy shirt and I should know, I work in fashion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have found betas! A huge shoutout to Jaimie (@sarcasticlightwood) and Kim (@ace-archer-alec) for helping me get this chapter right, by telling me to stop being so rambly. Thank you both very much.

Alec sprang up from the bed, coming into a sitting position, and pressed a hand to his raw throat. Another nightmare.

Untwisting himself from the covers, he took a few deep breaths and tried to remember what he’d seen this time. It had been an all too familiar dream; one he’d been having for the past two years. A bomb exploding and the impossible choice between rushing those around him to safety or attempting to help those closest to the explosion. And of course the feeling of failure. Always failing.

He laid back down, rolling over onto his side, and startled when he noticed a figure hovering in the doorway. Izzy looked so small leaning against the doorframe like that arms crossed over one of his old t-shirts and tiny legs peeking out from a pair of borrowed boxers. Alec knew the solemn expression on her face was his fault; his raw throat was evidence that he’d been screaming in his sleep again and it must have woken her up.

Alec tried to smile at her, but he couldn’t quite get his muscles to cooperate. Instead, he lifted the corner of his comforter and she padded her way over to the bed, crawled under the blanket, and buried her face in his chest. Alec wrapped his arm around his sister, hand shaking against her back.

“You said you were doing better,” Izzy softly accused, voice mumbled from where her head was now tucked against his chest.

“I am, Izzy. Some nights are just worse than others,” he said, voice hoarse and rough. He kissed the top of her head and tried to relax. “Go back to sleep,” he told her.

Soon enough her breathing evened out. Alec didn’t fall back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Alec laid in bed for another two hours, letting Izzy’s breathing calm his rapid heart rate, before he crawled over her, careful not to wake her up, and made his way to the kitchen.

He started a pot of coffee and moved to the couch to read another manuscript.

Halfway through the third page, he realized he wasn’t focused, knew nothing about what he was reading, sighed, and put the stack of paper down. He scrubbed one hand down his face, rubbing hard at his eyes, and flinched when images of his most recent nightmare flooded back to him.

It’d been two years since he’d been discharged, two years since his PTSD diagnosis, and two years of almost non-stop nightmares. The last six or seven months the nightmares had noticeably let up, not plaguing him every night. But for some reason the last few weeks had been hell on him.

He wasn’t sure if it was just stress from work or if his medication was starting to fail him. He knew he should make an appointment with his therapist and see if any changes needed to be made, but he hated admitting he needed help.

Max had rushed into his room, saw his big brother tearing at his sheets and skin, and tried to shake him awake. Alec, waking up disoriented, had almost punched him. Alec had apologized for the next week, before Max had finally convinced him, with the help of a three way skype call from Jace and Isabelle, that he needed to seek help. He spent the next week apologizing, before a three way Skype call with Jace and Isabelle finally convinced him that he needed to seek help.

Max had gone with him to his first appointment. After that session, he had made Max promise to let Alec do whatever needed to be done to keep Max out of the military. He didn’t need his baby brother to experience the same hell he’d gone through. Alec had started saving for Max’s college tuition the next day.

“Good morning,” Isabelle said as she emerged from Alec’s hallway, making her way over to the coffee pot and drawing Alec out of his memories. “How are you feeling?”

“Isabelle, I am fine,” Alec stressed. He hated when she worried about him. He’d moved out of his parents house as soon as he’d been discharged to keep his family from worrying about him.

“Alec, you were screaming so loud I heard you through the wall. This is a fairly nice apartment and your walls aren’t that thin,” Izzy said, holding a mug of coffee in between her hands and fixing him with a stare.

“I told you the nightmares have been worse lately, but I’m fine. I promise you,” Alec said, eyes pleading her.

“Alec, you need to go see your doctor,” she said, coming over to the couch to sit next to him.

He sighed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and dragging her into his side. “I will. I promise.”

“Good. You’d better. Now, what are you going to wear to see Magnus tonight?” Izzy asked, smirking up at him. She was nothing if not an excellent topic changer.

Alec groaned deeply.

 

* * *

 

The truth was Alec had no idea what he was supposed to wear to a casual band gig at a bar that he’d never been to with his siblings and a guy that was almost his friend.

He didn’t like that he was freaking out about this so much, but his usual wardrobe of black on black probably wasn’t going to do. Or at least, Izzy wasn’t going to let it. Which is why she was now standing in front of Alec’s closet, with the doors wide open, rifling through everything he owned.

“Seriously big brother, you need to go shopping,” Izzy said, pushing aside another section of black dress shirts. “Aha!” Grinning, she pulled out one of the only colored shirts he owned.

It was a dark purple, almost black in the wrong light. Alec stared at the shirt doubtfully. He recalled receiving it for Christmas from Izzy a few years ago, but couldn’t summon a single memory of actually wearing the unfamiliar fabric. It was shiny, silky to the touch.

“Isn’t this a bit much for a bar, Iz?” Alec grimaced as his sister held out the shirt in front of his face.

“Nope, you’ll look amazing. Skip the tie, leave a few buttons undone, and pair it with dark jeans and your boots. It will be casual enough for the bar but still send the message that you care what you look like.”

“I don’t care what I look like,” he responded unconvincingly.

“Sure you don’t, big brother. Now I have to go so I can get ready; text me the address of the bar and don’t forget to invite Jace to come.” She hung the shirt on his closet door handle and flounced out of his room. Alec followed her back out to the main living area of the apartment. “See you tonight,” she said, giving him a hug. “Please call your doctor. Love you,” she said, leaning up to kiss his cheek before she left.

Jesus, sisters could really drive you nuts sometimes.

 

* * *

 

Magnus was rifling through his closet for an outfit for Simon’s gig tonight when it dawned on him that he’d completely neglected to properly inform Alexander about the event. Like the time, location...a way to contact him.

Magnus shook his head in disappointment. It was just like him to get distracted by a pretty smile and a beautiful wet torso and forget to give the man his phone number.

He looked down at himself, dressed in a pair of lavender short shorts and a muscle shirt. He hadn’t had any intentions of leaving his apartment before Simon’s performance tonight, but now questioned his choice of comfortable clothing. Oh well. Alec had already seen Magnus in much less.

Magnus unwound Chairman Meow from around his ankles and padded to the kitchen, grabbing the flyer for Simon’s gig from the fridge as he passed by.

After giving it a quick glance, he made his way to the front door, crossing over the threshold to Alec’s apartment door and knocked.

Nothing happened. He glanced at his phone in his hand; it was four o’clock in the afternoon and he hoped that Alec wasn’t already out for the day.

Magnus knocked once more and jumped when a seemingly flustered Alexander wearing a thin black tank top with his phone glued to his ear swung the door open.

Alec held out one finger to instruct Magnus to wait, his face softening into an apologetic expression.

“Next Wednesday at five o’clock is great. Thank you, Dr. Rollins,” Alec said into the phone. “Of course, Dot. I’ll see you then. Thank you again.” With an awkward flush and a quick blink, Alec hung up the phone. “Hi, Magnus,” he said, turning his attention back toward Magnus, who felt as if he were intruding. “Sorry about that. What’s up?”

Alec’s hand was rubbing at the back of his neck and Magnus had to pull his eyes away from the bulge of his bare bicep. He shook his head a little, looking up at Alexander’s face.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Magnus started, feeling uncharacteristically flustered, which only seemed to happen around Alec. “I just realized that I left so quickly last night and I forgot to give you the details for Simon’s gig tonight. That is if you still wanted to come.”

Alec smiled softly at Magnus. “Yeah, I actually got off the phone with Jace a little while ago and realized that I didn’t have much to tell him,” Alec said, laughing nervously. “I was trying to figure out a way to find out where to go without being annoying.”

“Well, now I get to be the annoying one and interrupt what seemed like an important phone call,” Magnus said, feeling a wave of guilt.

“Oh, no. Don’t worry. I was just getting off the phone anyway,” Alec said, in a reassuring voice. He seemed genuine so Magnus let himself calm down.

“Anyway, I was just going to get your number and text you the details if that’s okay?”

Alec was already handing him his phone, opened to a new contact page. Magnus smiled, quickly entered his information, sent a text to himself, and passed the phone back to Alec.

“The gig is at a bar downtown at nine o’clock,” Magnus said, as Alec took his phone back. “But I’ll text you the address later?”

“Sounds good,” Alec said, his eyes shifting around a bit.

“Well, I should go finish getting ready and leave you to it,” Magnus said, shifting backwards on his feet a bit. “I’ll see you and your family hoard tonight.” With that, Magnus, never being one to turn down an exaggerated exit, turned on his feet and quickly entered back into his own apartment, closing the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

Alec closed the door to his own apartment, leaning his forehead against the cool door, and took a deep breath.

Magnus had to be trying to kill him in those short shorts. He closed his eyes to take another steadying breath, but the image of the swell of Magnus’s ass caused them to spring back open.

Just friends. Alec had drawn the line in his mind and he wasn’t going to cross it. He had a therapy session scheduled for Wednesday, he was spending time with his family tonight, and everything would be fine as long as Alec maintained a thick, bolded friend line for Magnus in his brain.

Besides, it wasn’t as if someone like Magnus would ever be interested in someone like him.

 

* * *

 

The bar was loud when Alec walked inside flanked by Izzy and Jace. Izzy’s arm was linked through Lydia’s and she immediately tugged her girlfriend in the direction of the bar to get them all drinks.

One advantage of Alec’s height was that he could scan the crowd, looking for a sign of Magnus or his friends. He caught sight of a bright red ponytail in a corner booth first. He shoved at Jace’s shoulder, pushing him in that direction, before his eyes landed on Magnus sitting across from his redhead friend.

Alec swallowed. Magnus looked amazing. His hair was high up on his head, gold-tipped bangs falling over his eyes .He was wearing a deep maroon shirt with little golden flowers that was distressingly exposing most of Magnus’s chest. Five gold necklaces sat against his exposed chest and when they got closer to the booth Alec saw that Magnus’s eyes were lined with a glitter gold liner. Magnus was definitely in fashion.

Alec briefly looked down at his own purple shirt and black jeans. He suddenly felt very plain.

Magnus threw his head back, laughing at something his friend was saying, exposing the long expanse of his neck. When he brought his head back down, his eyes were wide with laughter and he locked eyes with Alec, eyes brightening even more as he jumped up from the table.

“Alexander,” Magnus said in lieu of a greeting, his eyes scanning the crowd around Alec. “And Alexander’s brother”-- Izzy and Lydia made their way over -- “And the lovely Isabelle, and...I don’t know this one?”

“Lydia Branwell, Isabelle’s girlfriend,” Lydia said, offering her hand for Magnus to shake. He brought said hand to his lips instead, placing a small kiss on her hand. Lydia blushed and Magnus smiled a bright smile at her, before turning his attention back to Alec.

“Simon will be delighted that I managed to draw such a big crowd to his show,” Magnus stated, and Alec again wondered how bad Simon’s band really was. “Oh forgive me, this is Clary who I believe you’ve met,” Magnus said as Clary shifted in the booth to face them, giving a small wave. “Let’s sit!”

Lydia handed Alec his drink of club soda and lime juice, Isabelle handed Jace his beer, and the four of them maneuvered their way into the corner booth to await the start of Simon’s set.

Alec was squeezed in next to Magnus, something that he found less than coincidental as Izzy smirked at him from next to Jace, across the table. Alec shifted so there was as much room as possible between Magnus and him, limiting the possibility of random touches. It had nothing to do with the fact that Magnus’s arm accidently brushed Alec’s and he momentarily felt as if his skin was on fire.

Alec listened as Magnus struck up a conversation with Isabelle and Lydia; the smooth rhythm of Magnus’s voice was mesmerizing. He was a little floored by how easily their friend groups seemed to meld together as he watched Jace attempt to flirt with Clary. She seemed to be doing a wonderful job at resisting his usual charm, however. Alec smirked when he saw that Clary’s resistance resulted in a baffled look on Jace’s face.

“Where’s Raphael?” Alec asked Magnus as his conversation with the girls lulled.

“He’s in a room backstage with Simon. By a room backstage, I mean a closet. By with Simon, I mean attempting to restrain himself from murdering the poor boy,” Magnus answered, turning his body slightly to respond to Alec. He draped his arm over the booth behind Alec. Alec’s heart rate picked up exponentially.

He caught Lydia’s eye across the table, who was wearing a knowing look. He flushed deeply, thankful the bar was so dark, and jumped up from the booth quickly. “Does anyone need a refill?”

Everyone nodded and Alec turned to walk away from the table when he heard Lydia pipe up, “I’ll help you,” before she followed Alec.

As best as he could, Alec ignored Lydia’s gaze on him as they waited for the bartender to mix their drinks. Alec wished he was drinking something harder than club soda at this point, but Dr. Rollins had suggested on the phone earlier that maybe mixing alcohol with his meds was the reason they weren’t working. He’d decided to at least give it a try and stop drinking. But as Lydia’s unwavering stare held him in place, he really wished he didn’t care about his fucked up mind.

“What?” he bit out at her, a bit harsher than he meant to.

Lydia was his best friend outside of his siblings and she knew him better than almost anyone. Alec’s parents had actually set them up before Alec had come out, which is how they’d met. When he’d finally told her he was gay, she’d told him that she was into Isabelle and everything had worked out better than expected.

However, moments like this made him regret their relationship. She saw right through him.

“So that’s Magnus Bane,” Lydia replied, glancing back at the booth.

“What about him?” Alec said. His gaze remained fixed on the shelf of bottles behind the bar.

“Nothing, just that you’re into him.” When Alec turned to her eyes a little wide in shock, she was grinning. “Oh come on, Alec. It’s obvious and I mean I don’t blame you. That’s the most charming man I’ve ever met in my life. Don’t tell Jace.”

“We’re just friends,” Alec said, for what felt like the hundredth time. He wasn’t sure if he’d said it that much or if each time it sounded less true even to himself, making it seem like he was a broken record.

“Alec Lightwood, I love you like a brother, but either you are lying to yourself or you need to reevaluate what ‘friend’ means to you.” Lydia grabbed three of the drinks, gave him a sympathetic smile, and walked back to the booth.

Lydia’s words echoed in his head as Alec watched her walk away, eyes landing on Manus. No, they were just friends. Even if he did find Magnus attractive and charming and kind, Magnus clearly only saw Alec as a friend.

 

* * *

 

After Lydia and Alec left the table, Isabelle slid into the now open seat next to Magnus.

“Can we talk?” Isabelle asked Magnus, her voice full of seriousness. Magnus simply nodded, allowing Isabelle to speak her mind. “My brother’s life is complicated. I won’t tell you everything, because it’s not my place to do so, but trust me, his life hasn’t been easy. He may act like he’s in control all the time, but he’s not and that scares him. I think you scare him a bit as well. Something you should know about Alec is that he is fiercely protective of the people he cares about and you’re becoming one of those people--”

“Isabelle, we hardly know each other,” Magnus interrupted.

Isabelle held up a hand to silence him. “I know my brother. He has a switch that’s always on, but I can interpret most of his feelings. He likes you. Alec doesn’t have many friends outside of us and we may tease him constantly for it, but I’m glad you came into our lives. Alec needs more people like you in his life. Just---Please be careful.”

“I don’t plan on hurting your brother, Isabelle.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Isabelle replied, with a sad smile.

Magnus opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by Lydia dropping three drinks on the table. Alec returned moments later, sliding next to Lydia across from his sister. Magnus let the conversation drop, but he watched Alec closely, more closely, as he started talking to his siblings. Alexander Lightwood was going to change his life, he just wasn’t sure in which way.

 

* * *

They all continued chatting until a soundcheck drew their attention to the stage.

Simon was standing in front of the microphone, mumbling something to his base player, guitar slung behind his back.

He turned back to the microphone. “Good evening, everybody. We’re just about to get started, but we wanted to thank you all for coming out tonight. We hope you enjoy listening as much as we enjoy playing.” The crowed clapped as he pulled his guitar to the front, played a few cords, and then the band started up.

Clary pushed against Jace, who pushed against Lydia, who in turn pushed against Alec, until they were all sliding out of the booth. They all made their way to the front of the crowd that had gathered by the small stage at the back of the bar.

Alec allowed himself to be maneuvered by his sister and Lydia until he was standing in front of the amps. He shuffled around a little, until he was standing behind Izzy and Lydia, and immediately felt guilty to anyone standing behind him. He tried to slump his shoulders to make up for it.

Clary was standing directly in front of Simon, screaming along with the lyrics of whatever indie song Simon was playing. Jace was hovering suspiciously close to Clary. Lydia and Izzy were dancing together. Raphael had come out from backstage to join them and was now standing near Magnus. Alec wormed his way to the back of the crowd, not wanting to block anyone’s view.

He leaned against the bar and watched his friends. Simon’s band actually wasn’t terrible.

After twenty minutes, Simon announced a quick five minute break for the band and thanked the crowd for their enthusiasm. Clary jumped up on the stage to hug Simon, Raphael lingered around too. Izzy and Lydia were too lost in each other to notice that the music had even stopped. He smiled, before turning to the bartender to order a water.

“Make that two,” Magnus said as he approached the bar, leaning next to Alec. The bartender nodded and disappeared momentarily. “Not your thing?” Magnus asked, pointing a thumb back towards the front of the stage.

“No, they’re actually not as terrible as you let on. I’m just not big on crowds. Plus, the woman behind me looked like she was going to shove me down so she could see better. Figured it was safer if I came back here,” Alec replied, taking the water the bartender handed him. Magnus laughed a little and Alec smiled back at him.

His eyes did not follow the bob of Magnus’s throat as he took a sip of his water.

“I’m glad you came tonight,” Magnus said, as he turned around to look back at the small crowd. “Your sister and her girlfriend are lovely. Your Jace, on the other hand, will have the pleasure of dealing with me if he fucks Clary over.”

Alec caught Magnus’s small smile, glad that he was partially joking.

“Thanks for inviting us,” Alec said, a small smile on his own lips.

Magnus smiled at him. “Thank you for dressing in something other than black,” Magnus said, laughing a little at Alec’s bewildered face. “I must say this is a snazzy shirt and I should know, I work in fashion.”

His hand hovered out a little like he wanted to touch Alec, but quickly retreated, playing with one of the necklaces at his throat.

Alec let out a deep laugh. “Izzy picked it out. She may also not realize the difference between a bar and an upscale nightclub.” He fumbled with the collar of his purple, silky shirt.

“I’ll have to thank Isabelle for her exquisite taste, it seems.” Magnus smirked a little at Alec. Alec was trying to think of a reply, when Simon’s guitar sounded through the bar once more. “We normally go to this run down diner near the apartment after Simon’s gigs. You and your siblings are more than welcome to join us.”

Alec nodded and Magnus grabbed his water, making his way back to the front of the stage. Alec watched him dancing around, laughing as he tried to pull Raphael into a dance. He was incredibly grateful that he had stumbled into the lives of these people.

 

* * *

 

An hour later, Magnus found himself wedged into another corner booth in a diner just a few blocks over. He was situated between Isabelle and the wall this time, with Alexander sitting across from him.

Alec had visibly relaxed since the start of the evening and Magnus noticed how much calmer he looked without the large crowd and loud music of the bar. Magnus vaguely wondered if that was how Alec always was, or if that was an effect of the war.

His natural curiosity had him itching to bring up the topic ever since Isabelle had mentioned it at dinner last night, and God was that only last night. Time seemed to morph into an unpredictable roller coaster ever since the Lightwoods had stumbled into his life.

Of course, even though he was overly curious, he knew better than to bring up the traumatic past in such a casual setting. He probably knew better than anyone.

Which was how he found himself listening intently as Isabelle and Jace discussed their police work.

Alexander’s face seemed to light up as he listened to his siblings talk about their jobs. He looked like the proud older brother that Magnus was learning he was.

So maybe he wasn’t listening as intently to the Lightwoods as he had intended. His mind kept backtracking to the conversation that he’d had with Isabelle earlier. What was she so worried that Alec would do to hurt him of all people? Shouldn’t she be worried about Magnus hurting Alec? He was also curious what she had meant by the word “hurt.”

“Magnus!” Clary shouted, from her place tucked in between Alec and Jace across the table.

Magnus shook his head and quickly looked away when Alec made eye contact with him. “What, biscuit?”

“Izzy asked about your job. What thoughts are you so lost in?”

Magnus’s eyes slid back over to Alec’s face briefly, before he turned his attention to Isabelle. “I’m sorry, darling. What did you ask?”

“How long have you been in fashion?” Alec repeated Isabelle’s question and when Magnus looked back across the table, his expression was unreadable.

Magnus turned back to Isabelle to answer. “Since college actually. I studied fashion design and then an old girlfriend of mine convinced me to start my own line. It’s been, what, twelve years in the making. I’m actually supposed to have my first real show in the next month or so, but the label I’m working under is being a bit persnickety.”

“Wait, girlfriend?” Jace asked, apparently not caring about Magnus’s job as an up and coming fashion star. “I thought…”

“I’m bi,” Magnus said, flatly, gaging a reaction.

“Me too, man,” Jace said, a grin breaking out on his face, that caused both Magnus and Alec to laugh. Magnus once again caught Alexander’s eye, causing the other man to blush and look down. Being Alec’s friend was definitely going to be a challenge if he kept blushing so adorably. But Alec wasn’t letting on that he was interested in anything else and Magnus would respect that.

Lydia yawned from her seat beside Isabelle, her head slipping down to her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“It looks like it’s time for us to take off,” Izzy commented, sliding her arm around Lydia’s back. Lydia made an affirmative sound, cuddling closer to her girlfriend. Magnus smiled at the two of them.

“I think we’re going to take off as well,” Simon piped up from the end of the table where he and Raphael were sitting in chairs their dragged over. “The adrenaline is wearing off and I’m beat.”

They all nodded, making a unanimous decision that it was time to leave. Magnus threw some money down to cover the fries and milkshakes that they had ordered. Alec quirked an eyebrow at him as they slid out of the booth.

“Inheritance. Long story,” Magnus said in lieu of a real explanation.

They all made their way out of the diner, pausing to say their goodbyes before they went off in different directions.

“It was really great meeting all of you,” Lydia mumbled from her place tucked under Isabelle’s arm.

“Thank you all for coming,” Simon said, wrapping his arm around Raphael, who looked like he was about to fall asleep.

They said a few more goodbyes and then everyone broke off into different directions. Alec and Magnus fell in step with each other as they made their way up the block to their apartment building.

The two of them walked in silence for a little bit and while he would usually feel awkward at the silence, Magnus didn’t mind it. It felt comfortable, much like most of his encounters with Alec had been over the last few weeks.

When he glanced over to Alec however, he looked almost like he was in pain.

“Not to pry, but is everything alright?” Magnus asked.

Alec’s eyes widened as he glanced over at Magnus. He nodded and Magnus thought that was the end of it, so when Alec blurted out, “I’m gay” Magnus was a little taken aback.

Magnus could see their apartment building and momentarily wondered if Alec had waited until they were in sight of the building to admit this confession that doesn’t surprise Magnus at all.

“Okay.”

“I know you probably had already assumed that or whatever. You don’t seem to be surprised,” Alec replied, his hand coming up to rub at the back of his head. “It’s just that I’m not really out.”

Magnus was surprised at that. Alec didn’t seem to be hiding it.

“I mean I’m not really closeted either, my family knows and Lydia knows, but aside from you I’ve never actually told anyone outside of my family,” Alec said. He was rubbing his palm with his opposite thumb as they approached the building. “It’s not really a big deal or anything I just wanted to tell you, you know, well-- because I mean, we’re friends, or whatever.”

Alec’s face was a deep red when Magnus looked up at him. Magnus entered his building code and held the door open for Alec. He followed Alec over to the elevator.

“Yes, we’re friends,” Magnus said, as he stepped onto the elevator after Alec. “Thank you for telling me. Can I ask why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you telling me? I mean I consider us friends as well Alexander, but we don’t know each other that well and despite what you just said, coming out is a big deal. No matter how many times you’ve done it before.”

“You’re right. We don’t know each other,” Alec said as the elevator dinged open. They made their way down the hallway. “But I’d like to get to know you better. That’s what friends do, right? And you told me stuff about you earlier, so I just thought I’d reciprocate.”

Alec’s shy smile was the most endearing thing Magnus had ever seen.

Magnus leaned against the wall next to his door and Alec mirrored him on the other side of the hallway.

“May I ask why you’re not out? You don’t seem to be too concerned with your sexuality. Not that it’s my place to question, don’t feel obligated to tell me.”

Alec waved his hand, brushing Magnus off. “It’s fine, really. To put it simply, the Marines aren’t exactly accepting and it just became more of a habit to hide than anything else.”

Magnus nodded, understanding coursing through him. He knew what it was like to not be accepted and to do everything you could to fit in.

They remained there in the hallway for a few more silent moments just soaking up the other’s presence. Magnus couldn’t remember ever feeling so comfortable around someone so fast.

Alec cleared his throat, rubbing his thumb against his index and middle fingers, and Magnus straightened up. “I should probably head in,” Alec said, pointing at his door. “I have brunch with the family in the morning, so I should probably get to bed.”

“Of course, I didn’t mean to keep you.”

Alec was already shaking his head. “No, Magnus. I had a really good time tonight. Thank you for inviting me. And thank you for being so kind to my family. It means a lot.” Alec’s eyes were full of a depth of emotion that Magnus rarely saw in anyone. Alec cared more about his family than he did about himself and it showed in his eyes and in the way he spoke of them.

“Of course, Alexander. They were lovely. You’re all welcome to join us any time.”

Alec smiled at him, and they both turned to unlock their doors. They both turned back once their doors were propped open.

“Good night, Magnus.”

“Good night, Alexander,” Magnus replied, watching the smile take over Alec’s face before he retreated into his own apartment.

Magnus closed his own door behind him. Chairman Meow was sitting in the middle of the floor, looking up at him with what could only be an accusatory face.

“We’re just friends, Chairman. Just friends. I promise,” Magnus informed his cat, as he collapsed back against his door.

Alexander Lightwood was definitely something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are slowly starting to get revealed. Many questions will be answered in the upcoming chapters. I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> Come chat, yell, love me @matsdaddario on tumblr! Have a lovely week!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he finally got home Monday night, _God was it still only Monday_ , Magnus was leaning against his doorway. 
> 
> “Good evening, Alexander,” Magnus greeted with far too much enthusiasm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all the thanks in the world to @sarcasticlightwood on tumblr for helping me make this better <3

After the excitement of Simon’s show and walking home with Magnus, the rest of the weekend and the first day of the week had seemed to pass at a snail’s pace.

Sunday brunch had been almost unbearable. His parents were doing their typical terrible job pretending they weren’t fighting, and the forced smiles from his mother were just making everyone else uncomfortable. His father was rarely home, flying out to as many training camps as he could manage; Alec wondered if he was still cheating on his mother. Maryse was obviously throwing herself into work; her exhaustion was almost palpable, oozing from her body and causing her usual lack of affection to skyrocket.

Alec had somehow managed to read all the manuscripts he had been assigned, but that meant cutting out sleep, which was easy thanks to his insomnia, and exchanging it for exhaustion. The little sleep he’d managed was plagued with nightmares.

Basically, Alec was exhausted and it wasn’t making him any more pleasant to be around.

When he finally got home Monday night, _God was it still only Monday_ , Magnus was leaning against his doorway.

“Good evening, Alexander,” Magnus greeted with far too much enthusiasm. It took all of Alec’s strength not to groan; he didn’t need chipper Magnus right now.

He mumbled a quick “Hey” as he fumbled with the lock on his door. His hand was a little shaky from all the caffeine he’d been ingesting, so he was having some trouble getting the _fucking_ key to behave. He slammed the palm of his hand into the door. Hard.

“Do you need help?” Magnus asked behind him. Alec hated that tone. That I’m-trying-not-to-set-you-off-more tone that people always used when he was in a bad mood.

“I’m fine, Magnus,” Alec gritted out through clenched teeth. Finally, the lock cooperated. He pushed the door open, dropping his bag on the floor, and turned back to Magnus. “What do you want?”

He hated the way Magnus’s face fell, hated that it was his fault, but at the moment he couldn’t muster the energy to deal with it. Alec just _really_ wanted to sleep.

Magnus paused, uncertainty written all over his face. “Well... Clary has an art show coming up later this week at her mom’s gallery. She asked me to pass along an invitation to you and your siblings,” Magnus said. Alec picked up on Magnus’s blunt tone and winced. “It would mean a lot to her if all of you could make it.”

Alec tried his hardest to smile but his face felt like stiff, unmoldable clay.

“Sounds great. I’ll let them know,” Alec said, before a yawn stretched its way through Alec’s body. “Listen, Magnus, I’m just …” Alec wracked his brain for a satisfactory explanation, “Really out of it right now. Can we talk more later or something?”

Magnus’s face fell once more before his expression shifted into something cooler that Alec hadn’t seen before.

“Of course. I didn’t mean to bother you, Alec. Have a good night.” Before Alec had the chance to apologize, Magnus turned and left.

Alec shrugged out of his jacket and boots and fell onto his bed, plagued with guilt and annoyance. Maybe he’d be better after he slept.

 

* * *

 

Alec decided there wasn’t a point in trying to fall back to sleep after he jerked awake from his third nightmare. He thought maybe going for a run would help his mood, so he changed into his running gear and headed toward his favorite route around the city.

The run didn’t help. Now he was even more physically exhausted, and he’d have to rush to make it to work on time.

His mood certainly didn’t improve when the sight of Magnus’s door in the hallway reminded him how much of an ass he’d been last night. Maybe it was better for Magnus to see this side of him before he was fully invested in this friendship, anyway.

Of course, his usual train was delayed. Alec realized that luck wasn’t in his favor today as he ended up taking two different trains to get to work, which in turn made him half an hour late.

He really needed to punch something.

Alec threw himself down at his desk and started working on the back cover summary of one of his manuscript assignments. It was mindless work, mostly just finding the right words and the right phrases to make the piece sound interesting. Alec welcomed the distraction.

A few hours passed before Alec was interrupted by an awkward, forced cough.

He looked up to find his boss’s assistant leaning forward, trying to catch his eye. Alec raised an eyebrow in lieu of a greeting.

“Ms. Herondale wants to talk to you,” Raj muttered, nodding his head towards her office.

Alec groaned, running his hand through his hair, then pushed back from his desk. He stood up slowly, and followed Raj to the corner office, knocking on the open door frame. Raj took a seat at his own desk outside the office.

“Come in, Mr. Lightwood,” Imogen Herondale said from behind her desk. “Have a seat.”

Alec sat in the seat she had gestured to and waited for her to finish typing something on her computer. When she she finished, she turned to him, hands together on top of her desk.

Her stare and her silence were agitating. “May I ask why I’m here, ma’am?”

“Mr. Lightwood, stop with the ‘ma’am’ business, you can call me Imogen,” she said.

Alec winced, he knew this was probably her tenth time telling him that. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“As for why you’re here…” Alec tensed; she had adopted that same I’m-trying-not-to-set-you-off-more Magnus had used the night before. “I’ve noticed you’ve been a little tense as of late and I wanted to check in with you.”

Alec froze. He’d disclosed his PTSD diagnosis when he’d first started working for the company; it was a condition of the veteran job placement program he’d used to find the job. That didn’t mean he enjoyed talking about it, especially with his boss. “I’m fine. I haven’t been sleeping well, but I’m sure it’s not affecting my work,” he admitted.

“I don’t disagree. However, we’ve observed you’ve been a bit... how should I put it, distracted the last few weeks,” she started. “While it’s not directly affecting your performance, I would advise not letting it get out of hand.”

Alec’s fists clenched under the desk. With the insomnia, the nightmares, and the occasional flashback, it was amazing that Alec was even able to drag himself into work everyday. God forbid he wasn’t paying attention to every single second of every single day.

“I know it’s difficult, but we wanted to check in and make sure that everything is okay and make sure we’re doing everything that’s best for you and this company. I just wanted to check in and make sure you’re feeling comfortable here.” Her face was sharp and pointed, making her look like a wax statue. Alec momentarily wondered if she was even real.

He knew exactly what she was thinking about. When he’d first started working for Alicante Publishing, there had been a day that someone had slammed the lid of the photocopier too hard. To Alec’s recently returned ears, it had sounded like an explosion and he’d dove under his desk in the hands of a flashback. Nothing that serious had happened since, but of course as a professional woman whose career was built into this company, Imogen wouldn’t have forgotten the risk he posed.

“Everything is fine, Imogen. I know I’ve been a bit worn down these past few weeks, but it’s all being taken care of,” Alec said, trying to relax his tense jaw. “Aside from that, is there anything work-related that you needed to speak to me about?” He kept his tone professional, but it was cold.

Imogen pursed her lips, nodding her head curtly. “Yes, actually. I wanted to let you know that I read through that manuscript you delivered to me last week - the one about the amputee vet reintegrating into society after returning from Vietnam? It was brilliant. I’d like you to work a little closer on the manuscript, and then we’ll see about setting you up with the author.”

Alec’s eyes widened a little, he hadn’t been expecting that. “You mean a promotion?” His voice sounded surprised even to his own ears.

“We’ll see,” she said, coolly, but Alec saw the corner of her mouth uptilt in an almost smile. “Now, I know you asked for a long lunch today to meet with your family.”

Alec’s heart rate picked up. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, out of habit more than anything else. He flinched at his word choice, searching her face for a moment. She shook her head, but didn’t say anything.

“I think that’s a good idea and I think you should you take the rest of the day off as well. Get some rest.”

“But---”

“No but’s, Lightwood. This has nothing to do with your performance. Please take this as a gesture of goodwill and nothing else,” Imogen interrupted. Her face said not to argue.

“Thank you,” Alec said, standing up from the chair. He reached out to shake her hand.

“You have a sharp eye for literature, Alec. We’re interested in having more minds like yours on our team. The company and myself will do whatever we can to help continue making this transition work,” she said, letting go of his hand and turning back to her computer.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Alec said, restraining an eye roll at the false enthusiasm her voice carried.

He left her office before she could correct him. Maybe a little break would do him some good.

 

* * *

 

Alec shivered as he walked through the doors of the precinct. It seemed colder than usual, but it was probably just the contrast to the warming temperatures outside.

Alec walked up to the front desk where Maureen sat rifling through papers. He gently rapped his knuckles against the counter, smiling when she looked up.

“Hey!” she greeted, smiling as she stood up and made her way around the desk. “Long time no see,” she said as he leaned over to hug her.

Alec was pretty close with everyone that worked with his siblings. When he’d first been discharged, he’d almost considered police work because it was the closest thing related to what he knew how to do. An old friend of his parents, really more of an acquaintance, worked for the department and had showed him around. When a car backfired on the ride along and Alec found himself nearly paralyzed in a flashback, they realized it was best if he stayed away from anything related to more explosions.

However, Alec still made it a priority to stop by a few times a month, taking Izzy and Jace out to lunch when they had the time.

“It’s been a busy few months,” Alec admitted as he released Maureen from the hug.

“I heard you have a new guy in your life,” she replied, a cheeky smile on her face as she walked back around the desk. She paged Jace’s desk phone to tell him that Alec was waiting.

“Izzy’s mouth is too big for her body.” Alec laughed lightly. Some of the tension he’d been feeling earlier began to melt away.

“Speaking of, do you want me to page her as well?”

“No, it’s a guy's lunch. We’re meeting Max on campus.” Once a month, the three of them tried to get together for lunch. They’d skipped a few, but finally had worked out a schedule.

“Lightwood,” a voice boomed from behind him. Alec turned toward the Captain’s office, to see Luke Garroway walking toward him.

“Captain.” Alec smiled, holding out his hand. Luke took his hand, shook it, and pulled Alec into a hug.

“Are you avoiding us, Alec?”

“That’s what I said,” Maureen said, laughing.

“No sir, I was just explaining how it’s been a busy few months,” Alec answered as he pulled away from Luke. He wasn’t much of a hugger, but somehow these people were almost as much like family as his own family was. Luke was definitely more of a father figure, and a friend, than Robert had ever been.

“You’re doing alright though?” Luke asked, a worried expression passing over his face.

“Yeah. The nightmares have been shitty lately, but I have an appointment next week. Hopefully I’ll get it straightened out,” Alec answered.

“Good man.” Luke had also been in the Army and had seen his fair share of the tragedies of war. When Alec had explained his PTSD diagnosis to him, Luke had surprised Alec by confessing that he shared the same disorder. It had been helpful in the beginning to have someone who really understood.

“Alec,” Jace called out as he joined them. “Captain.” Jace leaned against Maureen’s desk, folding his arms over his chest. “How’s it going?”

“We were just talking,” Luke said.

“I have a session next week,” Alec informed Jace, who knew exactly what he meant.

“Dude, that’s great,” Jace replied, smiling at his brother.

Luke clapped Alec on the back, smiling as well.

Alec sighed. “I’m glad I’m going. I sort of snapped at Magnus last night,” he admitted, the guilt coming full force to the front of his mind.

“What?”

“Magnus who?”

Luke and Jace spoke at the same time.

“He was waiting outside my door to tell me that Clary has an art show or something coming up. I haven’t been sleeping well and.. I don’t know, I just sort of lost it and told him we’d talk later.” Alec’s hand was fisted at the back of his head and his eyes were studiously examining a mark on the floor.

“Hold up.” Luke gestured and everyone came grinding to a halt. “How do you know Magnus and Clary?” Luke pointedly asked, to which both Alec and Jace snapped their heads to look at him.

“How do _you_ know Magnus and Clary?” Jace asked, confusion written all over his face.

“Clary Fray is my daughter. Well, step-daughter, but for all intents and purposes she’s my daughter. And Magnus Bane is like a son,” Luke answered. Alec’s head was spinning.

“What?” Jace spluttered, his face staining itself uncharacteristically red. Alec briefly wondered how far he and Clary had gone before shaking that thought out of his head as quickly as possible.

“To answer your question, Magnus is my neighbor,” Alec informed Luke.

“Oh, so you’re the Alexander he won’t shut up about. _Alexander is so lovely. Alexander is so nice. Alexander cares so much._ I swear that boy would not shut up at family dinner Sunday.”

Alec’s face flushed as the guilt grew more.

“I told you he liked you,” Jace quipped.

“First of all,” Alec held up a finger. “You did not. Second of all,” A second finger ticked up. We’re just friends. Or were, I don’t know since I was an ass.”

“Everyone has off days, Alec. I’m sure he’ll understand if you explain,” Luke said, nodding sympathetically at Alec.

Alec was so lucky to have Luke in his life.

“You should both come to the art show though. Clary is talented and my wife’s gallery is really something,” Luke said, glancing at his watch. “I should get running. You two have a good lunch. Say hi to Max for me, will ya?” he said as he backed out the door.

“Luke’s right you know. I’m sure Magnus will understand.” Jace clapped his hand against Alec’s shoulder and they headed off to meet Max.

 

* * *

 

Alec knew Jace and Luke were right; he just needed to apologize to Magnus. After a carefree and laugh-filled lunch with Max and Jace, Alec was feeling much better. He was still exhausted, but he didn’t feel so punchy.

A few hours later, he stepped into the elevator with two bags full of Chinese takeout and a plan. The obnoxious fluttering in his chest picked up when the doors opened on his floor. It was ridiculous to feel this nervous about an apology. Shaking his head to clear it, Alec forced his feet to move in the direction of Magnus’s apartment and knocked on the door.

 

* * *

 

The knock on the door came earlier than Magnus was expecting. He tied his robe a little tighter and grabbed his wallet from the kitchen table before moving to open the door.

Magnus was too busy rifling through his wallet for exact change to notice that it wasn’t his takeout that was waiting for him.

“How much do I owe you again?” Magnus asked just before raising his head to look at the delivery man. His eyes widened when he took in the sight of Alexander’s rapidly reddening face.

Confusion gave way to curiosity. “Alexander, what are you doing here?”. It occurred to Magnus that his neighbor hadn’t seen him in this state of undress since the day they met. He shifted his shoulders and wrapped his arms tightly around his own body.

“I’m sorry,” Alec blurted out. His face took on an even brighter shade of red and Magnus assumed that he’d meant to say something more eloquent.

“What ever for, darling?” Magnus asked, eyebrow raised in a perfect arch. Alec’s eyes were flitting from his hair to his eyes to the rest of his face; it made him even more aware of the fact that his hair was down from its usual perch on top of his head and he was wearing almost no makeup. He hated feeling so self-conscious. He wished Alexander wasn’t seeing him like this, wished it was just some acne-covered, gangly teenage delivery boy. He felt his feet shift under him.

“I was an ass to you yesterday,” Alec said. Magnus felt a twinge in his chest when he saw the misery written all over Alec’s face. “It’s just-- I--- I’m not-- sometimes, I just--” Alec let out a groan.

It was true; Magnus had been upset at Alexander’s snapping yesterday. It had haunted him a bit through the day as well. But as Alec stood at his door, flustered and shy, Magnus realized he had already forgiven the man. “Alexander... it’s alright.”

“It’s not alright.” Alec insisted. “Magnus, I-- I had no right to snap at you like that. You’ve-- well, you and your friends have been nothing but won-- nice since we met. I shouldn’t take out my problems on you.” Alec was staring at his feet as he talked to Magnus, but Magnus could hear the sincerity in his voice. Alec finally looked up, locking eyes with Magnus. He could see all the colors swirling in Alec’s eyes. It took Magnus’s breath away. “I’m just so sorry.”

“You’re forgiven, dear,” Magnus said, because it was true. He couldn’t stand the thought of Alec worrying about it further, but couldn’t quite bring himself to drop the incident completely. “May I ask why you were so upset? I know it’s none of my business, I just thought maybe I could help.”

Alec’s lips pursed a little as he nodded. God, this boy was going to ruin him. “I brought takeout if you want to hear the whole story.” Alec held up the two bags stuffed with white chinese cartons.

The loud ding of the elevator made them both jump, and they turned towards it to see a delivery boy carrying Magnus’s pizza in their direction.

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry. I should have called or ---” Alec was rambling again. Magnus found it endearing.

“Alexander, there’s no such thing as too much food. Please come in,” Magnus shuffled out of the way to pay for his pizza while Alec hesitantly stepped inside the apartment. When Magnus closed the door behind him, he turned around to find Alec having a staring contest with his cat. “That’s Chairman Meow,” Magnus laughed, setting the pizza on his countertop.

Alec huffed out a surprised laugh. “Chairman Meow?”

“It suits him, does it not?” Magnus asked, as he took one of the bags from Alec.

Chairman walked up to Alec, sniffed his leg, and then began to wind himself around Alec’s ankles. Magnus took the other bag of food from Alec, who proceeded to pick up the Chairman.

“It does,” he agreed, stuffing his face into the cat’s fur and smiling.

“He seems to like you, which is good considering I never befriend anyone my cat doesn’t like,” Magnus said, smiling at Alec. He turned around and started pulling the different cartons of food out. There were a _lot_ of cartons. “Were you planning on feeding an army?”

“I wasn’t sure what you liked,” Alec muttered, setting Chairman gently on the back of the couch and crossing the room to help Magnus.

Magnus paused to glance at Alexander, who was leaning with one elbow against the counter, one leg crossed over the other. Where did this sweet, thoughtful man come from?

“Well, I’m not picky, but I am starving.” Magnus grabbed two plates from his cupboard and handed one to Alec. He filled his plate full with a little of everything, hoping Alec would notice that he appreciated the variety. Besides, he hadn’t been lying; he was actually famished.

Magnus sunk down onto his couch and turned the television on. He waited for Alec to join him, with his own plate full of food.

“What do you want to watch?” Magnus asked. He figured starting with a little TV would help to relieve some of the tension that was still floating about the room.

“Um-- I’m actually not a big TV watcher, so whatever you want.” Alec shrugged as he bit into an egg roll.

Magnus’s eyes went a little wide. “How are you not a TV watcher?”

Alec shrugged again, his signature blush made another appearance. “My parents weren’t big on it and I never really had the time, anyway. Now I’m constantly reading... But I’ll watch whatever; I mean I’m not opposed to it.” Alec seemed to be talking in circles trying not to offend Magnus.

“Alexander, really. I understand. Now let’s see,” Magnus said, flipping through the channels. He landed on a FRIENDS marathon and thought that was safe enough.

They ate in silence for a while, just watching the TV. Magnus couldn’t help himself from darting his eyes over to Alec occasionally. He was beautiful and it was hard not to actively appreciate the man. The first few buttons of his work shirt were unfastened and his sleeves were rolled up to expose some well-muscled forearms. Magnus had to look away before he constructed an ode to those forearms.

They finished eating, both of them groaning a little from overstuffing themselves, and sat their plates on the coffee table.

A slightly awkward silence took over.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Magnus asked, already moving towards the bar cart he kept fully stocked.

“Water?” Alec asked. Magnus nodded. “I’m not supposed to drink on my meds,” Alec stated.

Magnus nodded again, despite the significant tension that suddenly overwhelmed him. It seemed they were getting to the serious part of this evening. He continued mixing a drink for himself and then moved to pour Alec a glass of water. He reminded himself not to push.

“I was diagnosed with PTSD when I got back from Iraq.”

Magnus handed Alec the glass of water and took his seat next to him on the couch, waiting for Alec to continue.

“I don’t like to talk about it,” Alec started, looking down at the water glass in his hand. He started picking at the hem of his shirt with the hand not holding the glass.

“Alexander.” Magnus waited until Alec lifted his eyes. “You don’t owe me any explanations.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s just ... hard.” Alec looked down again.

“We have all the time in the world,” Magnus replied, as Chairman Meow jumped onto the couch between them and curled into a tight ball. Alec absentmindedly started to stroke the cat and Magnus watched some of the tension dissipate from his shoulders.

“It’s just--- Part of the disorder is I have these nightmares. Lately they’ve been bad: like really bad, so I haven’t been sleeping.” Alec paused, sighing deeply and Magnus noticed for the first time the deep purple bruises under his eyes. He looked utterly exhausted, especially with his walls down. “Which is why I was such an ass yesterday. I’m sorry again.”

“We all have off days, Alec.”

“That’s what Luke said.” He smirked.

“Luke?” Magnus wracked his brain for a previous mention of Luke.

“Oh shit, I forgot. Yeah, Luke is Jace and Izzy’s captain. I’ve actually known him for a few years now; he knows my parents sort of. I didn’t have any idea that Clary was his daughter, though.” Alec seemed to relax a bit now that the conversation had steered off of him. “He mentioned that you were like a son to him, but I didn’t press any further.”

Magnus paused. Alec had shared something personal with him. He’d shared two prominent secrets with him actually. They were friends; it was only right that Magnus reciprocated with some of his own secrets.

“Well, like you, I don’t enjoy talking about my past too much, but since you already know Luke... I guess it can’t hurt.” Magnus took a deep breath and a sip of his drink before continuing. “Shortly after arriving in the United States, my step-father died. My mother had already passed away back in Indonesia, but those stories are both too heavy for tonight. Magnus leaned sideways against the back of the couch and massaged his temple with the hand not currently holding his glass. “I ended up in foster care and a few years went by. I think I was about twelve or thirteen when I was placed into a mentoring program with the NYPD… I may more may not have gotten myself into a few delicate situations. Luke was assigned as my mentor, and he and Jocelyn practically raised me as their own. I consider Clary as more of a sister than a friend.”

Alec’s eyes had been so intently focused on Magnus as he spoke that Magnus wasn’t sure if he should feel flattered by the attention or terrified that Alec seemed to care so much.. Either way, Magnus knew that he wouldn’t regret pouring his heart out to Alec, even if it left him with an empty one in the end.

“You couldn’t ask for a better father figure than Luke Garroway though,” Alec said lightly, complete honesty shining from his eyes.

“That’s true.” Magnus smiled at Alec, but Alec’s face had faltered. “Your father figure isn’t great?”

“My parents are...interesting,” Alec said, picking his words carefully.

“I don’t mean to pry, you don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to---”

“Magnus, I think we’ve reached the prying point of this friendship,” Alec interrupted with a soft smile on his face.

“Are they the reason you joined the marines in the first place?” Magnus tried to keep his voice gentle and supportive. It wasn’t a tone that came naturally, but it felt right with Alec.

“Yeah. Um, they grew up pretty poor, so they both chose to join ROTC as a way to pay for college. They slowly worked their way up the ranks, eventually earning high ranking, well-paying positions. Obviously they learned from a young age how to be insane savers; that and a few well timed investments and that’s how they made their fortune. My dad’s still an officer, but my mom handles security for high profile companies, which she supposedly loves. She quit the marines when they found out she was pregnant with me. Then Izzy came along, and we adopted Jace, and then Max was born... It all got to be too much for them…” Alec sighed, his eyes wide as he stared off at the TV, unseeing. He shook his head a little. “Sorry, I went a bit off track there.” Alec’s face was flushed red again, but he almost looked angry.

“Don’t apologize. It happens to us all, Alexander.” Magnus’s hand twitched with the urge to reach out and touch Alec, but he didn’t want to push, not sure how comfortable he’d be with a physical display of comfort. “May I ask how this all factors into your enlistment?”

“It was a condition our parents had in exchange for covering the cost of college. They’d pay for our schooling as long as we agreed to enlist after we graduated. It was their own ROTC program, basically.” Alec face seemed to gradually harden with each moment spent discussing his parents. “I was stationed in Iraq for four years before I was discharged. It was hell, but I guess I had always wanted to help people, protect them. I’m not even sure if that’s what we were really doing, but it felt right at the time. But it screwed up my brain just enough to where I couldn’t go back.” Alec’s smile was small and self-deprecating, like he blamed himself for not being stronger.

“May I ask one more question?” Alec nodded, so Magnus continued. “Does that mean that Max will have to enlist as well?”

“No,” Alec said, firmly. His voice had taken on a seething tone. Magnus definitely didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that anger. “I got back before Jace and Izzy because I’m older so I was there earlier and because of my discharge, but I told my parents that I wouldn’t allow Max to go through that. I couldn’t let them ship my baby brother off to fight for his life or be reduced to this.” Alec gestured to himself, defeat heavy in his eyes.

“And they agreed to that?” Magnus was surprised. He knew next to nothing about the Lightwoods, but it seemed like they weren’t the warm and fuzzy type. Or the type to listen to reason, for that matter.

“God, no.” Alec let out a huff and shifted to face Magnus on the couch. “They told me that was the deal so I told them to go to Hell. I hadn’t been diagnosed yet and I was living with a very short fuse at the time…” Magnus smirked at the wry smile that had appeared on Alec’s lips. “I told them I’d pay for Max’s college; I started saving when he was sixteen. He’s a brilliant kid and he got a lot of scholarships that help and what not, but there was no way I was letting him go to war just because of our parents’ pride. I’ll eventually be out of debt,” Alec said, laughing a little. It sounded bitter and pained.

“That’s a lot,” Magnus said. He didn’t know what to say.

“I sound a lot angrier than I am. It’s just how it is at this point.” He shrugged. “I’m just glad I found a way to protect Max.”

Magnus looked at this man sitting in front of him, this man who had become his friend so quickly, and smiled. He didn’t think he’d ever meet anyone else on this earth who cared more than Alec Lightwood.

“So Jace is adopted?” Magnus smiled as he watched a smile spread over Alec’s face.

“Oh Lord,” Alec said, before diving into the story about Jace’s adoption. “So now he’s just my brother. My dork of a brother who I’m pretty sure is in love with Clary, by the way.”

Alec laughed and Magnus saw a light in Alec’s eyes that had been missing all evening. He grinned. It was nice seeing Alec happy and it was even nicer seeing that he had fully accepted who he was and that all his feelings, no matter how complicated, mattered.

“And I’ll just warn you again: if he hurts her, I’ll end him,” Magnus tried valiantly to keep a straight face and failed miserably. Alec’s booming laugh that followed was absolutely heartwarming.

Magnus changed the channel to Chopped as they settled more fully onto the couch. Alec had taken his shoes off at some point and pulled his long legs up onto the couch; Chairman Meow was curled up on his lap.

“I can cook, you know?” Alec said out of the blue as they watched a woman fail to make an omelet.

Magnus looked over at Alec a little surprised at the random fact. “I’m going to need proof, Alexander.”

“Next time, I’ll cook.”

Magnus smiled at the easy look on Alec’s face.

When a soft snore came from the other end of the couch a few minutes later, Magnus looked over again to see Alec’s head flopping against the back of the couch. His hand was dangling off the side and his mouth was slightly open.

A sigh and a small smile escaped Magnus’s lips. He turned off the TV and grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch. He draped the blanket over Alec’s sleeping form, pausing to take in how relaxed and at peace he looked. Magnus couldn’t stop himself from gently pushing the hair back from Alec’s face. Alec stretched out more on the couch, but didn’t wake up.

Magnus made his way back to his own room to get ready for bed.

 

* * *

 

Alec shifted, waking up slowly in an unfamiliar place. He froze momentarily, before looking down at the weight on his chest. It was Magnus’s cat.

He must have drifted to sleep while watching TV with Magnus. Alec reached for his phone in his pocket and looked at the time; it was five am. He had slept through the entire night without a nightmare.

Alec slowly lifted himself into a sitting position, before gently placing Chairman Meow onto the warm spot he had just vacated. He could hear Magnus’s breathing coming from his room and didn’t want to disturb him.

He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from his bag, still by the door where he had dropped it last night.

_Magnus,_

_Thanks for listening to all my shit and letting me sleep on your couch. It was the best sleep I’ve had in awhile, so hopefully I won’t be an ass to you again. Let me know the details about Clary’s show and I’ll see you soon._

_~~Alec~~ Alexander_

He put the note on the fridge with a magnet and quickly and quietly made his way back to his own apartment.

Alec grabbed his keys and made his way down the street to the gym he often frequented. He signed out a punching bag and worked out the rest of his frustrations on the bag.

He should to talk to his parents, but that didn’t mean he would. Sleeping through the night had done wonders for his mood, but he still felt off, on edge. He didn’t know if it was his mind or his body.

Images of Magnus’s chest showing through his silk robe the night before flashed through Alec’s mind as he hit the bag over and over. No. What he needed was to get rid of these feelings he was having. Magnus was one of the most genuine and real people that Alec had ever met, and he wasn’t going to risk his friendship just because Alec needed to get laid.

When he got home, he stepped into a hot shower. The heat and the blood pumping through his veins and the fact that he’d slept on Magnus’s couch had his muscles twisted into knots. Alec groaned; the muscles in his back weren’t the only ones that were painfully hard.

Ignoring it wasn’t going to help, but taking care of it might erase the last bit of tension he was feeling. He braced himself against the shower with one hand as he took himself in the other, repeating slow but tight strokes. Soon he felt the familiar heat pooling in his stomach and with a few more twists of his wrists he was coming against his shower wall.

He ignored the guilt that crept into his mind as he realized he’d been picturing a smaller, darker hand wrapped around him.

They were just friends. That’s all he wanted, all he needed from Magnus.

 

* * *

 

Magnus texted him a few hours later, while he was sitting at his desk.

_[Magnus Bane 10:45 AM]_

_Thanks for dinner again. I’m here to listen to your shit anytime; thanks for listening to mine, too. Clary’s show is on Friday at 8 PM. We should do dinner or something before, I know Clary would love it. TTYL. xo Magnus_

_[Magnus Bane 10:52 AM]_

_Also please take some of this food back to your place. If you don’t, you’ll be greeting a very fat neighbor in the hallway next week.._

_[Alexander 10:58 AM]_

_You aren’t in danger of getting fat, Magnus._

_[Magnus Bane 11:00 AM]_

_*winky face*_

Alec stared at the emoji, his blush intensifying as he set his phone down and got back to work. Magnus Bane was certainly going to make Alec’s life a hell of a lot more interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what y'all are thinking and come talk with me on tumblr @matsdaddario <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec had no fucking idea what to wear to an art show. Which is why at 6:30 on Friday night, he opened his door to a bemused Magnus. 
> 
> “It’s not funny,” Alec said huffing out a laugh, holding a shirt in one hand and a tie in the other. 
> 
> Magnus didn’t respond and it took a moment for Alec to realize that Magnus was staring at his chest, his very bare, very scarred chest. Alec shifted, moving the shirt to dangle in front of his naked torso, coughing a little.

Alec had no fucking idea what to wear to an art show. Which is why at 6:30 on Friday night, he opened his door to a bemused Magnus.

“It’s not funny,” Alec said huffing out a laugh, holding a shirt in one hand and a tie in the other.

Magnus didn’t respond and it took a moment for Alec to realize that Magnus was staring at his chest, his very bare, very scarred chest. Alec shifted, moving the shirt to dangle in front of his naked torso, coughing a little.

The first time Magnus had seen him shirtless, he’d been a good distance away and Alec had been distracted by Izzy almost burning down his apartment. But now, now Alec could feel the self-hatred eating away at the back of his mind as he thought about the maze of scars that littered his torso. Magnus staring at him definitely wasn’t helping.

Magnus shook his head, his eyes blinking as he focused his attention back on Alec’s face not his chest. Alec wondered why he looked distracted as opposed to repulsed; Magnus must just be that good at hiding his real emotions. Alec had seen it before.

“Okay, I’m back,” Magnus said, even his voice holding a note of distraction. He looked from Alec’s eyes to the shirt Alec was holding in his hand. “And you’ve texted me fifteen times in the last ten minutes, Alexander. It is indeed funny.”

“Come on, Magnus. I’m not...well, I’m not exactly good with clothes,” Alec said, waving his hand holding the tie vaguely off to the side. He could feel his face heating up. “And I just thought---I mean that’s kind of your _thing_.” Holding the shirt and the tie in each hand, he had to resist the urge to knead at his palm, hands clenching a little around the fabric.

“It’s alright Alec, I understand. Now what do we have to work with?”

Magnus followed Alec to his room, where every decent thing that Alec had to wear was piled on top of his plain black comforter.

“Alexander, really. What is your obsession with black and what has color ever done to you?” Magnus asked, looking absolutely aghast at the pile of black clothing.

“I like things simple,” Alec mumbled, throwing the shirt he was holding onto the pile of clothes.

“Well, I’m sure there’s something I can work with here,” Magnus said, before rifling through the pile.

Alec was suddenly distracted by thoughts of other things that would have Magnus so close to his bed. He shut down that train of thought, turning towards his still opened closet, before any tell-tale signs made themselves known.

“Aha! This should do. Put this on.” Magnus was holding a dark blue button up shirt towards him. Alec took the shirt, shrugging it on and buttoning it up. When Alec looked back up, Magnus seemed to be keeping his eyes firmly on the tie he was still holding. He probably was disgusted by Alec’s mauled body. Alec made a noise in the back of his throat, causing Magnus to look back up at him. “Now this,” Magnus said, but instead of handing Alec the thin black tie, he walked up to Alec and slung it around his neck. Alec tensed as he felt Magnus’s breath skirt across the front of his neck.

“I know how to tie a tie, Magnus,” Alec mumbled.

Magnus cleared his throat, looking fixedly at his hands as they worked Alec’s tie. “I’m not sure if I believe that, Alexander. You’re a twenty-eight year old man who can’t even pick out his own clothes,” Magnus replied. His voice sounded almost far-off, quieter than Alec had ever heard it, like he was still distracted by something, but Alec couldn’t understand what.

Alec’s eyes dropped to Magnus’s face. He was so close. The deep purple eyeliner framed his eyes perfectly, fanning out at the corners in an intricate pattern that somehow highlighted both the rich, shining brown of his eyes and the silver of his eyeshadow. Magnus’s eyes were downcast as they looked at Alec’s tie, but Alec could still make out the flecks of light-brown, almost bronze, sparkling in them. Alec let his eyes drop further down Magnus’s face, taking in his full, pink lips. His mouth was parted slightly and Alec could tell that he was wearing a light gloss. He looked beautiful.

Magnus’s smirk from his earlier comment fell the longer Alec stared at him. Magnus’s hands slowly tightened Alec’s tie, before almost subconsciously dragging down the front of Alec’s shirt. He coughed, shaking his head a little, and, awkwardly patting Alec on the chest, stepped back.

“Perfect,” he said, taking in Alec’s newly dressed state. His voice was rougher than Alec had ever heard, causing Alec’s face to flush. Alec moved his hand to the back of his hair, rubbing absentmindedly.

Magnus glanced up, meeting Alec’s eye and Alec felt his heart stop momentarily before picking up speed. His own eyes widened at the soft look on Magnus’s face, because he couldn’t understand it. He looked slightly dazed, but proud at the same time. Alec couldn’t make sense of it, so he cleared his throat, before blinking and looking away.

“Thank you,” Alec mumbled.

“Anything for a friend, dear. Now, I believe that Clary and your brother, for some reason, are waiting for us at the restaurant,” Magnus said clapping his hands together as he made his way out of Alec’s bedroom.

Alec waited a moment, taking a few deep breaths, before following Magnus out of his room. He grabbed his leather jacket, which was slung over one of the dining chairs, and shrugged it on.

He wasn’t sure why he had even been invited to dinner if he was being honest with himself. It sounded like a family dinner with Clary’s mom, Luke, and Magnus. But then again, Clary had also invited Jace to tag along, so maybe it wasn’t that weird.

While Alec waited, Magnus moved back to his apartment to grab his own jacket.

“Ready?” Magnus asked, stepping back outside his apartment in a dark grey coat that looked like it was made for summer. Of course, Magnus would have jackets for every season whereas Alec just had one leather jacket and one winter jacket.

Alec nodded and followed Magnus as he lead the way to the restaurant. They took the subway to the restaurant, which was conveniently located near Clary’s mom’s gallery. They would walk to the gallery after dinner.

The train ride was busy and they were pressed together by the crowd of people around them. Alec had to stop himself from shivering whenever Magnus’s breath ghosted over his neck.

When the train pulled up to their stop, Alec rushed off as quickly as he could, needing a moment to get himself under control after being pressed so close to Magnus. When he got to the stairs leading above ground, Alec waited; it took Magnus a minute to catch up with him, but once he did they made their way to the restaurant a bit awkwardly.

Magnus seemed to be putting an unnecessary and impractical amount of distance between them as they made their way down the crowded Brooklyn sidewalk. Alec kept glancing over, wondering if he’d made Magnus uncomfortable with their proximity on the train. Once, when he looked over, he caught Magnus’s eye, flushing deeply, and quickly looking away.

The tension that had sprang up around them immediately melted away as they walked into the restaurant and saw Jace sitting at a table with Clary, Luke, and a woman who Alec assumed to be Clary’s mom.

Jace was staring straight ahead as Clary and her mother talked animatedly while Luke teasingly glared at Jace. Alec couldn’t stop himself from laughing as he and a smirking Magnus made their way to the table.

“Magnus! Alec!” Clary greeted them enthusiastically as she stood up from the table, giving them both hugs. Alec was a little stunned at the intimate gesture, but brushed it off.

“Alec,” Luke greeted, standing up from the table to shake Alec’s hand and clap him on the shoulder.

“Hey, Luke,” Alec said, as Luke released him, and moved over to Magnus.

“Magnus,” Luke said, pulling Magnus into a hug.

“So this is the famous Alexander,” Clary’s mom said as she stood up from the table, offering her hand to Alec. “I’m Jocelyn Fray. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Alec blushed, shaking her hand. “Only good things, I hope. Please call me Alec.”

“Only the best things, I assure you,” Jocelyn replied and then sat back down.

Alec noticed Magnus glaring slightly at Jocelyn.

Alec worked his way over to the chair next to Jace, clapping his brother on the back, before sitting down. “How’s it going?” he whispered.

“I didn’t know the Captain was going to be here,” Jace bit back.

“He is her father,” Alec pointed out, as he took a sip from the water the waitress had poured him.

“I mean I figured he’d be at the actual gallery, but Clary conveniently forgot to mention they’d be at dinner,” Jace said, looking nervously at Alec.

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Alec said, trying to be reassure Jace. Alec couldn’t help but smile at his brother’s obvious discomfort. It was nice seeing Jace feeling awkward, for once. Alec rolled his eyes at Magnus across the table, gesturing with a tilt of his head between Jace and Clary. Magnus obviously understood the sentiment as he broke out into a grin of his own.

They settled in and ordered their dinner, Clary talking excitedly about the show. After a while, Jocelyn turned to Alec.

“So, Alec, what do you do?” She asked in a lowered voice, only meant for his ears. She was sitting on his other side, at the opposite head of the table from Luke, so Alec angled his body towards her.

Her tone was genuine and friendly like she was actually interested in him and not just questioning his life choices. His parents could definitely take a hint from Luke and Jocelyn.

“Actually, I work in publishing. I’m currently an assistant editor, but my boss thinks there might be a promotion in my future.”

“That’s really interesting. How’d you get into that?”

Alec looked at Luke on the other side of the table, who seemed to be listening to their conversation over Clary and Magnus’s chatter. Alec’s eyes asked how much Jocelyn knew. Luke understood and nodded; Alec relaxed a little.

“I majored in comparative lit in college and when I saw the job listed on a vet job placement ad I went for it. It’s been a pretty good fit.”

“Oh, that’s right - you were in the Marines with Jace. Come to think of it, I knew your parents,” Jocelyn said as their food arrived. Alec felt his curiosity peak.

“How do you know our parents?” Alec asked, a little louder than they’d previously been talking.

“Mom was in the army with Luke,” Clary supplied, as the attention turned onto their conversation.

“Yeah, we all actually did some training together when we were still fresh cadets. It’s been ages since I’ve seen or heard from them, though,” Jocelyn said.

“They’re quite busy,” Jace piped up from Alec’s side. He’d been quiet for most of the evening.

Alec shot a look at Jace. He’d always been more lenient with their parents, feeling a sense of obligation towards them.

“Oh of course,” Jocelyn said. Alec detected a tone to her voice; but he couldn’t make sense of it.

The conversation lulled into a semi-comfortable silence as they all started to eat. Alec glanced at Magnus who was talking to Clary. The two of them had a natural sibling-like banter between them that Alec was surprised he hadn’t picked up on before. He felt his heart warm a little. When his foot accidentally brushed over Magnus’s, Magnus turned to look at him quickly, to which Alec blushed and looked away.

Alec turned to Jace who was smiling, seemingly without realizing it, at Clary as she pushed a lock of red hair back behind her shoulder so it wouldn’t fall on her plate.

“So are you two actually dating?” Alec asked, louder than he meant to.

Jace spluttered, choking on his food and Alec clapped him on the back. Magnus smirked at him across the table, but Alec just rolled his eyes in response.

“Um we---we haven’t---I mean, of course I---” Alec had never seen Jace struggle to get his words out. Or seen Jace’s face such a vibrant shade of red. It brought a bigger smile to his face than it probably should have.

“What was that Officer?” Luke asked from the head of the table. Luke’s face appeared stern at first glance, but with further consideration Alec could tell he was trying hard not to smirk.

“I---I mean…”

“We’ve only been out a few times. He’s just here for support like the rest of you. Leave him alone you guys,” Clary said shaking her head goodnaturedly. A huge smile was plastered on her face as well and Alec actually laughed at the look on his brother’s face. He looked like he’d just been dragged through hell and then saved by an angel. He was ridiculous.

“Yeah Luke, leave the boy alone,” Jocelyn piped up, but Alec could see that she too was trying not to laugh.

Jace muttered something to himself.

“What was that blondie?” Magnus asked.

“I said we should probably get going. It would be bad for the person hosting the show to be late, right?”

Alec rolled his eyes. His brother was ridiculous. Magnus caught his eye across the table and Alec couldn’t help himself from breaking out into another grin.

“You’re right! We should go,” Clary agreed. She was practically bouncing in her seat; Alec wondered if it was from excitement or nerves or both. He could relate.

Luke paid the bill, after a bit of arguing between them, and they made their way to Clary’s art show.

* * *

Magnus was well aware of Clary’s artistic talents; she’d been gifted as long as he’d known her. She had clearly inherited her mother’s natural abilities...but seeing people who had never seen her work admire it was something else.

Jace’s eyes lit up as they walked in a group around the gallery taking in each piece. Isabelle and Lydia lost themselves in conversations about each piece arms linked together. Simon and Raphael who had seen Clary’s work before were equally captivated.

But Alec’s reaction drew his attention like he was magnetized. It was as if he’d never seen art before, like he was experiencing something completely new and couldn’t get enough. He had fallen behind their little group as they walked between exhibits and people. Magnus backtracked to find him, sidling up beside him.

“She’s really good,” Alec said quietly, as he noticed Magnus’s presence.

“That she is. I once told her that the only person better was Michelangelo, and of course her mother.” A smile tugged at Magnus’s lips as he glanced away from Alec’s face to take in the art in front of them. It was a landscape, something Clary only rarely worked with, but it was a familiar landscape to him. The meadow of sorts tucked into a far corner of Central Park had been a getaway for them as young teenagers. Clary had captured it on a perfect autumn day and he felt as if he were there. She was extremely talented.

Magnus glanced up at Alec’s face again and he was staring at the painting, eyes wide and lips parted. He looked wondrous, enchanting, almost like he was meant to be a part of the painting itself.

Alec tilted his head down to look at Magnus an amused expression in his eyes. It took a second for Magnus to remember what he’d said.

“Okay, perhaps I may have exaggerated a tad, but you cannot deny the girl has talent,” Magnus said, smiling up at Alec. Alexander’s eyes practically glowed in the soft light of the gallery. Magnus could get lost in those eyes for the rest of his life and be perfectly content.

“It’s really spectacular,” Alec said, turning back towards the painting he was looking at. Magnus followed Alec to the next painting, but almost crashed into him when Alec abruptly froze.

Clary had done a series on her parents, showcasing their lives from jobs to children to everything in between, including their time in the army.

In this piece, the faces of Luke and Jocelyn were strained, sharp, eyes lost as they stared out from the painting at an unseeable demon. They looked older than they did now, even though Magnus could tell they were younger here. Clary had perfectly captured the horrors of war simply on their faces. The edges of their faces bled into the torn American flag of the background.

The next featured an American flagged cinged around the edges wrapped around someone, Jocelyn probably from the long hair draped over the back, whose back was towards the viewer. Her shoulders sat hunched, rolled inwards like she was protecting herself as she held onto a rifle that you could only see the top of. Around her, fire and darkness seemed to be seeping everywhere. Her last shred of hope burning away as she hunkered down, trying to protect what she knew, all that she had left.

The third and final painting in the series depicted Luke and Jocelyn embracing each other in a tight hug, clinging together with all the strength they could muster. You could see the taunt pull of their muscles under the uniforms they were wearing, guns hanging behind their backs. Just the sides of their faces were showing, but Clary had managed to capture the fear and horror and almost numb state of their faces as they watched the buildings in the background burn. The familiarity between the two of them, like they were comforted just by the other’s presence was almost palpable.

Magnus, who had seen these all before, felt a stab of pain in the middle of his own chest.

He’d been forced to stay up late with Clary on some nights over the last few months as she worked herself to the core of her emotions trying to get everything just right. He’d heard her over family dinner as she questioned her parents wanting to make sure she understood everything they went through, even when they didn’t want to tell her at times.

When everything had been finished and they were setting up the gallery for the show, Magnus watched as Clary, Luke, and Jocelyn hung these pieces quietly and unified. It had brought them closer together and everyone who had helped set up the show knew that they needed their time as a family to process and make sure everything was perfect.

The images were undeniably beautiful, but the rigid form of Alec’s body worried him. Magnus hesitantly held out a hand, hovering slightly over Alec’s shoulder. Alec gave an almost imperceptible nod. He laid his hand on Alec’s shoulder, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth against the soft material of Alec’s shirt. Magnus wasn’t sure if it was comforting, but the way Alec seemed to lean into it ever so slightly was assuring.

When Magnus looked up at Alec’s face, he could see the struggle there. Alec usually hid his emotions well, Magnus had noticed this over the last couple of months, but right now Alec’s face was a slideshow of everything he was feeling. He could see the pain, the absolute distressing pain of memories floating back to Alec’s mind, but that was coupled with a look of awe as his eyes flitted over every inch of every painting. His eyes were still wide, but they had lost their almost puppy-like innocence and had shifted into something harder and glassier. Magnus increased the pressure of his hand on Alec’s shoulder, not knowing what else to do. He felt helpless and guilty at not having warned Alec about these images. What kind of friend was he?

“We can move to another part of the gallery, Alexander,” Magnus whispered.

Alec shook his head. “I’m fine. It’s---I just---I feel what they’re feeling,” Alec said, his hand twitching where it was resting beside his leg. “I---I mean---that’s been--I’ve been there,” Alec swallowed, and Magnus’s eyes followed his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. Alec turned to face Magnus, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “She’s brilliant.”

Magnus smiled softly at Alec, not moving his hand away from Alec’s shoulder.

Jace and Izzy and the rest of them had circled around the other way and came over to stand next to them. The Lightwood siblings each let out an audible gasp, before coming to stand by Alec’s other shoulder.

“Alec, you don’t have to look at these,” Isabelle said, softly, running her hand along Alec’s other shoulder.

“I’m fine, Izzy,” Alec said. But his fist was clenched almost as if he was working through different stages of emotions all contained within his body; it matched his face perfectly.

As they stood their staring at the paintings and watching Alec’s reactions as he couldn’t look away, Clary strided over to them, her heels clicking against the floor. Alec jumped, looking away from the paintings at Magnus. Magnus wasn’t sure what the expression on his face meant, but it had him slightly worried.

“Hey, sorry I haven’t been over to see you guys lately. What do you think about everything?” She looked so happy, so hopeful, her eyes shining brightly with a smile plastered on her face. Magnus watched Isabelle and Jace share a look and out of the corner of his eye saw Alec unclench his fists.

“You’re incredibly talented, Clary,” Alec said, his jaw tight. He turned to look at Clary, but seemed to be having a hard time meeting her eye and keeping the rest of his face neutral. “I’m going to step out for some air. I’ll be right back.” Before anyone could say anything else, he turned to walk out the back door of the gallery, everyone watching as he went.

“Is Alec okay?” Luke asked as he and Jocelyn walked up, his arm around her waist, watching Alec leave.

“I think these set him off,” Jace replied, gesturing to the paintings behind them.

“Shit,” Clary cursed, the smile falling off her face as she looked at the paintings. “I didn’t even think...I should go apologize...” Clary turned her head to look at the door where Alec had disappeared..

“Biscuit, it’s not your fault; he said they were beautiful. I think they just hit a little too close to home,” Magnus assured her.

“They are beautiful, hon. You’re just a little too good at bringing some things to life,” Jocelyn said with a proud smile, but Magnus noticed a haunted look in her eyes as well.

“I should have warned you guys - I didn’t even think! I can’t believe I was so stupid,” Clary berated herself.

“Clary, please don’t beat yourself up. Alec’s just going through a tough time. These are so incredibly moving. Trust us,” Jace said, moving to wrap an arm around Clary’s waist. Magnus had to think that maybe Jace wasn’t so bad after all.

Clary smiled shyly at Jace. “Really?”

Jace nodded his approval and Magnus shifted his attention back to the paintings for a moment, before sharing a look with Isabelle.

“I’m going to go check on Alexander,” Magnus informed everyone before he made his way out the back door of the gallery where Alec had wandered off.

* * *

When Magnus stepped into the alley that the back door led to, he wasn’t sure what he expected. But Alexander leaning against the wall with his hand covered in blood definitely wasn’t it.

The door slammed shut behind him and Alec’s eyes sprang up to meet his. He looked so lost.

“I’m so sorry,” Alec said, voice betraying his exhaustion.

“Alexander, what happened?” Magnus asked, walking over to Alec and stopping in front of him. “May I?” he asked, holding out his hand to take Alec’s bruising one into his own.

Alec gave his hand freely, squeezing his eyes shut and leaning his head back against the brick wall behind him. “I don’t want to be like _this_. It’s just a fucking painting. I should be able to handle it, but God, Magnus, I’m so angry! I’m angry at them for making us do this. I’m angry at everything that happened to make me... _this_.” He gestured wildly over his body with his free hand.

Magnus took off the scarf that was loosely wrapped around his neck, wrapping it slowly around Alec’s bleeding knuckles.

“I don’t see anything wrong with the man standing in front of me, Alexander.” At Alec’s scoff, Magnus continued, “Maybe you are a little broken, but that doesn’t make you a bad person. Look at you?” Magnus looked up into Alec’s face, not letting go of his hand. “Do you know what I see when I look at you? I see one of the strongest men I’ve ever met…” Alec’s mouth opened, as if he were about to protest, but Magnus didn’t let him. “Don’t argue with me. You’ve been through hell and back and yet you are still standing here. You’ve given up almost your whole life to protect your little brother. You have two other siblings who would give their lives for you. And you have amazing friends who care very much about you.” Magnus paused, swallowing and looking down at their hands still clasped together. He moved to gently wrap his other hand around Alec’s injured one. When he started talking again, his voice was noticeably rougher. “So yeah, you might be a little broken, but there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay to feel like shit after everything you’ve been through, but that doesn’t make you any less amazing. If anything, everything you’ve been through has made you that much more incredible.” Magnus raised his eyes to meet Alec’s once again, realizing how close they were standing. Alec collapsed and buried his face into Magnus’s neck; Magnus didn’t think twice about wrapping his arms around Alec’s shaking form.

He held Alec as he cried against his shoulder. They stayed in the alley like that for a few minutes until Alexander’s breathing evened out and he stopped crying, pulling away from Magnus’s neck.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Alec said, wiping at his face. “I ruined your shirt.”

“I can always make another,” Magnus said a little teasingly attempting to lighten the mood. He lowered his voice again, before asking, “Are you going to be okay?”

Alec nodded, but he didn’t look certain. “I have a therapy session scheduled for next week, so we’ll see after that.”

Magnus nodded. His arms were still loosely around Alec, but neither of them seemed to be eager to pull away. Magnus felt at home wrapped in Alexander’s arms, but he knew that he shouldn’t feel that way. Even if the heat radiating off of Alec’s body comforted Magnus in a way he hadn’t been comforted in a long time, he knew it was wrong to stay this close to someone who only wanted to be his friend. So finally after a few more minutes, Magnus cleared his throat quietly, slowly pulling his arms back to himself. “We should probably get back inside.”

“Yeah,” was all Alec said before he followed Magnus back inside.

They found the rest of their group in a back corner whispering and as they approached the rest of the group looked up, Clary’s face took on a worried expression. They all straightened up as they saw Alec and Magnus walking over.

“Alec, I’m so sorry,” Clary said, a genuine note to her voice.

“For what?” Alec look genuinely confused as to why Clary would be apologizing.

“I should have warned you or something. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Hey, you’re extremely talented, Clary. You shouldn’t apologize for that, I’m going to be fine.” Alec gave her a soft and genuine smile, which seemed to visibly relax her.

“You sure you’re good, buddy?” Jace asked, working his arm more fully around Clary’s waist, holding her to him.

Alec looked at Magnus and Magnus’s breath caught a little in his throat at the look of complete vulnerability that he saw there. Alec was giving up the tough guy charade, at least for the moment, and accepting his friends fully into his life.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Alec said.

“We should get drinks,” Clary said, clapping her hands together.

Magnus looked towards Alec again and was about to make an excuse to get him out of it, when Isabelle piped up.

“Clary, this was so fun, but Lydia and I were thinking of heading home. Alec, do you want to walk us?”

Alec’s face visibly relaxed as he looked at his sister with pure adoration. “Yeah, I can do that. Sorry, guys, I’m getting tired anyway. You should go though; you deserve the celebration.”

Alec caught Magnus’s eye and smiled, nodding a little as if to say he’d be fine and Magnus shouldn’t worry.

The gallery was quickly emptying as the hour got later. Clary and Jocelyn thanked everyone for coming, before shooing the rest of the people out, and locking up the door.

Luke and Jocelyn left, saying goodnight and thanking everyone for coming, as Alec, Isabelle, and Lydia made their way to the nearest subway station. The rest of them made their way to the nearest bar, but Magnus’s thoughts were filled with Alexander the rest of the night.

* * *

Wednesday came around and Alec’s whole body was tense. He hated going to therapy, especially after not going for so long. He hated talking about himself, his problems, literally anything that brought the attention to him. He was used to staying the background, acting as a protector, but staying out of the spotlight. That’s how he’d always been.

But Alec knew he had to do this. He needed to get these goddamn nightmares to stop. He needed to sleep.

So when he left the office at five instead of heading back to Brooklyn, he headed Uptown. He wasn’t looking forward to discussing his almost-flashback with Doctor Rollins who he’d been seeing off and on for the last couple years, but deep down he knew that this was the best thing for him.

As he was stepping off the train, he rammed his hand into another passenger, and biting back a yelp of pain he apologized as he made his way above ground, holding his bruising hand in his other hand. He hated thinking about how he’d lost control the other night, but the thought of Magnus’s arms wrapped around his body did wonders to calm his frenzied mind. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he stepped through the door of the VA clinic.

“Alec,” Dorothea Rollins called as the door to her office opened.

Alec shyly smiled at her as he stood up, greeting her, and followed her back to her office. He sat across from her on the couch she indicated and took in the familiar scent of peppermint lofting in the air. He grabbed one of the dozens of pillows scattered on the couch and placed it in his lap, already toying with a loose string.

“So Alec, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you,” she stated matter of factly, but Alec winced a bit, feeling guilty at what seemed like an accusation.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just---I thought that I was better,” Alec confessed in a small voice. It sounded ridiculous to say it outloud, especially because he knew he’d never be “better.”

“I know it’s difficult, Alec, but remember what I told you last time. All of your symptoms are things we can work on, but you have to continue to put the work it. I know it’s hard, but it’ll feel so much better when you have all the skills to work through each symptom. Now why do you think you’ve been feeling better?” Dot asked, opening her notes to jot a few things down.

Alec sighed, before he began talking. “I don’t know. I mean until recently, I haven’t been having frequent nightmares and I haven’t had any flashbacks. My emotions are somewhat under control. Then it just all started again.”

Dot made a noise of understanding in the back of her throat, before jotting down a note on her paper. “Okay, so the nightmares have started again, do you remember how long it’s been?”

“I’ve been having them since I got back, but for a while it was only like once a month or less. But recently, maybe the past six weeks or so, it’s been almost every night.” He knew they had started up again right before he met Magnus and they’d met almost seven weeks ago. _God, had it really only been seven weeks._ He felt the corner of his mouth tug up a little at just the thought of Magnus.

“That smile, what was that about?” Dot asked, and Alec immediately wished he had a less observant therapist.

“Nothing,” Alec said. She looked at him, a look on her face that always had him confessing. “I... met a guy,” Alec confessed, and at the look on her face he amended, “We’re just friends. It’s nothing like that.”

“When did you meet this friend?”

“About seven weeks ago.” Saying it out loud made him feel almost like a stalker, like maybe not everyone who met a new friend counted the weeks that they’d known them.

“Does he know about you?”

“What the PTSD thing, or the gay thing?” Alec asked, defensively. He felt some of his walls going up. He had come out to Dot during their third session and sometimes he wondered if he should have just lied about it, but a large part of the issues he’d been suppressing stemmed from him hiding who he was for most of his life.

“Alec, no one is judging you here, remember that,” Dot said, voice soothing.

“Sorry.” Alec sank back into the couch a little more. “For the record, he knows about both. We had a talk last week about the PTSD thing after I snapped at him.” His voice grew quieter as he thought back on snapping at Magnus; he still felt a little guilty at that.

“Did you feel obligated to tell him?”

“No. I wanted to,” Alec said, realizing that he meant it. It hadn’t just been about apologizing to Magnus; he actually wanted Magnus to know everything about him. He felt his face flush a little at the realization that he wanted to share everything with Magnus.

“That’s good - that shows growth, Alec. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.” She scribbled another note on her paper, ignoring the bright color that Alec could feel on his own cheeks. “So the nightmares. Are they the same or have they changed?”

“They’re the same, always about that day. Except, more often than not, Max is the one that I can’t save,” Alec said. Alec flinched as the images of his recurring nightmares started solidifying in his mind; this was why he avoided talking about them.

“Have you talked to anyone about the nightmares? I mean besides me. Your parents or your siblings?”

“I mean they know I have them, but no--I don’t--I don’t want to burden them with that.” He rubbed the palm of his right hand with his left thumb.

“Alec, you aren’t a burden. It’s not your fault that you have these thoughts.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to lay all my problems on them,” Alec snapped. She had tried to get him to talk out his nightmares before and he still felt the same disdain toward the idea.

“Okay, so the nightmares have increased. Is there a reason that you can think of why that might be?” Her voice was soft, but Alec couldn’t look her in the eye.

Alec shook his head, looking down at his lap.

“Have you been more stressed lately?”

When Alec had first started coming to see Dot, she’d tried to let him lead the conversation, but Alec, being closed off the majority of the time to people he wasn’t comfortable with, had spent a few sessions mostly in silence, and they had learned to work with a more basic question and answer style unless Alec felt particularly chatty.

Alec thought about her question and then thought about work and his finances and Max’s tuition. He nodded, looking up from his lap. Her face was soft, but he could see the tight line of her jaw; her mouth was pulled into a small smile, but her eyes were hard. He could see the way her brain worked just from glancing at her. She reminded him a lot of Magnus the more he thought about it.

“Last time you were in, we worked on a few stress exercises. How have those been going?” she asked, but the tone of her voice made it seem like she already knew the answer.

Alec shook his head again. “I’ve been busy,” he mumbled, a lame excuse even to his own ears. It was just so hard to calm down sometimes, even just enough to work on small things.

“Okay, well I’m going to give you another sheet with some at home things you can try. It might help.” Dot’s voice was unwavering. She wasn’t angry that he didn’t do what she suggested, he knew that much, but he could see that she was concerned. “Is there anything else? You said it’s been awhile since you had a flashback.”

“Yeah, I haven’t had one since the last time I was here.” Alec paused, taking a deep breath. “But I almost had one over the weekend.”

“Tell me about it.”

Alec sighed and began talking about the night of Clary’s art show. He explained how Clary’s parents had been in the army and how they even knew his parents, at which point she jotted down a few notes. He then went into describing how Clary had done a series about their time in the army and how those paintings had pushed him almost over the edge.

“It just felt like I was there all over again. My heart rate picked up and the images started morphing into images of things I’d seen. It was too much; I couldn’t take it,” Alec said, his voice sounded like he’d just finished a run.

“And what did you do then?” she asked, writing a few things down in her notes, before she looked back up at him.

“I made an excuse and went outside. I could feel that feeling, the one where I know I’m about to go into a flashback. Sometimes I can’t recognize it on time, but for some reason that time I did. I needed to get out the frustration, the anger, whatever, so…” He held up his bruised hand. “I punched a brick wall.”

“Okay so that’s good that you recognized the symptoms, Alec. That means that you’re becoming more aware and that’s a really good place to be at, but we, and you mostly, have to work on this almost self-destructive instinct you have,” she said, voice less soothing, but not angry. Alec still wasn’t used to not being yelled at when he did something he knew was wrong. “So, did anything else happen after that?”

“Then Magnus found me,” Alec said. His voice took on a lighter tone at the use of Magnus’s name.

“And Magnus is the new friend?” Alec nodded. “How did it feel when he found you?”

Alec thought back on how Magnus had held him and let him cry and told him what he meant. “It felt like someone cared.” Alec didn’t even realize he felt otherwise about anyone else.

“Do you think your family doesn’t care?” She looked at him, a concerned expression on her face.

“Not it’s not that, I know Izzy and Jace and Max do. But it feels like they are used to it at this point.” She looked at him, not saying anything and just waiting to see if he would talk more. “I don’t know I feel like it’s old news to them. ‘Oh Alec had another episode, what else is new?’ I know they care, but Magnus---” Alec didn’t know how to describe it, so he just stopped talking.

“So you want someone to care?”

Alec’s eyes narrowed. “It’s not that I need attention,” Alec replied, quickly. “I just---it feels like--- I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.”

“I think it does matter, Alec. Why do you think you care so much what Magnus thinks about you?”

“He’s my friend.”

“Is that all you want him to be?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want. He just sees me as a friend.”

Dot nodded and scribbled some more notes onto her paper. Alec wondered how much longer he could lie to himself.

“So you want someone who you know cares about you?” Dot questioned.

Alec didn’t like the way she said that. “I don’t think that my siblings don’t care and I don’t mean that --- that they are used to it or whatever. I know it worries them when I have the nightmares and the flashbacks and Izzy and Jace understand better than anyone. I just --- I just want someone who is there for me because they want to be --- not because they have to.”

“How do you mean you want someone there? Do you mean just like this new friend, Magnus, or do you want something more?”

“I don’t know if I’m comfortable with answering that,” Alec countered.

“Alec, I’m not judging you. I just want you to understand your own feelings.”

Alec took a deep breath. He closed his eyes, rubbing his temples with his middle and pointer fingers. “I’m fine with just having friends. It’s nice having some new people in my life. I don’t deserve anything more anyway.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because it’d be unfair to burden someone else with this,” Alec said, waving his hand over himself. “I can’t expect someone to permanently take on my issues. I’m not worth that.”

“Now why aren’t you worth that? Everyone deserves to have love if that’s what they want.” Dot was staring at him now; she’d ceased taking notes it appeared for the moment.

“I’ve read stuff about people with PTSD trying to have relationships and it doesn’t work. It’s too much for the partner and more often than not they end up leaving or being made to leave. I don’t want to go through something like that only to have it not work out.”

“Didn’t you tell me once that you had a friend that shares your diagnosis who is married?”

“Luke?”

Dot nodded.

“Yeah, but that’s rare. They knew each other before anyway. It’s not like---not like I have that.”

“Okay so let’s forget about a long term relationship for a moment. What about dating? Is that not something you’re interested in?”

“Are you supposed to ask me these kinds of questions?”

“Alec, you’re here to try to figure out how to live your life meaningfully with your diagnosis. If it makes you that uncomfortable, we can deal with these issues later or never, but it might be something you want to think about. Even if it’s on your own. Everyone deserves love if that’s what they want.”

“I have love,” Alec defended. He did. He had his siblings and that was enough for him. It had to be enough for him. Dot’s chimes on her phone started going off signaling the end of their session.

“Okay, Alec, let’s talk about switching up your medication and some things you can do to try working out these feelings until the next time I see you,” Dot said, scribbling a few more notes on her pad.

* * *

Alec made his way back home, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Dot’s questions. Alec had never been a dating kind of guy, mostly because he’d been closeted until after he came home from war and he hadn’t had time to date since.

He didn’t think he was interested in dating though. He wanted someone in his life who could make him laugh and comfort him and just be there to listen. Who would help him with stupid things like cooking and clothes, like Magnus had done.

As he stepped into the elevator of his building, flashes of the last few weeks with Magnus shifted through his head. He tried to turn them off as the elevator started rising, but as he remembered the comfort of Magnus’s arms, the only decent sleep he’d had recently on Magnus’s couch, Magnus cooking for him and helping him pick out an outfit, Alec realized, not for the first time, that he wanted Magnus. He wanted him as more than a friend even if he didn’t think he deserved it. Maybe it wasn’t about what he deserved or the burden he’d place on someone else. Maybe it was about allowing himself to be happy, even if it went against everything he wanted to believe about himself.

But would Magnus even want him? Did Magnus feel remotely the same? Or did he just see Alec as a friend?

The elevator opened and Alec had half a mind to march over to Magnus’s door and do... _something_ , when Magnus’s door opened. Alec froze at the end of the hall as he watched a tall, beautiful woman with dark skin laughing as she came out of Magnus’s apartment.

Magnus stepped out into the hallway, his hand on her arm as he finished saying something. They laughed again and Alec saw Magnus lean forward as they said their goodbyes. He immediately ducked behind the corner so he wouldn’t see what happened next.

_Of course Magnus didn’t want him. Of course he’d find someone prettier and happier than Alec. Magnus deserved so much more._

Alec opened the door to the stairwell and darted down the stairs, deciding to go for a walk around the block.

It was fine. He could just be Magnus’s friend, even if it ate away at him slowly. Magnus deserved someone whole and happy and bright, not a broken man who couldn’t even understand his own thoughts. Magnus deserved someone who could enjoy life with him, so as Alec walked around Brooklyn he resolved himself to support Magnus in whatever it was he could as a friend. At least he’d still get to spend time with him.

* * *

Magnus leaned in to kiss Catarina’s cheek when he thought he saw a flash of black hair disappearing behind the corner. Magnus had walked her to the elevator wondering whether or not he was seeing things.

There wasn’t a sign of anyone, so Magnus just said goodbye to Catarina and made his way back to his apartment.

In the ten or so minutes that he’d been saying goodbye to his friend, Magnus had received a phone call. A voicemail notification flashed across his screen.

Unlocking his phone, he listened to the message and promptly squealed.

“Chairman, we did it!” he cried at the cat as he called back the number. “Hello, yes. This is Magnus Bane. I just received a call about an interview I gave a few weeks ago. Yes… Uh huh… I’d be delighted.”

* * *

_[Magnus Bane 6:45 PM]_

_Where are you? I’ve been knocking on your door for ten minutes!_

_[Alexander 6:48 PM]_

_Diner from the other night? Why???_

_[Magnus Bane 6:49 PM]_

_Wait there!_

Alec had to admit that he was intrigued. He hadn’t seen Magnus since the night before when he’d seen the woman leaving his apartment. He had decided to try to avoid the apartment building as much as possible over the next few days to see if he could ignore his feelings away.

He had already come to the conclusion that he would rather have Magnus as a friend in his life than not have him at all, and he was determined to slam his feelings to the back of his mind. Even if on the off chance that Magnus wasn’t currently seeing anyone, Alec had realized that he needed to focus on himself for a while before he attempted to get into a relationship.

Ten minutes later, the chime above the door to the diner sounded and Magnus came strutting in.

He looked amazing as always and Alec wondered if Magnus ever looked bad. The flash of Magnus’s gold jeans caught Alec’s eyes, before his gaze was drawn to the dozens of rings on his long fingers. He was holding a magazine in his hand.

Magnus saw Alec and his eyes lit up as he made his way over to the booth where Alec was sitting. Alec was about to greet him when Magnus chucked the magazine at him. Alec caught the magazine, before it hit his face.

“What the hell?” Alec asked mouth gaping as he straightened the magazine in his hands.

Magnus slid into the booth across from him, a huge grin plastered on his face. “See for yourself.”

Alec scanned the front cover of the magazine that was dated for this coming Saturday and his eyes landed on a corner blurb with Magnus’s name on it. He quickly turned to that page and skimmed the article featuring a very flattering picture of Magnus standing next to a mannequin wearing what Alec assumed were clothes he designed.

“No way!” Alec said, looking up from the magazine at Magnus’s illuminated face.

“It’s true. Yours truly is having a fashion show one month from this coming Friday.” Magnus sounded like he was boasting, but Alec could see the humble elation in his eyes.

“Magnus, that’s amazing!” Alec said, smiling.

Magnus smiled back. “Thank you.”

“No really, Magnus. You should be proud. I know you’ve worked hard for this.”

The waitress came over and took Magnus’s order, refilling Alec’s water as Alec’s eyes flew across the article again.

“You don’t have to read the whole thing, Alexander,” Magnus said and Alec could hear an edge to his voice that he didn’t recognize.

“Of course I’m going to read it,” Alec replied, looking up at Magnus momentarily. Magnus almost looked embarrassed. “This is huge, Magnus, seriously.”

Alec finally reached the end of the article and look back up at Magnus with what Izzy would call his doe eyes. “Magnus, this is really good. Makes you sound super important.” Alec smirked.

Magnus huffed out a small laugh. “I’ll have you know, I _am_ super important, Alexander.”

“So how does this work? I know nothing about fashion shows.”

“What? You aren’t a secret fashion connoisseur?”

Alec kicked Magnus under the table.

“Ow.” Magnus looked genuinely offended and Alec almost apologized, but Magnus continued on. “Basically it’ll just be a small event in a warehouse in the garment district. I probably won’t even have real models, but it’s an opportunity for someone to pick up my line, which is an opportunity to actually make money at what I do.”

“Well, I’m here to help if you need anything. I mean I have no idea what’s involved, but I can help. And Izzy would be thrilled to help with a live fashion show.” Alec grinned, before taking a sip of his water. The waitress brought Magnus’s food.

“Actually, since I don’t have any models, and your sister could be a greek goddess sculpted from dark marble... If she would like to be in the show, I could absolutely make that happen.”

Alec laughed. “I think that would literally be a dream come true for her. Here -- give me your phone,” Alec said, holding out his hand. He quickly added Isabelle’s number into Magnus’s contacts. “You can ask her yourself, but I’m sure the answer is yes.”

“What are those?” Magnus nodded his head towards the notes Alec had spread in front of him, mouth half-full of his sandwich. Alec really shouldn’t find that endearing, but he found himself smiling and rolling his eyes in good humor.

“I’m up for a promotion. I just have to prove that I can edit this novel to perfection, so I’m laying out the details and plot and things that I need to talk to the author about. It’s boring compared to what you do,” Alec said, his hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck.

“Do you enjoy it?”

Alec couldn’t help the small smile that painted his face. “Yeah, I really do.”

“Then it’s not boring,” Magnus said, and that was that.

They fell into a conversation about both of their jobs. Alec explained the plot of the book that he was working on and the things that he wanted to talk to the author about, while Magnus listened intently. Magnus took out his sketch book showing Alec some of the designs he was thinking about showcasing. Alec was in awe of Magnus’s talent; not only were the sketches amazing but the clothes, the ideas, even just the colors and fabric swatches next to the designs were beautiful. They all screamed Magnus and Alec understood why someone would want to showcase this art. He watched Magnus with a smile on his face talk animately about all things fashion and all the work he would have to do to get ready for the show.

They finished eating and walked home together still talking about everything they could think of. Alec realized how natural and comforting it felt to talk to Magnus, how important Magnus had become in his life, and decided to really push any and all romantic feelings regarding Magnus out of his mind. It was more important to have a friend right now, someone who he could talk to and someone who he cared about, than it was to risk losing everything for something that might not even happen.

When they got to their doors, they paused in the hallway, leaning against their own walls respectively.

“So…” Alec said. He didn’t want to go inside, didn’t want to leave Magnus, but it was getting late and he still had work in the morning.

Magnus sighed, a tired but happy sound. “So, I was thinking of having a party soon to celebrate the fact that I finally landed a show. Plus, it’s been awhile since I’ve had a party.”

“Sounds reasonable,” Alec said, a smirk tugging at his lips. Magnus rolled his eyes and Alec let out a small laugh.

“You’ll have a chance to meet my friends that you haven’t met yet, as well.” The look Magnus gave him left Alec feeling a little confused, but he brushed it off.

“Oh God, there’s more of you,” Alec said, laughing as Magnus swatted unsuccessfully at him.

“I’ll have you know I have the world’s most amazing friends; they just also happen to be the world’s most annoying,” Magnus replied, arching an eyebrow and Alec laughed loudly.

“Well, I can’t argue with that,” Alec said, still laughing. When he gained control of himself again, he pushed off the wall. “Well, I should probably head in -- work in the morning. And you probably have a lot to start preparing for.”

“You’re right, we should probably say goodnight before we spend the whole night dawdling in the hall.” Magnus smiled softly at Alec and Alec couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face. “Goodnight, Alexander. I’ll see you soon.”

“Goodnight, Magnus,” Alec said, turning around and opening his door to step into his apartment. He closed the door and leaned back against it a feeling of loneliness seeping into his chest.

He toed off his shoes, stripped out of his jacket and clothes, and crawled into bed. The loneliness carried him into sleep, where the nightmares once again plagued his mind.

He woke up at three in the morning, the image of Max’s broken bodied imprinted on the back of his eyelids. He grabbed his phone and dialed his younger brother’s number.

“Alec, what’s wrong?” Max’s voice sounded tired, but alert with worry. Alec let out a sigh of relief at the sound of his voice.

“Hey, sorry for waking you up,” Alec said, trying to get his breathing under control. “I was just wondering if you could start doing research on those therapy dogs that you were joking about a few weeks ago?” Alec’s own voice was rough from murmuring and shouting in his sleep.

“Of course, big brother,” Max said, and Alec cuddled back into his bed, the sound of Max’s breathing carrying him back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always thanks to the amazing Jaimie (@sarcasticlightwood on tumblr)!!! come chat with me @matsdaddario and let me know what you think!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jace,” Alec said once Jace picked up. “Have you talked to Max recently? Like in the last hour? He’s supposed to be here now and neither Izzy nor I have heard from him.” 
> 
> Jace hadn’t heard from him either. Alec started to panic, hands growing clammy and starting to shake, as he paced up and down the length of his apartment. This wasn’t happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Breanna and Lora for their betaing on this chapter!

Magnus was frantically running around his apartment, fabric and sketches thrown about in a haphazard manner, when someone knocked on his door.

Exhaling loudly, he threw the swatch of purple velvet off his shoulder and onto the dining table, and made his way over to the door. A heap of light blue cotton moved across the floor and Magnus let out a tired chuckle as he removed the fabric from Chairman Meow, throwing it onto the table, and petting the cat once on the head, before moving to open the door.

“Ah, Isabelle,” Magnus greeted Alec’s sister as he held the door open for her to come in. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. Please excuse the mess; it’s been a busy few weeks.”

Isabelle smiled at him, before she broke out into a fit of giggles. Magnus raised his eyebrow in her direction, before closing the door.

“I’m sorry, Magnus, but you look a little ridiculous,” Isabelle said trying to get her laughter under control.

Magnus had to laugh himself because he knew she was right. He had forgotten to remove his makeup last night and had jumped out of bed first thing this morning to get back to work. He hadn’t had time to wash his face so he knew he had day old eyeliner smudged under his eyes. His hair was falling to the side as he hadn’t had time to put it up and he was wearing an old ripped t-shirt that read “Say Hi if You’re Bi.”

Like he said, it’d been a busy few weeks. Since he found out about the show, he’d been running around like a madman trying to get everything prepared. His employees had finally kicked him out of his own office, claiming that he was distracting them too much and that they needed to get work done. He’d been practically confined to his home for the last week.

But now it was only a week and a half until the show and with the party he was simultaneously planning for this coming Saturday night, Magnus was strung a little too thinly. Hence Isabelle.

“Not that I’m not flattered that you called me, but why didn’t you just call my brother,” Isabelle asked as she shrugged off her jacket, draping it over a chair covered in glitter.

“He’s at therapy,” Magnus said, going over to his bar cart and opening a bottle of wine. He held it up to Isabelle who nodded and then poured two glasses. “Plus, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but fashion and your brother don’t really go hand in hand.”

Isabelle laughed taking the glass from Magnus’s hand.

“You got me there,” she said, taking a sip before setting her glass on the one inch of free space currently on his dining table. “So what do you need from me, boss?” Her smile was teasing and Magnus laughed.

“One, never call me that,” Magnus stated, holding up a finger, “And two, I just needed a sane person with an eye for fashion to tell me I’m not completely out of my mind with some of this. I also finished two of your outfits, if you wanted to try them on.”

Isabelle squealed, clapping her hands together. “I can’t wait to see what you made me,” she said laughing as Chairman Meow jumped up on the table knocking over another tub of glitter. “Oh my god!” She now doubled over laughing as the Chairman lifted his very glitter covered nose.

“Damn, cat,” Magnus said, picking him up and moving over to the sink where he wetted a cloth to wipe Chairman as clean as he could.

“Did you know that Alec’s looking into an emotional support animal?” Isabelle asked, rifling through some fabric swatches on his couch, wine glass perched in one hand.

“I thought he was looking into a therapy dog?” Magnus asked, setting the Chairman on his only empty chair.

“He was, but it takes a long time to get cleared for a PTSD dog and Alec being Alec would feel guilty about leaving a dog when he’s at work---” Magnus started to argue “---I know you can bring them to work but Alec doesn’t think that’s professional. I think he was looking into just getting a cat or something last time I checked. He and Max are going to go look this weekend I think.”

“Well as a bonafide cat owner, I highly recommend the little devils,” Magnus said, as Chairman Meow once again hopped up onto the now glitter covered table. “Jesus Christ, cat,” Magnus groaned, moving him to start the process over. “Now, my dear,” Magnus said, moving to his closet to grab a garment bag for Isabelle. “Here, try this one and let’s see what we’re working with.”

 

* * *

 

Alec was exhausted when he rounded the corner and the apartment building came into sight. He felt like he was seeing the promise land if he was being honest with himself.

It’d been a long day. Hell, it’d been a long couple weeks. He’d been seeing Dot once a week for the last three weeks and on top of that work was crazy and he needed to start saving up for Max’s next tuition payment which thank god was a few months away. He never thought he’d appreciate summer so much.

Alec opened the door to the building when he heard someone calling his name. He turned around to see Clary running down the street.

“Alec, hey!” Clary greeted slightly out of breath when she finally caught up to him. “I saw you and thought you could let me up so I don’t have to bother Magnus.”

“Hey, Clary,” Alec said holding the door open for her. She walked into the lobby of the apartment and made her way to the elevator pressing the up button and waiting for him. “Is he still in crazy design mode?” Magnus had been running around like a madman for the past three weeks. Alec had only seen him a few times between how busy Magnus was and how busy he himself was. But the few times he had seen him, it had been a frenzy of fabric and paper and words that Alec had yet to fully understand.

“Yeah, he called me over to help with something. Apparently, he wants me to be one of his models,” Clary said with a grin as she stepped into the elevator and he followed her in.

“He asked Izzy too,” Alec said laughing a little as he remember the pure glee on his sister’s face when she told him that Magnus wanted her to model.

“See now that makes sense,” Clary said smiling and Alec knew that tone. He looked at her with raised eyebrows. “What? Just because I’m dating your brother doesn’t mean I can’t admire the aesthetics of your sister.” Clary winked and Alec rolled his eyes. These people.

“I really don't need to know that much,” Alec said laughing as the elevator opened to his floor. They walked down the hallway to Alec’s and Magnus’s doors and Alec was about to say goodbye and head inside when Clary stopped him.

“Hey, I wanted to apologize again for the gallery opening,” Clary said, eyes downcast. “I really should have warned you guys. I was just a little overwhelmed.”

“Clary, I meant what I said. It was fine. You’re art was great and it sort of helped me anyway,” Alec admitted, running his hand over the back of his head. He didn’t know Clary very well, but he didn’t dislike her by any means. She was sweet and thoughtful and he was glad that Jace finally found someone like her. “You should stop apologizing for your work.”

Clary smiled and before Alec knew it he was wrapped in another hug. Apparently, Clary’s family was a hugging one. He loosely returned the hug before quickly pulling away. That’s when he heard Izzy’s laugh coming from the other side of Magnus’s door.

Clary gave him a look before moving to open Magnus’s door. The sight on the other side of the door had both Alec and Clary bursting out laughing.

Izzy, Magnus, and Chairman Meow were covered in various swatches of fabric and glitter as Magnus attempted to teach Izzy a proper catwalk. When they heard Alec and Clary laughing, they both turned towards the door, huge grins on their faces.

“Well hello, darlings,” Magnus greeted, standing up straight as he ran a hand through his loose hair. Alec had never seen Magnus’s hair down and he had to admit it was a soft, but not unpleasant look for the man.

“What are you doing?”

“Chairman Meow was assisting in my education of the proper way to walk a runway,” Izzy said, laughing as she shook some of the glitter out of her hair. “Hey, Clary,” Izzy greeted smiling wide.

“Biscuit, you’re late,” Magnus accused, a teasing lilt to his voice.

“I know I’m sorry,” Clary practically groaned. “Mom had a client coming into pick up a painting and no one else could be there. I’m sorry. I’m here now.”

“And what’s that on your neck? A curling iron burn?” Magnus asked the teasing note even heavier in his voice. Alec looked down at Clary and noticed the mark on her neck for the first time.

“So Jace may have come over to keep me busy while I waited,” Clary countered a look of defiance square on her face.

“Of course our brother never learned that hickeys are so high school,” Izzy said voice full of laughter. Alec’s face flushed and Izzy noticed. “Oh come on big brother you can talk about hickeys even if you’ve never had one.”

Alec wanted to murder his sister. His eyes flicked over to Magnus’s for a moment whose line of vision seemed to be fixed on Alec’s own neck before they both looked away.

“Well, I should get going,” Alec said pointing his thumb behind him back towards his own door. “Max is coming over later with his research on emotional support animals or whatever so I’ll just--- uh--- you know---” Alec jabbed his thumb behind him working his jaw and feeling an embarrassed flush take over his face at his own inability to say a simple sentence.

“Go?” Magnus supplied smiling thoughtfully. “Right of course. Don’t forget my party this weekend, Alexander,” Magnus said as Alec turned around to leave.

“I’ll be there,” Alec called over his shoulder as he exited Magnus’s apartment and made his way into his own. He just wanted to sleep, but Max had been so excited about his research that Alec had agreed to let him come over later.

Dot had suggested an emotional support animal instead of a full on therapy dog for a few reasons most of which had to do with the fact that Alec seemed capable of coping to a high functioning extent, but his loneliness was making that fact harder. Alec had always been more of a cat person anyway and the few moments he’d been able to spend with Chairman Meow over the past couple months had really solidified that.

As Alec closed his door he was met with a force stopping him. “What the---?”

“Just me, mi hermano,” Izzy said waltzing into his apartment like it was no big deal, which granted it wasn’t but still.

“Izzy, what are you doing?” Alec asked as he closed the door behind him, turning to face her with a look of exasperation.

“I was just finish up at Magnus’s anyway and thought I’d come spend some time with my two favorite brothers. Don’t tell Jace.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Alec laughed as he shrugged out of his jacket and dropped his bag onto the kitchen table. “You want anything to drink? Max is bringing takeout.”

Alec poured Izzy and himself a glass of water since he didn’t have anything else to drink in the apartment at the moment. It was easier to resist temptation if temptation wasn’t there. He huffed out a laugh as he closed the fridge.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Alec said, turning to Izzy and wondering why Max was taking so long. When he turned back around, Izzy was fixing him with her signature glare. “It’s nothing, Iz.”

“I’m sure, Alec. When you want to talk to me, I’m here,” Izzy said a sad smile on her face as she moved to sit on Alec’s couch.

“Hey, I talk to you,” Alec argued, moving to join her in the living room.

“Not really, Alec. I mean, sure you talk to me more than you used to, but I can see that you’re still bottling up so much of your shit to protect us all. We’re grown ups, Alec and you don’t have to protect us anymore.”

“Hey, I’m your big brother, I’m always going to have to protect you,” Alec said setting his water down and sitting next to her on the couch. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his side. “I promise if anything worth talking about comes up you’ll be the first to know.”

Izzy smiled up at him, rolling her eyes at the same time and Alec had to laugh. They sat back against the couch waiting for Max.

When ten minutes passed with no word from their younger brother, Alec told Izzy to call him to see what was up as he pulled out some vegetables to snack on. Izzy dialed Max’s number, holding the phone up to her ear as it rang and frowning at it when Max didn’t answer.

“He never forgets his phone,” Izzy said looking up at Alec with a worried expression.

Alec pulled out his own phone calling Max and waiting for him to pick up. Max had never missed one of Alec’s calls since Alec had been home. Alec called Jace next.

“Jace,” Alec said once Jace picked up. “Have you talked to Max recently? Like in the last hour? He’s supposed to be here now and neither Izzy nor I have heard from him.”

Jace hadn’t heard from him either. Alec started to panic, hands growing clammy and starting to shake, as he paced up and down the length of his apartment. This wasn’t happening.

“I’m sure he’s fine, brother. You’ve got to calm down,” Izzy said standing up from the couch and wringing her hands together. Alec could feel her eyes following him.

“What if he’s not, Iz? What if something happened--Izzy, what if---?” Alec’s phone started ringing in his hands and he answered it before it rang a second time. “Max? Hello? Yes, this is Alexander Lightwood….What?...When?...Where is he?...I’m on my way.” Alec hung up the phone, before meeting Izzy’s wide eyes. “He’s in the hospital. Some accident. We have to go.” Alec was already grabbing his keys and his jacket; his vision was starting to blur. He felt lightheaded, clammy, cold. Fuck, this couldn’t be happening.

Izzy ushered him out of the apartment and before he knew it they were at the Brooklyn Hospital Center. He tried to remember how they got there, but his brain was fuzzy as images of Max and thoughts of Max and Max, Max, Max floated through his head. Izzy led him to the front desk.

“How can I help you?” the nurse behind the desk asked.

“Our brother. Um--he was---Our brother was in an accident,” Izzy responded, hands clasped tight around Alec’s arm.

“I’m so sorry. Let me look here. What was your brother’s name?”

“Is,” Alec said.

“I’m sorry?”

“What is our brother’s name? He’s not dead,” Alec argued, voice overcome with fear and anger.

“Of course, sir. I’m sorry, what is your brother’s name?”

“Max Lightwood,” Izzy supplied, tightening her hold on Alec’s arm.

“Okay...one moment...here we go. It looks like your brother is in emergency surgery at the moment. Unfortunately, there’s not much I can tell you, but I can send a doctor out as soon as there’s word.” The nurse smiled what Alec assumed was supposed to be a reassuring smile but he was having trouble thinking past the ringing in his ears.

“He can’t be dead. He can’t die. He can’t.” Alec was almost shouting.

“He’s not going to die, Alec. Hey, shhhhh,” Izzy tried to calm him but he was losing his grip on this reality quickly. “Thank you,” Izzy said to the nurse as she ushered Alec over to a chair where they sat down. “Alec, breathe. You need to calm down. Max is going to be fine, I promise. Shhhh.” Izzy was rubbing his back in small circles. Alec was attempting to breathe in through his nose, but he felt as if he were choking.

“Izzy, I can’t...I can’t lose him...Izzy,” Alec gasped for breath as he buried his face in his hands.

“Hey, we’re not going to lose him,” Izzy said leaning in close. “This isn’t Iraq, okay? This isn’t the war. He’s going to fine. This is one of the best emergency facilities in the city. He’s going to be alright.”

Izzy continued to soothe him, stroking his back and whispering reassuring things in his ear, arms wrapped around him in a protective gesture. Alec would have shaken anyone else off. They called Jace and their parents, considering Alec was Max’s emergency contact and they weren’t sure if they had heard. The three of them rushed in about an hour later frantic and concerned. Alec could tell his parents were angry that they hadn’t been called first. Alec had calmed down some. Jace rushed over to him first as Robert and Maryse made their way to the nurse’s station.

“Hey, buddy,” Jace said, sitting on his other side and placing another reassuring hand on his shoulder. “You alright?”

Alec shook his head for a moment before sighing and leaning into Jace fully. “I can’t…”

“Hey, we’re not going to lose him, Alec. It’s going to be fine. Has anyone been out to say anything?” Jace asked, looking up at Izzy as Alec rested his head on his brother’s shoulder.

“No, they said they’d come out when they had more news,” Izzy said her voice rough. Alec realized that she was also crying.

“Our son is possibly bleeding out and you can’t tell me what’s going on?” Maryse’s voice broke out, loud and harsh and intimidating causing Alec to flinch and look up at her.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I don’t know anything. He’s been in surgery for almost an hour, but I can assure you he’s in the best hands.”

“Oh, yes the best hands that couldn’t even call us when our son was almost killed,” Robert replied, glowering at the nurse.

“I’m sorry, sir, but your son is over eighteen and his emergency contact was his brother. We’re just following procedure.” The nurse looked downright frightened and Alec understood, but sat up straight repressing his urge to flinch when Robert turned to glare at him.

“Just tell us immediately when you know what is happening to our son,” Maryse said, before turning around, heels clicking on the floor as she made her way over to her children. “Alec, darling, you look terrible,” she said stopping in front of her son.

“Gee, mom, that’s nice,” Izzy bit out at Maryse, pressing her hand deeper into Alec’s back.

“I’m concerned for my son, Isabelle, I think that is nice.”

“I’m fine, Mom.”

“Why are you Max’s emergency contact?” Robert said storming over to stand beside his wife.

“Because I’m not trying to ship him off to his death,” Alec said, standing up and towering over his father. “Stop pretending like you care for any of us.” Alec’s whole body was shaking and all he wanted to do was punch something, so he turned to his siblings fists tight at his side. “I need a minute, call me the second they tell you anything.” They nodded and Alec pushed past his parents before heading outside.

He tried to think about techniques that Dot had taught him to deal with everything, the anxiety, the fear, the anger, the worry, but his head was too foggy. He felt dizzy, sick, like he was going to be violently ill soon. He couldn’t be around his parents right now, not with everything they’d done or hadn’t done. He couldn’t be in there. He needed something good, something to ground him.

He took his phone out and went to his contacts. His thumb hovered over Max’s name wanting nothing more than to just talk to his little brother who had become a stable beacon of light in Alec’s life. But right there, next to Max’s name in his phone was the only other person he needed to call, needed to talk to. His siblings were already here and all he wanted was Magnus to tell him that everything would be alright, even if he didn’t believe it. So after a few moments hesitation, Alec pressed Magnus name and the phone started ringing.

“Alexander, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Magnus’s voice was musical and Alec almost said nevermind just so he could keep that musical sound playing in his head. Alec took a deep shaky breath, exhaling into the phone. “Alexander, are you alright?”

“No,” Alec squeaked out, his voice high pitched and miserable.

“What’s wrong? Do you need me to come over?” Magnus sounded alert now.

“I’m not home.”

“Alec, you’re scaring me. Where are you? What’s going on?”

“I’m at the hospital...It’s Max…” Alec’s voice cracked on his brother’s name and he almost lost it there; he had to close his eyes to fight against the tears that were threatening to come again.

“What hospital? Clary and I will be right there.” Alec heard Clary’s voice in the background, but couldn’t hear what she was saying. “Is Jace there already? Clary wants to know.”

“Yeah um everyone’s---everyone’s here.” Alec told Magnus what hospital and Magnus promised he’d be there as soon as possible. Alec begrudgingly hung up the phone wanting nothing more than to just keep listening to Magnus’s voice.

Alec’s whole body was still trembling; he was on the verge of something and he knew that any small thing would trigger something big, but he just took a deep breath and leaned his head back against the brick wall of the hospital.

“Alec!” Izzy’s voice sounded frantic as she ran outside eyes wide and wild as they searched for him. “Alec, the doctor’s coming to talk to us!” she shouted as she closed the distance between them and grabbed the sleeve of Alec’s jacket in her hand, tugging him along with her.

When they got back inside, a doctor was standing in front of Alec’s parents, waving her hands as she explained what was going on. A doctor that Alec immediately recognized as the woman who had been outside Magnus’s apartment a few weeks ago. Alec’s mind shut down as he pushed the thought away.

“What’s happening?” he asked, voice deep and steady as he stepped up next to his parents.

“Alexander, be quiet,” his father hissed at him. But the doctor turned to Alec a friendly smile on her face.

“Mr. Lightwood,” she began, directed at him and he could feel the annoyance radiating off his father. “As I was just telling your parents, Max was in an accident. The cab he was riding in was hit by another car. Luckily, his injuries aren’t too severe. His leg is fractured in two places and he has some definite bruising and cuts mostly on his face and torso, but those are the only detectable problems.”

“He’s going to be okay?” Alec asked, his voice wavering.

“He should be fine, Mr. Lightwood. He was rushed into surgery when he got here and we set the leg and checked for any other signs of distress. There’s no internal bleeding. We want to keep him overnight at least to rest and check for any brain trauma that may have occurred. But as far as we can tell, your brother is going to be just fine. Now, he won’t be able to walk on the leg for at least eight to ten weeks, but after that he should be fine. We can talk about his recovery later on, but for now he’s looking good.”

“Thank you, Doctor---”

“Loss, but you may call me Catarina,” the doctor informed him, the warm smile still on her face. “Now, Max is awake, but he’s probably a little out of it because of the anesthesia, but you may go back and see him if you like. However, he might have fallen asleep, which would be perfectly normal. But only one at a time please.” Catarina told them what room he was in and let them know that any nurse would be happy to lead them back to the room before she had to run back into check on more patients.

“Alec should go,” Izzy said as soon as Doctor Loss was out of hearing distance.

“And why is that?” Robert asked, turning towards his daughter arms crossed over his chest, face red.

“Because it’s what Max would want,” Jace said in an even voice staring at their parents with a leveled gaze. Jace hardly ever stood up to the Lightwood parents, but when he did it meant he was serious.

“Is that what you want, Alec?” Maryse asked turning to Alec. Her voice wasn’t kind, but it wasn’t angry. It was just flat as it normally was, a true question full of no emotion.

Alec nodded and without saying anything else followed a nurse back to the room where Max was resting. His breathing picked up the further into the hospital he went and he could feel his heart rate increase. His hands were sticky, clammy and a chill ran down his spine. He suppressed a shiver and blinked against his blurring vision.

When he rounded the corner of the door to Max’s room, he felt the familiar tug in the back of his brain, his breathing turned to panting gasps, heart pounding. He blinked and all he saw was desert.

He’d been having flashbacks long enough to know when he was having one, but that didn’t stop it from feeling real and at the moment all his strength was gone and he was forced to give in.

Sand and buildings on fire and machinery everywhere. Explosions and gunshots and shouting. Screaming of soldiers and civilians and the other side firing on him and his friends. He could hear it all, see it all, taste the dry heat and the sand as it blew against his face, rubbing his skin raw.

His body was tense as his head whipped around looking for the piercing screams of the children that he knew was coming. This was his literal nightmare, the image that he constantly saw over and over and over again. He couldn’t find them. Where were they? He needed to help, protect, stand guard. That’s why he was here; that’s what he was made for.

“Alec!” He couldn’t tell if the scream was in his nightmare or somewhere else. Where was he? “Alec!”

His eyes focused on the screaming children as he ran to them, stopping in his tracks when he crashed over something, falling onto the ground. He looked up from where he was to see Max’s bloodied and broken body lying on the ground, unmoving.

He screamed.

“Alexander!”

Alec slowly blinked. He was lying on the hospital floor, staring up at the ceiling. His throat felt raw from screaming and when he turned his head to the side a chair was toppled over. He was breathing sharply, his chest rising and falling in rapid succession. He felt dizzy as he tried to sit up.

“Hey, don’t do that. Just stay there,” a voice said to Alec’s other side. He turned his head and was shocked to see Magnus kneeling next to him.

“Magnus?” Alec croaked, before his eyes focused on Izzy and Doctor Loss standing behind Magnus near the door.

“Alec?” another voice asked and Alec turned his head back to the hospital bed where Max had woken up after drifting back to sleep. He looked groggy and exhausted and bruised, but he was awake and not bleeding and Alec’s heart rate started to slow down at just the sight. “Are you okay?” Max sort of slurred as he tried to focus more on Alec, his eyes not finding focus.

Alec couldn’t help but huff out a laugh, even though it sounded more like a dry groan. “I’m fine,” he said as he slowly pushed himself up off the ground. His arms were sore, he was exhausted, and his head was spinning, but Max was okay. “Are you okay?”

Magnus moved closer to Alec as he tried to sit up again and failed, wobbling back a little, Magnus’s hands immediately on his back to steady him. Alec gave up trying to stand and just sat back, leaning a bit into the pressure of Magnus’s hands. He glanced to his side and saw that Magnus’s eyes were wide with fear and worry. Alec shook his head attempting to reassure both Magnus and Izzy that he was fine. Even if it was a lie. He turned back to Max.

“Fine, tired. ‘M sorry,” Max slurred more as his eyelids drooped further down. Izzy moved over to Max when Alec failed to stand.

“It’s okay, baby brother. You just get some rest,” Izzy said as she squeezed Max’s arm. Max almost immediately fell back to sleep.

As Max fell asleep, Izzy walked over to Alec and lowered herself to his eye level. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Alec hesitated for a moment looking at his little sister’s wide eyed stare. “No, but I will be,” Alec reassured her and she threw her arms around him hugging him close. He pushed his head into her neck and sighed. He was still shaking, so she wobbled a little where she was squatting next to him. He felt Magnus remove his hands from his back.

“I’m sorry to be this way, but it might be a bit too overwhelming for Max to have so many people in here when he wakes up again,” Catarina said, as Izzy and Alec pulled apart. Alec looked over at her and saw Magnus standing close to her. A feeling of jealousy knotted his stomach for a moment, before he pushed it away. He had more important things to deal with right now.

Izzy helped Alec stand, but as he tilted to one side, Magnus was there, wrapping his arm around Alec’s back for support. Alec tentatively wrapped his arm around Magnus’s shoulder, face burning with the proximity.

“Alec, do you mind if I call you Alec?” Catarina asked. Alec shook his head. “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to check you for a concussion. You hit your head pretty hard there and I’d like to be sure.” Her smile was warm and friendly and Alec felt Magnus’s arm tighten around him for a moment. He looked over towards Izzy.

“I’ll stay with him, I promise.” Izzy nodded at him and Alec knew he could trust her so he turned and nodded at Catarina.

Magnus helped him walk to the next free room where Catarina had him sit down on the hospital bed.

“Are you sure you’re not too busy, Cat?” Magnus asked, hovering next to Alec’s bed as Catarina did some basic tests.

“I’m on a break now, Magnus. It’s fine.” Catarina smiled wide as she told Alec to follow her finger with his eyes. “So, how do you two know each other?”

“We’re neighbors,” Alec answered as nonchalant as possible.

“Oh this is _that Alexander_?”

“Cat!” Magnus shrieked and Alec looked between them confused. “Ignore her, darling.”

“How do you two know each other?” Alec countered flushing at the term of endearment.

“Catarina is one of my oldest friends. She was in one of the group homes I was in before Luke found me,” Magnus replied, smiling fondly at Catarina.

“So you two aren’t---?” Alec waved his hand between the two of them. His head was still spinning and all he wanted to do was fall asleep.

“Oh God no, dear. He’s like my younger brother,” Catarina asked shuddering a little. Alec had to laugh at that. “So it looks like you do have a concussion, which means I can’t let you fall asleep tonight. I’m sorry, I know that flashback probably took it out of you.”

“It’s fine. I probably wouldn't have slept anyway,” Alec muttered, before trying to smile at Catarina. It wasn’t her fault.

“I’m also going to have to kick you out of this room, because of hospital policy. I’m sorry.” She seemed genuinely sorry.

“It’s okay. I understand. I should probably go check on my siblings anyway.” Alec said, starting to stand from the bed, but quickly falling sideways. Magnus once again caught him.

“Maybe you should help him out, Magnus,” Catarina said, winking at Magnus, but Alec was too distracted by the throbbing in his head to comprehend the motion. “I’ll come let you know if anything changes with your brother, Alec. And you let me know if I can do anything to help you as well.”

“Thank you, Doctor L-- Catarina.”

“Please, call me Cat. Any friend of Magnus’s is a friend of mine. Now, I should get back to work,” she said giving Magnus a squeeze on his shoulder before leaving them alone in the room.

“We should probably get back to the lobby,” Magnus said, shifting towards the door, but Alec stopped him.

“Thank you for coming,” Alec said, looking down into Magnus’s eyes.

“Anything for you, Alexander.”

Alec allowed Magnus to guide him through the hospital, the throbbing in his head and the sweat drying on his skin masking any reaction he was having to Magnus being so close.  
  
As they approached the waiting room, Alec couldn't help the images still flickering through his head. He knew Max was fine, he knew that nothing was going to happen to him, but that dream. That damn dream had been haunting him for so long. The image of Max's broken and bloody body flashing behind his eyes as he blinked caused Alec to flinch and Magnus to tighten his grip around Alec's waist.

“Are you alright, Alexander?” Magnus asked voice low and serious in his ear.

Alec nodded feeling dizzy again as he and Magnus approached the waiting room. Alec took in the sight of Jace with Clary’s arms wrapped around him; it didn't look like he had been crying, but he had a far off look in his eyes and a blank expression. Alec felt his heart throb.

Lydia was sitting next to Jace watching the couple, but when she caught sight of Alec she jumped from her seat. “How is he?”

“He's going to be fine. Talked to him for a minute. He's good,” Alec answered as Magnus led him over to the chairs beside Clary and Jace. Maryse and Robert were on the other side of the room whispering in harsh voices and glancing up every few moments. They didn't seem to care why they were there anymore.

“And how are you?” Lydia asked arms folded across her chest as she looked Alec up and down; her expression was stern but concerned.

Alec shrugged but Jace stood up quickly and made his way over to Alec. “What happened?”

“Jace, I'm fine,” Alec tried to insist.

“Alec, you are not fine,” Jace bit out through gritted teeth.

“Jace,” Alec replied sharply.

“Alec,” Jace replied in the same tone.

Alec sat down in the chair that Magnus had led him to immediately missing the support of Magnus's strong arms.

“I had a flashback,” Alec said coolly as he leaned his head backwards, letting it hang on his neck. No one was in the chairs directly behind them.

“What!?” Jace and Lydia both shouted at the same time.

“I'm fine. Calm down and be quiet,” Alec ordered, because this wasn't the time or place to talk about this.

Jace started to say something else and Alec tipped his head to look at Magnus eyes wide and pleading.

“Alexander has a concussion from hitting his head so now might not be the best time for an interrogation,” Magnus said as he leaned back in his chair, sending a wink in Alec's direction.

Alec had never felt so grateful for anyone. All he wanted to do was fall asleep and wake up at home realizing this was just another nightmare.

“Hey,” a voice whispered close to his ear. “I can't let you fall asleep,” Magnus continued. “Tell me about something?”

Alec made a dismissive noise. “Tell me about the show,” Alec said hoping it made sense but his mind was slowly pulling itself back together so he didn't know if he was being coherent or not.

Magnus spent the next hour telling Alec everything he could have wanted (or not wanted) to know about the work that went into making a good fashion show. Alec watched as Magnus talked moving his hands in a flourish as he described models and fabrics and late nights and the venue. Magnus was mesmerizing when he talked especially when he was passionate about something and Alec could tell that fashion was what Magnus lived for. Alec no longer felt as clammy or dizzy as he focused on what Magnus was telling him, smiling when he saw Magnus lips quirk into a smile of their own as he spoke of a leopard printed fabric he'd discovered that complimented Clary's hair to a tee. He hadn't even realized how much time had passed until he heard the clicking of Izzy's heels coming down the hall. He turned from Magnus to watch his sister approach.

“How are you feeling?” Izzy asked before Alec had the chance to talk. She took a seat next to Magnus and turned to face Alec.

“Better,” Alec admitted and it was true. He was thirsty and exhausted and his head still hurt but he felt better. “How's Max?”

“He's awake and he wants to see you,” Izzy said watching him carefully.

Alec nodded and made to stand up, but Magnus's hand grabbed onto his forearm.

“Alexander, are you sure about this?”

“I have to see him,” Alec replied squeezing Magnus hand once before walking away from his family down the hall that led to Max's room. He paused around the corner taking a deep breath in and out and told himself that everything was fine, that he was going to be fine. Then he entered the room.

Max had his eyes closed when Alec entered the room, he could tell his brother wasn't asleep though so Alec made his way over to Max’s bed quietly. Now that his mind was clear he took in Max lying in the hospital bed.

Max was tall, almost as tall as Alec himself. He’d hit a growth spurt around his junior year of high school and quickly sprouted up to tower over their other two siblings and their parents. But lying in the bed, Max looked small, as small as if he were still the little baby that Alec had been immediately enamoured with and protective over at the age of ten.

His leg was in a thick cast, elevated in the air by some sort of pulley contraption. He had a bandage wrapped around his head and Alec noticed dozens of bruises littering his pale skin.

Alec dug his jagged nails into the flesh of his forearm to ground himself, ignoring the small tug in the back of his mind. This wasn’t his nightmare; Max was safe; Max was going to be perfectly fine and fully healed in eight weeks. It was all going to be fine.

“I can hear you thinking from down here,” Max mumbled, slowly turning his head in Alec’s direction. His wide brown eyes looked up at Alec and one again Alec saw his brother as the baby he’d always be to him.

Alec cleared his throat, choking down some of the emotion that threatened to burst out. “How are you feeling?” he asked noticeable concern lacing his voice.

“Sore and tired mostly,” Max said looking down at his leg. “Alec, I’m sorry.”

“What?” Alec’s eyes snapped up from Max’s leg to his face. “What are you talking about?”

“You. You shouldn’t have to be here -- see me like this. If I would have just taken the subway… But I was already running late and I was trying to rush and I just --- I shouldn’t have --- I---”

“Max, stop. You’re being ridiculous.” Alec let out a frustrated breath, dragging his hand down his face before opening his eyes to look down at his brother again. “This isn’t your fault. I’m fine -- You don’t need to worry about me ---”

“But you’ve told me about your nightmares---I mean this is basically---I had a dream while I was under and you were screaming and it was my fault---” Max stopped talking looking frustrated and stubborn all at the same moment. Alec realized that Max didn’t remember his earlier episode.

Alec wanted nothing more than to wrap his baby brother in a tight hug and never let go. Izzy always said that Max was most like him, but Alec had a hard time seeing even half of Max’s strength in himself. Max Lightwood was one of a kind.

“Hey, it was just a dream okay,” Alec interrupted Max as he started breathing too harshly obviously working himself up over the distress he’d caused Alec which Alec frankly thought was ridiculous. “Stop, okay. You’re here and you’re safe and everything is going to be alright. You’re going to fine and I’m going to be fine, okay? For now you should channel that energy into getting better.”

Max stared up at Alec for a long few moments before nodding and looking down. Alec watched his brother anxiously fiddle with the blanket draped over his good leg. His own hand was kneading at his opposite palm.

Alec pulled a chair close to Max’s bed and sat down. They both sat in silence for a while before a nurse came to check on Max. He was an Asian man of an average height wearing brightly colored scrubs, so Alec’s mind immediately went to Magnus. He looked at his own hands clasped in his lap as he asked the nurse a few questions making sure that Max was really going to be alright. He made sure to avoid eye contact the whole time. His face still felt flushed when the nurse finally left.

Alec needed to get a handle on himself.

Apparently Alec wasn’t the only one who thought the nurse resembled Magnus even in the most superficial ways, because when Alec looked back up at Max his brother was smirking at him. Or at least what could be considered smirking with the cuts and bruises and bandages. Alec could practically read his thoughts.

“So Magnus, huh?” Max asked shifting as much as he could on the bed to get more comfortable. He ended up in the exact same position with his arm stretched slightly to the right. A wave of sympathy rushed through Alec thinking about his brother’s immobility for the next few weeks. He ignored that in favor of focusing on what Max was implying.

“What about Magnus?” He decided it was best to act oblivious if only for the fact that it would get Max to react.

Max rolled his eyes as best as he could letting out a scoff of a sound. “He sure came rushing to your side earlier.” He pointed a finger at the spot where Alec had collapsed earlier in the evening. Alec vaguely thought about how long this night was lasting, before turning his attention back to his still smirking brother. It was amazing how annoying Max could be when he was literally immobilized in a hospital bed.

Alec huffed out a sound he wasn’t completely sure the meaning of; it was somewhere between a scoff and a laugh. “For the last time, we are just friends.”

“Alec,” Max started, voice taking on a more serious tone. “I hate to break it to you but the way you two look and act around each other is about as far from friendly as you can get while still being fully clothed.”

Alec’s whole body flushed. “Stop it, Max. I mean it; we’re just friends. I can’t deal with anything more right now. Besides, he doesn’t see me that way.”

“I’m sure, big brother,” Max said shaking his head but apparently deciding to drop the conversation. At least for now. Alec didn’t hold out much hope for peace when it came to his siblings.

Alec turned on the TV and they watched a late night talk show until Max drifted off to sleep and Alec turned his attention back towards his baby brother.

Alec was having a hard time thinking about anything at the moment besides Max and how real his flashback felt. Even the memory of Magnus’s firm arms around his body couldn’t distract him from the sounds and the sights of that day.

It didn’t matter how many times he relived it; the sensory details never faded and he always felt like he was right back in the middle of a war zone trying to save everyone and failing.

Alec shook his head, refocusing his gaze on Max. He didn’t want to think about any of that now. He just wanted to focus on Max getting back to health. That and sleeping. He just wanted to fall asleep, but Catarina had strictly told him that falling asleep wouldn’t do anything to help his concussion. He knew if he stayed here watching Max sleep any longer, he’d fall asleep himself. So he stood up, leaned over to place a kiss on Max’s forehead, and headed back out to the lobby. He’d send Izzy or Jace in here to keep an eye on Max as he slept.

 

* * *

 

Magnus’s eyes followed Alexander as he made his way back to Max’s room for the second time that night.

When Magnus had arrived at the hospital, he’d immediately found Isabelle, after not being able to locate Alec himself. She had told him that Alec had gone back to see Max.

When Catarina had run out, startled by Magnus’s appearance at first, she’d only hesitated briefly before explaining that Alec had seemed distressed when he rounded the corner to Max’s room.

Isabelle had jumped from her chair telling Jace that she’d check on him. Magnus had been unable to stop himself from following Catarina as she followed Isabelle back to Max’s room. He could feel Catarina trying to make eye contact with him no doubt a question of why he was there perched on her tongue, when they had all heard Alexander scream.

They all took off running.

Magnus had never seen Alec look so distressed or small as he did crumpled on the ground next to a toppled over chair. Isabelle had tried to call out for him and Max had woken up in the chaos, but Magnus’s own calling of Alexander’s name seemed to be the only thing that got through to him.

Magnus couldn’t let himself think about what that meant.

Now, watching Alec leave, Magnus felt an uncomfortable thrumming in his veins as his body waited to jump into action at the next distressed sound.

A hand on his forearm made him jump and he turned to his left to see Isabelle watching him with a heavy gaze.

“He’ll be fine,” she said voice stronger than her current appearance would suggest. “Alec’s strong.”

Magnus nodded, but shifted his gaze back to the hallway where Alec had disappeared. “I didn’t know it was so bad…”

“I thought he told you about his PTSD?” Isabelle asked confusion lacing her words.

“No, he did...it’s just...I don’t know. I never imagined it was this bad, this hard on him…”

Jace who had been sitting next to Clary silently since Alec had disappeared again leaned forward in his seat and glared at Magnus. “Alec isn’t any less because of his disorder. It doesn’t make him bad or anything… if you can’t handle it---”

“Jace…” Clary whispered.

“Please believe me when I say it’s not that. Jace, Isabelle, of course I don’t see Alexander as anything less or anything bad. I was merely distressed to see how much he’s actually suffering.” Magnus paused waiting for both their faces to relax before he continued, “He’s just...he’s just so strong and I didn’t realize that he was suffering this much. I mean at Clary’s show---in the alley---I didn’t know it was worse than that.”

Isabelle and Jace considered him for a moment, before sharing a look with each other. Isabelle sighed before she started speaking again, “Magnus, I’m not going to lie to you or sugar coat it. It can get bad and ugly and there’s so many times that I’ve found myself cursing the universe because Alec is the last person in the world who deserves this. Not that anyone deserves this, but he’s been through enough shit in his life. Alec doesn’t deserve this. But he doesn’t want your pity, so if that’s all you have for him---”

“Isabelle, I don’t pity him,” Magnus tried to assure her. He sighed, exhaling deeply. “I want to protect him.”

Isabelle smiled a sad smile at him. “We all do, Magnus. But one thing you have to understand about Alec is that he doesn’t want to be protected; he just wants to be the protector.”

“But he can’t always protect everyone,” Magnus reasoned.

Jace who had fallen silent as he and Isabelle spoke turned again to look at Magnus. “We’ve been trying to tell him that for years, trust me. He just wants to feel needed -- like he’s helping and doing his duty -- but sometimes if you’re in the right place at the right time he'll let you in far enough to know that he needs help too.”

Magnus pondered that as Jace rested his head back on Clary’s shoulder and turned once again to look down the hall that Alec had gone down.

He wasn’t sure why the universe had made someone as beautiful and pure as Alexander Lightwood only to put him through hell, but Magnus made a promise to himself right there that he would do everything within his power to let Alec know that he was there for him. Magnus always wanted to be there for Alexander.

He looked between Isabelle and Jace. The two of them and Alec and Max had been through so much. He couldn’t help himself from throwing a heated glare behind them to where the Lightwood parents were sitting, stopping himself from marching over there and telling them off for hurting these broken and fragile people, for making their lives way harder than they wanted to be. But as he thought about Alec and Max and as he looked back at Jace and Isabelle who were tucked into Clary’s and Lydia’s sides, he wondered where all the love they had came from. It made him smile, a little sadly, thinking about how they’d found their own family and how hard they had had to work to fight for it. He wanted to know how they’d managed. He wanted to know everything about them, get to understand them and be there for them, not just Alexander, but all of them.

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked, turning in his chair to look more fully at Jace and Isabelle. They nodded. “What happened to him over there?” Magnus, knowing he was probably overstepping his boundaries, let the question hang heavy between the three of them.

Jace and Isabelle shared a look, before Jace spoke, “War sucks, Magnus. However obvious that might sound, it’s the truth. Any specifics about Alec’s time fighting are going to have to come from him. But you see shit over there that you can never unsee. It changes you.” Jace’s eyes were wide and unblinking as he looked at Magnus. Magnus had the distinct feeling that Jace was looking through him seeing some horror that only he knew.

Jace rested his head against Clary’s shoulder and Isabelle shifted closer to Lydia on her other side. All Magnus wanted to do was wrap Alexander in his arms, but for now he’d just wait, be there for him, in any way he needed.

 

* * *

 

When Alec made his way back to the waiting room, he saw his siblings embracing their girlfriends. He was surprised at how quickly Jace and Clary had gotten to where they were, but it didn’t seem weird. If he was being honest, it almost felt as if Clary were meant to be a part of their lives.

That same thought echoed loudly through his head as he saw Magnus and their eyes locked. Magnus looked exhausted and anxious, but he was here. He was here because Alec had called him. He had brought Alec out of his flashback and he’d stuck by him afterwards.

But more important than all of that was that he was still here. He hadn't left, run away after witnessing the full extent of Alec’s disorder. Alec felt a warmness settle in the middle of his chest as he sent Magnus a small and tired smile.

Magnus returned the smile, gesturing at the empty chair beside him and Alec was moments away from collapsing into it when his parents approached from the opposite side.

“So?” his father asked as harshly as always. His mother sent a glare towards her husband, but said nothing, instead turning on Alec herself.

“He’s fine. Sore and tired, but he’s Max. He’ll be fine,” Alec told his parents thankful to realize that he believed his own words.

“Well I’m glad,” Robert said stiffly, blinking in an attempt to clear his eyes. Alec couldn’t tell if it was from exhaustion or tears. He couldn’t imagine either. Alec couldn’t remember ever seeing his father cry. “Unfortunately, I have to be on a plane out west in an hour so I should go. Call if anything changes.” And before Alec had the chance to say anything, his father was gone.

“Are you alright, Alec?” Maryse asked looking Alec directly in the eye.

“Tired, but I’ll be fine. Max is what matters now.” Alec knew that everyone needed to stop worrying about him -- this wasn’t about him. “Now, if you don’t mind I’m going to sit down.”

“Wait, Alexander,” his mother stopped him with a hand around his wrist and he couldn’t help but think how wrong his name sounded coming from her cold tone of voice. Alec waited. “Who is that?” she gestured towards Magnus behind her, not bothering to look.

“He’s my neighbor, a friend,” Alec replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

“The one your siblings thought you were dating?” Maryse asked and Alec couldn’t detect her tone.

“Yes, but I can assure you he’s just a friend.”

Maryse pursed her lips, glancing over her shoulder before looking back at Alec with a look he clearly read as distain. “Just be careful, Alexander. With everything, you don’t want to be seen with...the wrong kind of people.”

Alec couldn’t hold back the scoff that came out at his mother’s words. He wasn’t sure what part of Magnus she was referring to when she spoke of the wrong kind of people, but he didn’t have time for any of it.

“You’re right, mother,” Alec replied, before pulling out of her grip and brushing past her to sit in the empty chair between Magnus and Clary.

 

* * *

 

“So those are your parents?” Magnus asked once Alexander had settled into the seat beside him.

Alec let out a dark laugh leaning forward to rest his head in his hands. “Lovely, aren’t they?”

Magnus watched Alec carefully, fighting off an urge to reach out and touch him again. He didn’t want to overwhelm Alec with any contact, especially after everything he’d been through tonight. Magnus glanced behind them to where Maryse had settled back into her corner as far away from her children as possible. He couldn’t stop himself from shaking his head -- in disappointment and anger -- at the way her and her husband had behaved.

“Oh yes, quite charming. I can definitely see where you get your cuddly nature from,” Magnus teased, tensing up at the possibility that he’d once again overstepped, but when Alec peered up at him and saw the expression on Magnus’s face he huffed out another laugh and a small smile painted itself on his face.

It quickly disappeared. “I just wish--- I don’t know for once they could act like parents and not the soldiers they were trained to be. I don’t want anyone to think that all marines are emotionless,” Alec said dropping his voice as he looked at Magnus with wide, concerned eyes.

Magnus could see how much Alec still thought of himself as a Marine and how much the weight of that title meant to him. He found himself again wanting to reach out and comfort Alec. Instead after a moment he just said, “No one thinks that, Alexander.”

Alec flushed and looked away after a moment, but Magnus felt a warmth settle in his chest.

A few minutes later a nurse came out to tell them that they’d be keeping Max in the hospital overnight and while they were welcome to wait, it was encouraged that they go home to get some rest themselves.

“I want to stay,” Alec said as the nurse left.

No one seemed surprised by that, all of them nodding and staying firmly in their chairs.

“I’ll go find us some coffee and food,” Clary piped up, slowly untangling herself from Jace and standing up.

“I’ll help you, biscuit,” Magnus offered standing up himself. He made to follow Clary, but a strong hand caught his wrist. He looked down at the hand encircling his wrist before slowly dragging his gaze up to meet Alexander’s wide, deep eyes.

“Thank you,” Alec said simply before releasing Magnus’s arm.

Magnus nodded, a little dazed as he blinked heavily caught up in the look of raw emotion floating across Alec’s features. “I meant it, Alexander. Anything for you,” he said in a low voice only intended for Alec’s ears. He kept his gaze on Alec’s for a few more seconds before he tore his eyes away and followed Clary down the hall.

 

* * *

 

Max was released from the hospital two days after the accident.

They had wanted to keep him an extra day for reasons that Alec didn’t fully understand but made him incredibly nervous nonetheless. However, the doctors and Catarina specifically had assured Alec that everything was fine and Max was sure to make a full recovery.

Max was going to need to go to physical therapy to learn how to properly use his crutches, but for the next week he’d be confined to a wheelchair due to the extent of the break.

Because it was summer and Max wasn’t at school, he’d been reluctantly staying with their parents, but considering their father was gone and their mother was constantly working, they didn’t want to leave Max alone. So after a loud argument outside the hospital with Maryse, it was decided that Max would stay with Alec who lived only a few blocks from the hospital so the initial transportation would be easy. Plus, both Alec and Max decided that it was the best option to keep them sane. They needed to be together for their own peace of mind.

After they’d gotten home and settled Max into Alec’s spare room, Max, being exhausted from the events of the last two days, had immediately fallen asleep.

Alec on the other hand hadn’t slept in three days. Everytime he closed his eyes the flashback, his nightmare was painted onto the inside of his eyelids in vivid details that made sleeping impossible.

He was exhausted.

On top of that every sound from Max’s room sent Alec running. Max was always asleep when he got there, but he couldn’t convince himself that Max was safe.

It was Saturday and Alec’s whole body was sore from exhaustion, between the not sleeping and work and taking care of Max, Alec was sure he was going to collapse any moment.

However, Alec had promised Magnus that he’d be at his party tonight. Which was why Alec stood in front of his mirror attempting to fix his hair as he had a fruitless conversation with Max who was propped up in the spare bed watching the news.

“I’ll be fine, Alec,” Max said for the sixth time. “You’ll be less than ten feet away from here all night. Stop worrying.”

Alec sighed in frustration running his hands through his hair once more before dragging them down his face. He walked to the doorway of Max’s room.

Max’s fully casted leg was propped high on pillows and the bedside table next to him was full of drinks and food.

Alec sighed again, leaning against the doorframe. “Okay, but if you need anything---”

“I know, Alec. I’ll be fine. Just go have fun.” Max smirked at him, the gesture muted by the bruises and stiches on his face. “You look nice; I’m sure Magnus will like it.”

Alec flipped Max off, shaking his head as Max burst into laughter. At least he seemed to be feeling better.

With one last reassurance from Max, Alec exited his apartment, stepping across the hall and knocking on Magnus’s door. The music on the other side reverberated through the floor and Alec felt as if his whole body was buzzing.

So when Magnus answered the door and it was clear no one else was there yet, Alec was genuinely confused.

“Alexander!” Magnus greeted him enthusiastically. “I’m glad you could make it.”

“Magnus, where is everyone?”

“Now, darling, you didn’t really think that the party started at seven did you?”

Alec shrugged, his face overheating as his whole body flushed. Honestly, Alec had zero thoughts concerning the party that didn’t involve Magnus himself. The last party he’d been to had been in undergrad and he’d decided then and there that it wasn’t for him.

“Why’d you tell me to come so early then?” Alec asked stepping into the apartment as Magnus stepped back and out of the way of the door.

Magnus closed the door and moved to turn down the music. “Because you, my dear friend, cannot be seen at a party hosted by _The Magnus Bane_ \-- up and coming fashion designer --- dressed like that.”

Alec’s blush deepened, but he noted the teasing tilt of Magnus’s mouth. He looked down at his own clothes. He was wearing a plain well worn black t-shirt and a worn pair of black jeans. He supposed he could have dressed up more.

“So what you just knew I’d be dressed unsatisfactorily?” Alec looked back up at Magnus, one eyebrow raised in an exasperated manner.

“Alexander, be real, we’ve known each other for a little over three months. I’m very familiar with your casual wardrobe.” And with that, Magnus turned to walk down the hall leading to his bedroom.

“Where are you going?” Alec silently cursed himself as he noticed how squeaky his voice had become.

“Come on. I have a surprise for you,” Magnus called out.

Alec shuffled on his feet looking around the apartment to see if he had any other options, before sighing and following Chairman Meow down the hall after Magnus.

He’d never seen Magnus’s bedroom before --- never been near Magnus’s bedroom --- and he was painfully aware of that fact as he stepped over the threshold of the double doors into the warm, red room.

And boy was it red. Everything that Alec saw was a deep, rich shade of red from the walls to the millions of throw pillows on the overly large bed. Alec was momentarily captivated by the size of the bed sitting centered against the back wall. The comforter looked to be made out of Heaven’s clouds and Alec felt an almost uncontrollable need to jump onto the bed, arms spread wide, and just melt. He had a suspicion he’d be able to sleep better on that bed than his own.

Magnus clearing his throat drew Alec’s attention away from the bed to Magnus himself who was hovering near a vanity holding a flute of gold-hued bubbling liquid.

“Magnus, I can’t ---” Alec found himself saying, before Magnus cut him off.

“It’s ginger ale, Alexander.”

A warm surge of gratitude and a deep ache of longing settled into Alec’s chest as he took the glass Magnus offered him, suppressing a shudder but not the blush on his face as their fingers brushed.

“To us,” Magnus smiled as he clinked his glass against Alec’s. A smile spread over Alec’s face as he took a sip of the soda, before lowering the flute back down.

“You said you had a surprise?” Alec asked, feeling his own eyes narrow in suspicion.

Magnus laughed. “I’m not going to harm you, Alexander. You can calm down.”

  
“I have a feeling we have very different definitions of the word harm.”

Magnus let out an undignified laugh, falling within a note of a giggle and Alec felt his whole chest warm with affection. It could be the cutest sound he’d ever heard. The smile on his face turned into a grin as he watched Magnus cough, attempting to ignore the sound that had just escaped his throat, and then started flitting around the room, making his way to the large closet on the opposite side.

He came out a moment later holding three hangers in his hand.

Alec was confused for a moment before he looked at the shirts and then up at Magnus’s knowing smirk.

“No.”

“Alexander, come on. It’ll be fun,” Magnus said a teasing lilt to his voice as he set the glass down.

“Magnus, I didn’t come over here to play dress up,” Alec replied folding his arms over his chest as best as he could while still holding the glass.

“Please. At least try,” Magnus said, lips pressed in a pout that Alec’s eyes zeroed in on. His eyes snapped back up to Magnus’s own after a moment. Magnus looked sincere and genuinely excited and Alec hated knowing that he couldn’t disappoint him.

“Fine,” Alec groaned before focusing on the shirts in Magnus’s hands. “What is that?” he asked horrified as he pointed at what he assumed was the first option.

It looked like a black tank top that had been torn apart by Chairman Meow. Almost nothing was holding the inner part of the shirt together except where it was attached at the neck and arms. Alec’s face burned just looking at the thing; he couldn’t imagine putting anything like that on his own body.

His wide eyes flicked up to Magnus. Apparently Magnus could see his more than slight hesitation.

“Maybe another time then,” Magnus said, setting the ripped tank top on his bed.

The next shirt Magnus held was a polo-styled shirt in a dark pink color almost like a raspberry. Alec gave Magnus what he hoped was his most unamused face because if Magnus knew him so well then what the hell was he thinking.

“Oh, come on, Alexander,” Magnus said but Alec could tell he was holding back a laugh. “You need a little color in your life.”

“I think I’m good,” Alec replied trying to keep his own mouth from twisting into a smile. “Magnus, be serious.”

“Oh trust me, I am one hundred percent serious. One day I’ll have you wearing all sorts of colors. You mark my words.” Magnus dropped the pink shirt onto the bed next to the black tank top. His face twisted into a ridiculous expression as he continued to ramble about Alec wearing colors. Alec couldn’t stop himself from laughing, which caused Magnus to pause and smile at him. Alec’s heart beat picked up. “Okay, fine. Here’s your last option.”

Magnus held up the last hanger that held a black t-shirt almost identical to the one that Alec was wearing. Alec flicked his gaze from the shirt to Magnus’s face back to the shirt, because he was almost certain Magnus was joking. But then he looked closer.

While the shirt was just a black t-shirt, there was nothing plain about it. The material was almost see through, but not sheer enough to actually see through. It looked soft to the touch, almost worn with age. The cut looked almost tailored to Alec’s body. He felt his face warm more from just the thought. The shirt was covered with black glitter that only shined in the right light as Magnus shifted the hanger. Alec had never seen something so simple yet so beautiful.

“Did you make this?” Alec asked and even to his own ears his voice sounded awestruck.

He glanced from the shirt to Magnus and noticed that his face had softened and he almost looked scared. But that couldn’t be right, because Magnus Bane had no reason to be scared showing Alec the most beautiful t-shirt he’d even seen.

“I did,” Magnus answered carefully. Alec could hear the self-conscious tone that floated just beneath the words.

“Magnus, it’s beautiful,” Alec said because he couldn’t think of another word to describe it.

Alec’s hand was reaching out for the shirt when Magnus pulled it back a little. “You don’t have to wear it, Alexander.”

“I’d be honored to wear it, Magnus,” Alec said honestly. The fact that Magnus had made a shirt for him, and by the looks of it it was specifically for him, touched Alec in a way he couldn’t even begin to describe. Not only had Magnus thought of taking the time out of his busy schedule to craft something for Alec but he’d made something that Alec would feel comfortable enough in and yet still stand out from his everyday wardrobe. Alec couldn’t help the smile that worked itself onto his face.

“Alec, I’m serious---”

“Magnus, it’s great. If you can make a t-shirt look this amazing, I can’t wait to see what else you can do---uh---I mean with clothes---at the show you know?” Alec’s face turned beat red as he stumbled on his words yet again. He brought his hand to the back of his neck to rub. “Um, where can I change?”

Magnus grinned at Alec looking truly ecstatic that Alec wanted to wear his design and pointed him to a door off the side of the bedroom that Alec assumed was the bathroom.

Alec slipped into the bathroom and took a few deep breaths. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment before tugging his hands back through his hair. He needed to relax. He really needed to stop thinking about Magnus’s bed.

So he pulled off his shirt and slipped on the new one. Then he just stared.

He wasn’t usually one to think about his looks. He’d spent most of his life self-conscious over his image. He knew that with all the training he did for the marines and the training routine he kept up now that he was at least in shape, but the scars that littered his body made it hard for him to appreciate.

However, as he looked in the mirror at the reflection staring back at him, Alec had to admit that he looked really good. The shirt that Magnus had made, it was now guaranteed that it had been made specifically for Alec with the way it fit, was amazing. It formed perfectly to his body and the glitter highlighted his skin tone. He’d never felt more comfortable in a single piece of clothing other than his uniform ever.

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he looked at himself one more time before turning to leave the bathroom.

Magnus was sitting at the vanity spraying something into his hair and Alec realized that he’d been so distracted by the music and lack of people and being in Magnus’s bedroom that he hadn’t realized how incredible Magnus looked. Not that he was surprised.

As Magnus applied the finishing touches to his look, Alec allowed his eyes to rake over Magnus’s body just once taking in the outfit that he no doubt designed himself.

From where he was sitting Alec couldn’t see his pants, but the silver blazer embroidered with bright blue thread stood out in a way that only Magnus could pull off. The black shirt underneath had a wide and open neck that seemed to display almost the entirety of Magnus’s chest which was of course decorated with long black and silver chains. Alec dragged his gaze upwards to Magnus’s face taking in the silver eyeliner and blue eyeshadow and finally Magnus’s silver tipped hair that he seemed to be spraying with glitter. He looked incredible.

Alec found himself staring at Magnus’s face in the mirror and after a few moments Magnus set down the hairspray and his gaze found Alec’s own in the mirror. They stared at each other for a few moments. A soft smile painted itself onto Magnus’s face and Alec felt his own face heat up even as his mouth curved upwards.

“You look wonderful, Alexander,” Magnus said as he turned around on his stood to face Alec head on.

“You did a good job, Magnus,” Alec replied, not knowing what else to say. “You also look really good.” Alec brought his hand up to rub at the back of his neck as his gaze shifted down to the floor.

“Oh I almost forgot,” Magnus said, turning back to the vanity and pulling out a black stick of some sort of makeup or another. “There’s just one finishing touch to your ensemble as a guest of honor at the great Magnus Bane’s fashion party.”

Alec’s brow furrowed as he looked at Magnus in confusion before his gaze flicked fully to the stick that Magnus held. That’s when his eyes went wide.

 

* * *

 

Applying eyeliner onto Alexander’s wide and deep set brown eyes was proving to be more of a challenge than Magnus would have liked to admit.

Alec’s eyes were closed as Magnus expertly painted the thin line of liner onto his top lid. He had protested for a few moments before giving into Magnus’s equally expert pout, but Magnus had promised to keep it subtle.

“And done,” Magnus said as he applied the last stroke and Alec’s eyes fluttered open, blinking momentarily before focusing on Magnus’s own.

As Alec’s eyes settled on him, Magnus’s breath caught in his throat. Alexander was gorgeous every day but the thin ring of black brought out the long, dark eyelashes rimming his eyes and made his eyes look so much richer.

Alec seemed to be just as distracted by Magnus’s eyes as Magnus was with Alexander’s. They remained like that, Alec sitting at Magnus’s vanity facing Magnus and Magnus hovering above Alec probably a little too close for the task at hand. Magnus had to restrain himself from bringing his hand to brush across Alec’s cheekbone. Instead his hand twitched at his side.

Alec leaned forward on the seat a little, pushing closer into Magnus’s lack of personal space, and his mouth opened as if he were going to say something. But nothing came out. Magnus watched as Alec’s lips fluttered, his jaw working at something, but not creating anything.

Magnus’s gaze was fixed on Alec’s lips, so full and pink and plump. What he would give to kiss that mouth. He felt himself leaning down as if he were watching it from above. He tried to stop, he needed to stop, this wasn’t what their relationship was. Alec was his friend. He couldn’t kiss Alec right now. But the space between them was closing, seemingly by itself and….

A knock at the door had them jumping apart. Magnus fell backwards crashing his leg into the foot of his bed as Alec practically fell off the stool wobbling as he tried to stand up right.

Alexander’s face was that lovely shade of pink and his hand was working at the back of his head like it did when he was nervous. Magnus’s hand flailed out a bit, waiting for words to appear on his tongue, to say anything.

The person at the door knocked again, louder and more incessant.

“I should...um…go get that,” Magnus said waving his hand awkwardly toward the door before exiting his bedroom leaving Alexander staring after him.

 

* * *

 

Alec stood in the corner of Magnus’s apartment watching everyone mingle and dance. Everyone was happily buzzed while he stood in the corner sipping on a glass of ginger ale. Izzy had attempted to get him to dance, but he had just shaken his head and laughed saying that he was fine.

The truth was he wasn’t sure if he could be so close to Magnus again, who was currently dancing his life away in the middle of the living room. Alec couldn’t tear his eyes off of the way that Magnus’s body moved, hips thrusting in a mesmerizing way that only led Alec to think about what had happened earlier in Magnus’s bedroom.

He’d almost kissed Magnus. How could he be so stupid? Magnus didn’t like him like that and he wasn’t ready for a relationship at the moment. He wasn’t sure why he had to keep reminding himself of these things. It should be easy. He’d managed to not make out with any of his friends up until this point in his life and he’d managed for twenty-eight years to not be in a relationship. So why did Magnus Bane have to come into his life and ruin all that?

Alec’s gaze flicked over to the bar. He wasn’t supposed to drink. Or at least that was the spiel given to him by the pharmacist. He’d done the research and he’d drunk on the meds before. While it didn’t interact negatively to a huge extent with the meds, he knew the side effects. Mostly he just got drunk faster and then fell asleep. And honestly, Alec had never wanted to drink more than he did right now. He should probably analyze that feeling more before diving in, but at the moment, with Magnus thrusting his hips and Alec’s life falling apart, he didn’t care.

He was sick of having to be strong in every aspect of his life. So he made sure that no one who knew him was watching before he walked over to the bar cart and poured a shot of whiskey into his ginger ale. That’s all he’d have. He’d be fine. He could let loose once in awhile. He’d go back to not drinking tomorrow.

He took a sip and sighed at the small burn the liquid caused as it traveled down his body. He was already feeling warmer.

 

* * *

 

“Izzy,” Alec called to his sister as he stumbled over to her in the crowd of Magnus’s guests. He ignored the looks everyone gave him as he pushed his way through the people. Magnus had too many friends.

“Alec,” Izzy greeted him, before her eyes narrowed a little. “I thought you didn’t want to dance.”

“Of course I want to dance, Izzy,” Alec said throwing his free arm in the air and waving it off beat. Magnus came up next to Izzy and Alec had to blink a little, because Magnus was just too pretty. “Magnus!”

“Alexander,” Magnus replied eyebrows raised a little. “Have you been drinking?” Alec watched Magnus’s eyebrows knit together as he continued to watch Alec.

“Yes. It’s good,” Alec said. His lips were starting to tingle and his gaze dropped to Magnus’s mouth thinking of other ways his lips could be tingling.

“Alec, how much have you had?” Izzy asked folding her arms across her chest.

“Just the one,” Alec said raising one finger on his free hand to emphasize the point.

“Well, one is a lot when you combine it with meds,” Izzy said under her breath but Alec still heard her.

“I can hear you,” Alec said raising his eyebrows at his sister.

“I know you can,” Izzy sighed. “Magnus, can you help me get him back to his apartment? I’m afraid he’s not going to be standing much longer.”

Alec tried to glare at his sister, but his eyelids suddenly felt extremely heavy. Maybe it was the eyeliner that Magnus had put on him earlier. Did it weigh a lot?

“Why don’t we just put him in my bed? It will be easier than trying to maneuver him through the hall,” Magnus was saying and Alec couldn’t protest. He’d finally get to know if Magnus’s bed was as comfortable as it looked.

Izzy gave Magnus a look that Alec couldn’t decipher, before wrapping her arm around his waist and leading him down the hall, Magnus following behind them.

Izzy led Alec over to the bed, helping him to sit down on the edge. Alec flopped backwards, spreading his arms wide and laughing a little at the sensation.

“You have a really nice bed, Magnus,” Alec commented as he rolled over onto his side and looked up at where Izzy and Magnus stood next to the bed.

“Thank you, Alexander,” Magnus said. He looked sad, but Alec didn’t know why. He didn’t want Magnus to be sad, but his brain was too fuzzy to figure out how to help. So he just closed his eyes.

He immediately fell asleep.

 

 

* * *

 

Alec woke up with a pounding in his brain. His mouth tasted awful and he couldn’t remember falling asleep.

He blinked one eye open trying to protect his brain from the sun flowing through his window only to realize there was no sun because there were heavy red curtains blocking the window. It took him longer than he’d like to admit to realize that he wasn’t in his room.

That’s when the weight on his back registered and he looked down to see an arm wrapped around his waist ending with a nail-painted hand. He could tell they were both fully clothed and he hadn’t been that drunk last night anyway, but waking up in Magnus’s bed with Magnus’s arm wrapped around him and Magnus plastered to his back was not something Alec had anticipated.

He looked up trying to figure out a way to get free from Magnus without waking him up. He didn’t allow himself to think about how warm and pleasant it felt to have Magnus’s arm around him. He didn’t need to go there.

He also didn’t think about how he’d once again slept through the night with Magnus close by.

His eyes flitted around the room and landed on the nightstand next to the bed where his phone was sitting. That’s when he realized what had woken him up.

He gingerly reached out to grab the phone careful not to move to much. He had three missed texts from Max.

“Shit,” Alec whispered under his breath.

He slowly worked Magnus’s arm off his body, ignoring the spark that went up his arm as he lifted Magnus’s hand with his own. He moved one of the throw pillows into the space he had been occupying and Magnus thankfully hugged that to his chest as if Alec had never been there at all.

He moved off the bed grabbing his shoes that had been placed at the foot of the bed and as quietly as possible snuck out of the room closing Magnus’s bedroom door behind him.

A few people littered Magnus’s living room and Alec wondered how late the party had gone on as he avoided stepping on someone as he made his way to the door. He glanced at the mirror next to the front door only to shudder at his image. He had smeared eyeliner under his eyes and his hair was a mess. A pillow crease split his cheek in half. He quietly opened the door stepping out into the hallway and closing the door behind him.

He went to unlock his own door only to find it already unlocked. A shot of panic worked its way down Alec’s spine as he rushed into his own apartment.

Max was sitting in his wheelchair staring at the door. He gave Alec a wide eyed look before shifting his gaze to the side.

Alec still huffing a little turned to see his father standing in the entryway of his hallway.

“Alexander, we need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me @matslightwood on Tumblr!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol it's been almost a year since i updated this... this is only really half a chapter but it seemed like it ended on a good place and i decided 2.5k words was better than nothing
> 
> can't promise when the next update will be but hope y'all enjoy this snippet into the lives of our fave dorks

Alec froze in his doorway, letting the door slam behind him. He blinked as his father stared at him, eyes narrowing as he took in Alec’s face. 

Shit. Alec had smudged eyeliner around his eyes and was wearing a fucking sparkly shirt. Of course Robert chose today to finally pay a visit to his son. He was fairly certain that Robert Lightwood hadn’t stepped foot in his apartment since Alec moved there. 

“Dad, what are you doing here?” Alec asked shaking himself out of his daze as his eyes darted over to Max who shrugged as best as he could. 

“We need to talk about how you behaved to your mother and myself in the hospital?” Robert said, arms folded over his chest. 

Alec couldn’t help his eyes from widening as he shifted his attention back to his father in disbelief. 

“You’re kidding me right? You want to talk about my behavior as if I’m some child, as if you and mom weren’t causing more of a scene,” Alec said anger eating away at any composure he hoped to keep up. 

“Alexander---” 

“It’s Alec. Why do you care now after all these years? Aren’t you supposed to be in California taking care of your obedient soldiers and shacking up with your mistress?” 

“ALEXANDER---” 

“It’s Alec.” Alec stood up as straight as he could towering over his father as Robert took a step closer to him. “Why are you here?” 

“I’m concerned about your behavior.” 

Alec couldn’t stop himself from scoffing if he wanted to and at the moment he certainly didn’t want to. “Are you serious? My behavior? I’m not the one who ships their children off to a war zone just to teach us some sort of lesson. I’m not the one who is constantly trying to get their only unscarred child to enlist. I’m not the one basically blackmailing my children into life as a soldier. And I’m sure as hell not the one who cut off my mentally ill son and forced him to pay tuition for his younger brother that he can barely afford. I’m not the one fucking abusing my children, Robert.” 

Alec’s chest was heaving as he stared down at his father who watched him with wide eyes and shock on his face. Alec had never stood up for himself or any of them that directly before. He wasn’t sure if it was the therapy or the exhaustion or the traumatic events of the last few days or what, but it felt good to finally get that all off his chest. 

“What has gotten into you, Alexander?” 

Alec’s fists clenched at his sides as he resisted the sudden urge to hit his father. He’d never do it, but at the moment it was hard to imagine why not. 

“Stop calling me that,” Alec fumed, voice steady and low. He was twenty-eight years old and the least he could do was get his father to call him by his chosen name. 

Robert dropped his arms to his sides, standing at attention and Alec mimicked his stance, not showing his father the fear he was holding in. 

“What are you really doing here, dad?” Max’s voice broke the thick tension that had risen in the room and they both snapped their attention towards Max on the couch. 

“What is this?” Robert asked arm swinging out towards Max’s prone form on the couch. 

“What do you---?” 

“Where the hell were you? Aren’t you supposed to be watching your brother? If you’re so much better than your mother and I, where the hell were you while Max was here all alone?” 

Alec blanched looking between his father and Max. Max’s face pleaded with Alec to not listen to their father, but the damage had already been done. Robert had struck the chord he intended and made Alec feel like utter shit. 

When Alec didn’t say anything, Robert scoffed, moving to step around his son and towards the door. “That’s what I thought.” Robert reached for the door handle, paused and turned back to face Alec. “I would like you to drop Max off at our house tomorrow. Your mother and I no longer trust you or your judgement.” 

And Alec heard the underlying note, that thing that told him this all stemmed from whom he was choosing to spend time with. He could tell from the vile tone in his father’s voice that this went back to his sexuality. It seemed to always go back to his being gay when it came to his father and his mother. 

In that moment, Alec gave up any hope of ever being fully accepted by them. As the door closed behind Robert, Alec promised himself that he would never bend to their will ever again. 

Alec relaxed as his father left the apartment and turned to find Max’s sympathetic face staring at him. 

“Alec…” 

“No, it’s fine. I’m good,” Alec started. 

“Alec, what he said, it’s not… You’re literally the best brother anyone could ask for. I have two other reliable sources who will back me up on that.” 

Tears flooded Alec’s eyes and he blinked quickly to get rid of them before he did something stupid like cry. 

“How do you feel about going to the animal shelter today?” 

“Alec, we don’t have to---” 

“No that was our original plan and if you’re not feeling up to it, I understand, but I think some fluffy animals will make both of us feel better right about now,” Alec said, cocking his head to the side and raising an eyebrow at Max. 

A smile slowly spread over Max’s face. “I was hoping we were still going to go.” 

///

Magnus stretched shoving his face into his pillow, the throbbing in his head increasing as he woke up. 

Groaning he rolled over to the other side of the bed, hoping the change in position would be enough to help him fall back to sleep. But instead all he noticed was the bed was too warm and smelt too much like Alexander. 

Magnus shot up, clutching at his head as it spun, and tried to remember the events of last night. Slowly bits and pieces came back to him and he remembered collapsing onto his bed in the wee hours of the morning and draping his arm around a sleeping Alexander. 

He wondered how long Alec had been gone, but knew it couldn’t have been that long considering the bed was still warm. He’d have to apologize later. But first, he needed coffee. 

///

After taking his pills, some aspirin, and grabbing a travel mug of coffee, Alec wheeled Max out of the apartment and towards the elevator. 

“You’re not going to bring me back to Mom and Dad’s after this are you?” Max asked, trying to sound nonchalant and failing. 

“Hell no,” Alec said as they got onto the elevator. “We’re two grown adults and neither of us are financially reliant on them so I see that as us not having to pay attention to anything they say. However, it’s not going to be fun or pleasant when they realize you’re not going back.” 

“Screw them,” Max said as they made their way out onto the Brooklyn street. 

Alec tried to keep his smile to himself he really did, but Max caught sight of it and they both started laughing as they made their way to the closest animal shelter. 

///

The shelter was chaotic as Alec and Max entered. Alec felt that tug in the back of his mind, but closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and shoving those thoughts away. It was just an animal shelter. 

“Welcome!” an enthusiastic teen greeted them as they walked in. “What brings you to the shelter today?” 

Alec cleared his throat, before turning his attention on the teenager. “We’re looking for a cat.” 

The boy nodded and started walking towards the kennels, Alec followed behind, pushing Max along. 

“These are the cats,” the boy waved his arm towards the area that held the cats. “Most of them are friendly, if not a little scared, but there are a few that don’t really mix well with others. I’ll let you look around, holler if you need anything.” 

Alec nodded, waiting for the boy to disappear back into the front office. He turned to Max. “See anything you like?” 

“Isn’t it for you?” 

“You know I’m no good at picking anything out, Max. Just ask Izzy about my wardrobe.” Alec smirked at his younger brother, who immediately laughed. 

“True.” Max started pushing himself up the aisle looking at all the cats in the cages. 

Alec wandered around by himself. He made it to the dog section of the back room, bending down to get a closer look. The second kennel he came to held a dog who was cowering in the back corner. He looked old and abused and terrified. Alec immediately fell in love. 

“Hey, buddy,” he cooed at the old mutt. He squatted down so he was at eye level with the dog, putting out his hand to usher the dog forward. 

After a few minutes, the dog slowly walked forward, eyes shifting between Alec’s face and Alec’s hand. He approached and started to sniff Alec’s hand like it might explode, before he licked it all over. Alec took that as a sign that the dog trusted him enough to pet him. He started scratching behind the dog’s ears. 

“That’s a good boy,” Alec cooed more at the dog. “What’s your name, buddy?” Alec asked, looking up at the cage, where an information sheet was taped to the door. “Scout. Oh, yeah, that’s a good name. You’re a good boy, Scout.” 

“ALEC,” Max shouted from down the hall, causing Scout to scurry back into his corner. 

“It’s okay, boy,” Alec said, as he left Scout and made his way back towards Max. “What?” 

“I found the perfect cat,” Max said excitedly. When Alec looked at the cat that Max was pointing to, he saw the ugliest cat he’d ever seen. It was a matted grey with a flat face and looked about as mean as anything. 

“Really? That’s the perfect cat?” 

“He loves me. Watch!” Max stuck his hand in the kennel and the cat approached, sniffed his hand, and then licked it with his small cat tongue. Max turned to face Alec, eyes wide. “Can I get him?” 

“I thought we were here for me?” Alec asked, crossing his arms and hoping he wouldn’t break. Teasing Max was one of his favorite pastimes. 

“You’re right. Sorry. Did you find anything?” 

Alec lowered his arms. “I’m just kitten, Max,” Alec said. Max rolled his eyes so hard Alec thought they would break. 

“Oh my god,” Max said, facepalming. “Did you really just plan that all out?” 

“I don’t know why you’re so against the fact that your brother is the funniest person ever. But you can get the cat. I found a dog for me.” 

Max smiled wide at Alec, before Alec turned to go collect the shelter assistant. 

///

“You two are kidding right?” the teenage boy asked, staring at them dumbfounded. 

Alec and Max exchanged looks, clearly confused as to why they were being questioned right now. 

“No,” they said in unison. 

“Suit yourself, but the shelter really frowns on returned animals, just a warning,” the boy replied. “I’ll go get your paperwork started. Let me get them out of their kennels first. I have a cat carrier for that one. One second.” 

The boy disappeared and reappeared a moment later with a cat carrier and thick gloves. He gently opened the cat cage and stepped in. The cat immediately started hissing and clawing at him. Somehow, he wrestled him into the carrier. “Are you sure you still want him?” the boy asked, heaving as he stepped out of the kennel. 

Max nodded enthusiastically as the boy handed him the carrier. 

“Good riddance, kid. I’ve never seen Church get along with anyone. But more power to ya.” With that he made his way to the dog section, stopping in front of Scout’s kennel. “You’re sure this is the dog?” 

Alec nodded. The kid walked into the kennel and hooked the leash up to Scout, only for the dog to not budge. 

“Can I try?” Alec asked. The kid dropped the leash, raising his hands in surrender. Alec entered the kennel, fighting against the anxiety he was feeling from being trapped inside a small cage. “Hey, Scout.” Alec squatted in front of the dog, patiently. After a few beats, Scout slowly made his way over to Alec. Alec petted him and the dog nudged at his legs, tail starting to wag. 

“You two must be some kind of animal whisperers. I’ve never seen either of these animals behave like this before. Let me go get your paperwork. You can bring them out to the office.” 

///

Alec had been so preoccupied with his dad and the animals that he hadn’t thought about sleeping in Magnus’s bed last night or what a fool he’d probably made of himself. That was until the elevator dinged open on their floor and Magnus stood in front of it. 

Alec’s heart started to race. Scout cowered behind his legs. “Magnus,” Alec said in lieu of a greeting, throat dry. 

“Alexander.” Magnus wouldn’t meet his eye, instead looking around the hall and the elevator. “And who do we have here?” Magnus asked, eyes zeroing in on Scout. 

“Max and I went to the shelter earlier. This is Scout. Max has a demon cat in the apartment as well.” 

Magnus chuckled, before bending down to be at Scout’s level. “Hey there, buddy. You’re one lucky boy, did you know that?” Scout slowly came out from behind Alec’s legs, looking at Magnus with wide eyes. 

Alec barely had time to think before Scout had run out from behind him and pounced Magnus flat on his back in the hallway. He was licking his face when Alec regained his senses. 

“Scout, bad dog,” Alec said, regaining his grip on Scout’s leash. “Shit, Magnus, I’m so sorry.” 

Magnus was waving a hand at Alec, laughing so hard he looked like he was about to cry, and petting Scout with his other hand. “It’s really okay, Alexander. I didn’t like this shirt anyway.” 

Alec managed to get Scout to sit and Magnus sat up. His smile was contagious and Alec couldn’t help but grin. “I guess I’m not as special as I thought I was,” Alec said, patting Scout’s head. He held out his hand to help Magnus up. 

Electricity shot up his arm when Magnus grabbed his hand. He pulled Magnus up and Magnus caught himself with a hand to Alec’s chest before he knocked Alec over. “You’re more special than you could even imagine.” His voice dropped lower than Alec had ever heard it before and it sent a shiver down Alec’s spine. Alec licked his lips, chewing on his bottom lip, trying to think of something to say. His eyes dropped down to Magnus’s tongue tracing his own lip. Magnus cleared his throat. “Well, I have to get going. Fashion emergency. I can still count on you to come to the show on Wednesday, right?” 

Alec nodded and Magnus disappeared into the elevator. Alec sighed, leaning against the wall. Scout started to whimper. “I know how you feel,” Alec told the dog before he walked him back to the apartment.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, feel free to come chat with me @[matsdaddario](http://matsdaddario.tumblr.com)


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